S**T, the most functional word

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Scotch_Mist, Oct 21, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. This has probably been done before, but I have searched and not been able to find a link so here it goes! (anyone find a link please let me know)
    Subject: most functional word
    Well, it's shit...that's right, shit!
    Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

    You can get shit-faced,
    Be shit out of luck,
    or have shit for brains.

    With a little effort,
    you can get your shit together,
    Find a place for your shit, Or
    be asked to shit or get off the pot.

    You can smoke shit,
    buy shit,
    sell shit,
    lose shit,
    find shit,
    forget shit,
    and tell others to eat shit.

    Some people know their shit, while
    others can't tell the difference
    between Shit and Shineola.

    There are lucky shits,
    dumb shits,
    crazy shits,
    There is bull shit,
    horse shit and
    chicken shit.

    You can throw shit,
    sling shit,
    catch shit,
    shoot the shit,
    or duck when the shit hits the fan.

    You can give a shit or
    serve shit on a shingle.

    You can find yourself in deep shit
    or be happier than a pig in shit.
    Some days are colder than shit,
    some days are hotter than shit,
    and some days are just plain shitty.

    Some music sounds like shit,
    things can look like shit,
    and there are times when you feel like shit.

    You can have too much shit,
    not enough shit,
    the right shit,
    the wrong shit or
    a lot of weird shit.

    You can carry shit,
    have a mountain of shit, or find
    yourself up shit creek without a paddle.
    Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you
    fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

    When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

    And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!

    You could pass this along, if you give a shit. Or not do so,
    If you don't give a shit!

    Well, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do
    Give A Shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit happening to you.

    But if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit head........Well,
    shit happens!
  2. This sh1t should be put in the hole where it belongs.

  3. Sh1t? I thought the starred out word was sock! Well I never.