London Zoo staff are having problems getting their only 2 mountain gorillas to successfully breed so in desperation they seek a solution. They spot a team of road-workers outside the zoo and realise that the big Irish fellah on the shovel would be the perfect match for the female gorilla so they pop over and ask him. The Head ZooKeeper says "Look, we've a problem and need you to hump the gorilla, would you do it for £500?" The Irishman says "Yes but theres 3 conditions",the ZooKeeper says "Well let's hear them and see if we've got a deal". The Irishman says "No kissing,thats taking it too far" and the Zoo-Keeper says "No problem,we'll train her not to kiss you." "Second condition is I dont want my family to find out,there must be total secrecy." To which the ZooKeeper replies "Thats understandable,and we will respect your wishes.Whats the third condition?" The Irishman replies "Can you give me a fortnight to raise the £500?"