Saddest/Dorkiest/Funniest/Worst Subbie ever?

Just looking for stories. Nothing too scathing please, just a little lighthearted commentary on the qualities of certain subbies we've all seen at some time or other.

Seriously, no character assassinations, please :).

My vote goes to a young chap in a Scottish Bn whom I never met in person; I was told, though, that he arrived from RMAS quasi-disabled and pretty much stayed that way throughout his entire, brief service. Sounded like a sorry tale to me, and a good way to kickstart the topic.
A young chap in the intake after me narrowly survived a road accident whilst at RMAS. He had been planning on going to a yorkshire regiment but decided to follow his late father into the (then) RCT. He had been completely unharmed in the accident, which involved a 3/4 ton LR, although everyone else got maimed in some attractive way. He semed as they say to be alright and commissioned into the RCT. The first time he got into a LR at his first posting however he literally freaked and went seriously in sectioned mad.

Why they were surprised I am not sure, I mean giving up a place in an infantry battalion to join the RCT...obviously a case for the trick cyclists. I believe he is back in society now but is still only allowed crayons.
me :cry: know as muo (most useless officer) until i spoke nepali :oops:
The young individual who asked a Rifle section NCO if he had to swear to motivate his section , during a bogged down attack.
The young TA potential subbie, who thankfully failed, who yelled 'Watch my tracer' for target indication in the heat of battle .... with blanks rounds and BFAs still fitted after 3 days in the field on final Ex!!!!
A young subbie who shall remain nameless - he is still serving - on NITAT during a public order serial involving a saxon, deployed his base line, nice and tight forward up against the front wheel arch, as you do, in a nice tight street. baseline are taking some shit with the plastic "bricks". Subbie then has a brain fart and, with out consulting any one else, deploys the wings of said saxon. DS then petrol bomb baseline......................You can guess the rest.
TWAM_Man said:
The young TA potential subbie, who thankfully failed, who yelled 'Watch my tracer' for target indication in the heat of battle .... with blanks rounds and BFAs still fitted after 3 days in the field on final Ex!!!!
That does work if you whip out a mini flare and pop it off in the right direction.

Tends to make the 'enemy' a tad skittish though i.e. watch for movement (the two en stamping out the burning babies heads to the front of their position if you were unable to land it in their position in which case you can watch what speed of 1000 gazelles REALLY means) :D

Might even get a well done from the DS. Either that or a kicking.

A sigs subbie at the OTC who on his final exercise fixed bayonets in order to charge through the fog and take the fight to the en screaming "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE!". Allegedly.

He was also pretty far up his own hoop writing a letter of complaint to the CO that it should be he and not the RSM doing the inspections at his Coy. :roll:
A TA officer who on his commisioning course took a fake (nuclear) IED as a prop for his 5 min talk then left it hidden for the cleaner in his room. How we laughed when we got told about his interview, he still passed. Another chap's mum rung up to tell them that her son had left his toothbrush at home...

My all time favorite though has to be a very posh guy I was at OTC with who on carrying out a command appointment for a platoon attack (under the watchful eyes of the PWRR) executed it flawlessly with lots of "That man there hurry up!" During the debrief the PWRR DS commented "You'll make a fine platoon commander sir once you've had your back doors blown in." to which the officer cadet laughed and then later asked me what he meant; "My golly good gosh, he didn't mean that did he??"
A story from another Bn related to me - I'm too scared of being 'outed'. :)

Young, sullen Corporal is a proud man. So, he's finding it rather tough asking for advice from a young subbie about debt issues. Especially because said Subbie and he do not get along very well.
Weeks pass until Corporal finally plucks up the courage and enters the PCs office. He sits down and relates the story to young Subbie, who apparently looks like that queer fellow from the Carry On movies and has a strange sense of humour.
Upon finishing his monologue about how his life is falling apart and he's too ashamed to tell the missus, Corporal looks at Subbie with an ashamed frown, expecting decent advice. The Subbie's response: "Tell someone who gives a fcuk".
Now, accounts vary, sometimes the Corporal just ups and leaves, sometimes he chases the Subbie all around the office and then camp. Sometimes the Subbie was in a hurry, sometimes he was just a prick.

Anyone else heard about this incident?
Talking about subbbies and NI training esp Public Order

I will never forget how with shock and shame I sat in the de-briefing room watching the last PO ex which went tiiits up. No-one knew how the civpop flanked us till we saw the young and (sorry to say it but its true) female troopy effectifly give the order "run away and hide". Not only did she break up the shield wall but hid with a few of her men in a houses back garden in full view of the CCTV while the rioters swarmed past. It was a disaster from start to finish, her lack of experience and gumpf (you know that get up and go x factor) combined with her being given the most spinless senior rank in the unit caused something I had never seen in my 4 trips to that cinema, a lack of laughing at the vid.

ON a lighter note, I also remember a certain subbie who decided to take his new girlfriend into camp, what he didn't know was she used to be the local bike till she married a jacket, oh what fun seeing her face when few acquntices popped over to say hi. I found it doubly amusing as I used to root her sister on a daily basis for a few months
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