Daily Mash, again SALES of the British-built L115A3 long-range sniper rifle have risen by almost 250% in a single week, it emerged last night. Fuck your iPad The record-breaking increase comes after a corporal in the Household Cavalry blew the heads off five Taliban insurgents from the bathroom window of his house in Oxfordshire, almost 4000 miles away. The corporal, who cannot be identified because he is probably Andy McNab, was at home photo-shopping his face out of his own wedding pictures when he received an SOS call from a platoon who were pinned down and required urgent sniper assistance. Sources said the corporal made the kills then ran to the other side of the house and won a fairground sharp-shooting competition that was taking place in Houston, Texas. A spokesman from manufacturers Accuracy International who wished to remain anonymous because he is probably Andy McNab said: "It's a versatile killing machine that you can a potter around with at home or use as part of CIA black-op that does not exist." Mother-of-two Sally Gordon, from Hatfield, bought an L115A3 for her son's ninth birthday. She said: "All I heard for about a week was 'mummy can I have an L115A3? Mummy can I have an L115A3?'. It was driving me bonkers. "I found a website that was doing them half price and he could trade in his RPA Rangemaster .50 at the same time. He hardly ever used that old thing anyway - the night-scope kept catching on the clip of his dungarees." She added: "He's so happy with the L115A3. Its superior weight-to-range ratio is much better suited to his size and offers unparalleled accuracy and adaptability in a variety of adverse weather conditions. And it came with a Pizza Hut voucher." Weekend air-rifle enthusiast Cyril Thompson who is probably Andy NcNab, said: "Before, when I took my little nephews out shooting we were limited to rats, pigeons, maybe the odd Asian. But last Sunday Eric took down two cows that were lined up with a single shot. "Quite impressive stuff when you consider that one of them was in Colchester and the other was in Tunisia."