Sage like advice for BBQ's?

#2
Well that was a mong like attempt at starting a thread. Anyway where was I? Ah yes BBQs.

Whilst iv been to many I have never been the "senior man", responsible for the actual BBQing. And as it is the season, with a brand spanking new barbie bought and built I was after some nuggets of advice from the men of arrse.

What is the acceptable beer to food ratio?
How do I avoid killing my guests with food poisoning?
How exactly does one go bout BBQing eggs?

And any other advice from other BBQ gurus would be appreciated. And as this is the naafi- fuck the search function, cunt shit arse tit
 

Joker62

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#3
Well that was a mong like attempt at starting a thread. Anyway where was I? Ah yes BBQs.

Whilst iv been to many I have never been the "senior man", responsible for the actual BBQing. And as it is the season, with a brand spanking new barbie bought and built I was after some nuggets of advice from the men of arrse.

What is the acceptable beer to food ratio?
How do I avoid killing my guests with food poisoning?
How exactly does one go bout BBQing eggs?

And any other advice from other BBQ gurus would be appreciated. And as this is the naafi- fuck the search function, cunt shit arse tit
1) There is no ratio, just don't run out of beer though.
2) Precook certain things like chicken and pork ribs.
3) As for BBQ Eggs, you either know or you don't, it's s secret passed down from father to son and it may not leave the family on pain of death, you just have to make sure that you find a BBQ Egg Guru before you start.
4) Don't run out of beer!!
 
#10
As Joker said, don't run out beer. No, don't.

Make sure its burning hot enough before you start lobbing on half cows and freshly shot rabbits, that way it'll cook and not just burn the outside. Also, don't drink a WHOLE case of Stella whilst 'cooking', it will end in tears.

Also you shouldn't really be considering even attending a BBQ if you don't know how to do eggs, what are you, a fucking puff?
 
#11
Get yourself a BFO 22 inch cast iron frying pan. Does great curries on the braai. Snack on that while you wait for the boerie and steak to cook.


Find yourself a Saffer butcher to help you with the meat. He'll also give you a few ideas for toasties and other things you can chuck on the braai.
 
#14
As Joker said, don't run out beer. No, don't.

Make sure its burning hot enough before you start lobbing on half cows and freshly shot rabbits, that way it'll cook and not just burn the outside. Also, don't drink a WHOLE case of Stella whilst 'cooking', it will end in tears.

Also you shouldn't really be considering even attending a BBQ if you don't know how to do eggs, what are you, a fucking puff?
I'm more of a Carlseberg man to be honest . And I'm not a puff. Just a youngster taking his first tentative steps towards senior manhood. At 27 I thought it was about time.
 
#16
1. Don't use Brickets, use lumpwood charcoal. You can't beat the 'real' thing

2. Don't use the BBQ fluid stuff. Everything will stink of propellant. Use kindling and paper to get the thing going.

3. If your BBQ is big enough have the coals over to one side so you can have a warming area. If you spread them allez uber die platz, then everyhting will cook all the time.

4. With (3) above, if you have a lid, place chicken and other oven type foods on the grill but not directly over the coals and put the lid on (remembering to open any built in ventilation holes to stop it all going out) and it'll cook like an oven but with a BBQ flavour. Note: Don't keeping the liftingh the lid, however baste the food as often as practical

5. Don't keep turning the food over and over again. You're hands should be occupied holding and handing out the Stella.

6. BBQing, is all about timing.
 
#17
Marinate the meat overnight, and get it from the butchers. My local fishmonger does some fantastic stuff like zebra, kangaroo and ostrich so you could throw a couple of things like that on to spice it up a bit. I've found rabbit usually goes down well, some folk seem curious to try it.

As Jarrod said, make your own burgers. There's about 4.7million recipes for all kinds of them, ones with cheese in the middle always go down a treat.
 
#19
To go one step further than one fo Fat_Cav's points - for the love of god, don't get a gas BBQ - You may as well cook the food on your cooker.

Remember - it takes about an hour or more to get the coals burning properly, so it's almost ready when folk come round. It's not as if it goes out fast. Also buy bottled beers, tend to taste better then cans. Tesco do those little French bottles of 250ml lager that allows people to take their time drinking, without worrying that the bottom of the drink is going to be warm when you get to it.

If you want to impress - get an old 2nd hand fridge, keep it in the shed / garage and at BBQ's get a good extension lead and have the old fridge in the garden, plugged in!
 
#20
There's a Swedish hot starter that doesn't require fluid or other stuff to start it. Use a hairdryer to get some airflow going if you want to speed things up and don't have the Swedish thing.

Probably be able to find it in your neck of the woods, but here's the thing on a Saffer site.

:: The Gadget Shop ::
 

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