SAS SECRETS AND LIES

#1
Author, professional Dylan the Rabbit impersonator and self styled threat to national security G*rdon Stev*ns has recently returned from a top secret trip to France with members of 22 SAS. Stev*ns (74) has been telling anyone and everyone stupid enough to listen about his ultra top secret mission to occupied France with our boys from Hereford.
Having known Stev*ns for over 6 weeks I am convinced that Stev*ns presence in France was some form of new top secret training possibly introduced by the head-shed in Hereford to train the Regiment with the ability to remain conscious under extreme pressure or when attacked with the new “Boring Bomb” being developed by Isle of Man extremists.
An unofficial source told me that an hour with Stev*ns is worse than the interrogation training on selection, I would rather listen to white noise.

World famous author and internationally renowned ladies man St*vens (86) is promising to tell all in a kiss and tell book to be published by Random Thought. In one exciting episode St*vens reveals that one of the Guys in a tense atmosphere and circumstances of ultra high security actually said “alright G*rdon” making the author go week at the knees, like a girl.
St*vens (88) had wished to “buddy Jump” while in France until it was discovered he didn’t have any. The book (My Lovely Top Secret Trip To France With 22 SAS) is due out in time for lunch, priced at £1.99 or 2 pence on Amazon.

St*vens (94) lives alone in a one roomed two windowed six bath roomed penthouse in south London with his poodle Trixy he is currently appearing in Norfolk where he can be found destroying the history (channel) and good name of the SAS for a forthcoming History Channel production entitled SAS Originals the Musical, he is also working on SAS On Ice a family spectacular for the Christmas holidays.

As loyal decent subjects we would kindly like to reminded those possibly reading this in the Regents park area of London that loose sh*ts write scripts and tell people about sensitive details in advance of trips to France like hotels, travel plans, numbers and names and tried to secretly photograph the guys on the trip.. …..Time for bed said Zebedee.

:censored:


8O - moved. mk
 
#3
some thing tells me some one has been on a walt stag do in france, giving it large walt stuff!!
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#4
Shurely shum mishtake?!?!? You mean 33 SAS don't you?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#5
Can we have that in Englis please? I'm afraid I failed my basic course in Gibberish.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#7
Certa_Cito said:
Either that or someone is bored this morning and has decided to do some fishing........
Then they may need some better bait!
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#9
Certa_Cito said:
Wait and see how many responses there are in between NAAFI break and lunch OFAH :D
If it works, then I may dangle my own little worm. :lol:
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#10
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Certa_Cito said:
Wait and see how many responses there are in between NAAFI break and lunch OFAH :D
If it works, then I may dangle my own little worm. :lol:
Havn't you caught enough things with it?
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#11
B_AND_T said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Certa_Cito said:
Wait and see how many responses there are in between NAAFI break and lunch OFAH :D
If it works, then I may dangle my own little worm. :lol:
Havn't you caught enough things with it?
Not had a nibble for ages.
 
#12
I know S* from 49 Para, his career is long and distinguished. He was over in France choosing some swatches for the new curtains we're putting up in the Boathouse. Looks like we'll be going with magenta in order to compliment the exterior paintwork.
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#13
Bat_Crab said:
I know S* from 49 Para, his career is long and distinguished. He was over in France choosing some swatches for the new curtains we're putting up in the Boathouse. Looks like we'll be going with magenta in order to compliment the exterior paintwork.
Boathouse magenta now isi it?!?! It used to be fuschia when I was a-frolicking in the er, canal?
 
#14
Get with the plot OFAH. Someone wants a bite and you have to go off topic bragging with the size of your dick :wink:

Good come back B&T. THEM to "doses" in 10 replies :D
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#15
Bat_Crab said:
I know S* from 49 Para, his career is long and distinguished. He was over in France choosing some swatches for the new curtains we're putting up in the Boathouse. Looks like we'll be going with magenta in order to compliment the exterior paintwork.
Oh Lordy no! Magenta clashes terribly with *. A pale lemon, Sunrise surprise would complement it nicely, perhaps with Sand terracotta border.
 
#16
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Bat_Crab said:
I know S* from 49 Para, his career is long and distinguished. He was over in France choosing some swatches for the new curtains we're putting up in the Boathouse. Looks like we'll be going with magenta in order to compliment the exterior paintwork.
Oh Lordy no! Magenta clashes terribly with *. A pale lemon, Sunrise surprise would complement it nicely, perhaps with Sand terracotta border.
Terracotta? We tried that in 1982 and it didn't work with the hanging baskets or the soft furnishings.
 

B_AND_T

LE
Book Reviewer
#17
Just to be slightly different, have you thought about magnolia?
 

Biped

LE
Book Reviewer
#18
Bat_Crab said:
old_fat_and_hairy said:
Bat_Crab said:
I know S* from 49 Para, his career is long and distinguished. He was over in France choosing some swatches for the new curtains we're putting up in the Boathouse. Looks like we'll be going with magenta in order to compliment the exterior paintwork.
Oh Lordy no! Magenta clashes terribly with *. A pale lemon, Sunrise surprise would complement it nicely, perhaps with Sand terracotta border.
Terracotta? We tried that in 1982 and it didn't work with the hanging baskets or the soft furnishings.
Agreed, chintz is alright on the night, but not with terracota.
 
#20
Certa_Cito said:
How about turquoise ?

Coat, wallet, TAAAAAAXi
That's no good, it's just what they'd be expecting :wink: Lilac is the way forward.
 

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