Russian 'intelligence' comedy of errors

To the tune of 'Happiness' by Ken Dodd

Bellingcat, Bellingcat,
On the GRU you've neatly shat
Would you all fancy that,
Vlad's been humbled by Bellingcat

Novichok in Salisbury,
They thought they'd get away scot free
But they'd not considered that
They'd be done in by Bellingcat

Half-arsed OPSEC on display
How did they think they'd get away?
Knowing the height of a cathedral spire
Can't hide that their tradecraft's dire

Bellingcat, Bellingcat,
On the GRU you've neatly shat
Would you all fancy that,
Vlad's been humbled by Bellingcat

FSB trolls and one con-spira-loon
Now feature in my happy tune
Their buying in to Russian lies
To arrsers comes as no surprise

Tin foil on their head,
Computing from their garden shed
Useful idiots
Coming up with British plots
To defend their hero,Vlad
Wow! He's great, he isn't bad
Skripal was poisoned by 'Six'
Why can't we see through their tricks
Russians all know about the steeple,
Don't laugh at them you silly people, but...

Bellingcat they can't explain
Their maskirovka's down the drain
They've been had bang to rights
The facile trolling little shites

Oh Bellingcat, Bellingcat
On Vlad's trolls you've neatly shat
Oh Bellingcat, we all thank you
For exposing the GRU

Oh Bellingcat, oh Bellingcat... (repeat to fade)
*Standing ovation*
 
When in Rome do as the Romans do.
In company with wolfs you have to learn how to howl.

As for the faces then distance between eyes is different, shapes of chins, noses are different. Distance between lips and bottom of chin is different.
“Petrov” has blunt, relatively wide chin, while “Mishkin” has rather pointed chin.
 
When in Rome do as the Romans do.
In company with wolfs you have to learn how to howl.

As for the faces then distance between eyes is different, shapes of chins, noses are different. Distance between lips and bottom of chin is different.
“Petrov” has blunt, relatively wide chin, while “Mishkin” has rather pointed chin.
But VERY importantly you wouldn't have the slightest idea what is true or not, as you are simply a private citizen with no knowledge of what happened, or whether any pics you show are remotely accurate.

As a private citizen of Russia and not a GRU or State employee your guesses or theories hold no more credibibility than any other person with zero connection to the state or GRU.

And, you have made it VERY clear that you are just a private citizen and not a state employee.

On a positive note, thanks very much for starting the sons and poems about this incident, that was a good idea of yours!
 
When in Rome do as the Romans do.
In company with wolfs you have to learn how to howl.

As for the faces then distance between eyes is different, shapes of chins, noses are different. Distance between lips and bottom of chin is different.
“Petrov” has blunt, relatively wide chin, while “Mishkin” has rather pointed chin.
I have available a fine piece of equipment that refutes your first claim.
It's called a "ruler".
When they're both measured ear to ear & that ratio is applied to the centre of their irises, then the difference is less than 1% which is nothing.
Mouths identical.
The nose, despite your lies to the contrary is identical.
Chins are identical in structure, though the older man is carrying more fat.
Distance between lips & chin is well within any reasonable margin of error.

You support the murder of little kids, their mothers & airline passengers, you vile thing.
 
I have available a fine piece of equipment that refutes your first claim.
It's called a "ruler".
When they're both measured ear to ear & that ratio is applied to the centre of their irises, then the difference is less than 1% which is nothing.
Mouths identical.
The nose, despite your lies to the contrary is identical.
Chins are identical in structure, though the older man is carrying more fat.
Distance between lips & chin is well within any reasonable margin of error.

You support the murder of little kids, their mothers & airline passengers, you vile thing.
You sir, have to much time on your hands.
 
You sir, have to much time on your hands.
I did the same thing, it was odd why one pic was quite blurred despite the fact it would have been taken in good light and at a set/fixed distance.

It's almost like someone tried to make the face appear different by softening the inner sections of the eyelids..........while completely forgetting to alter the ears even though the ear size, shape and relative height are also used to measure a face.

Of course, the whole post was totally pointless as the poster had already gone to great length to explain Russians look the same to non Russians!
 
Sure. It is "elfing". Agree with interlocuter, until he lost his temper. In fact, there are no "normal Russians" talking from British (or most of Unrussians) point of view. Russian can get fun, when he disagree with you, Russian can get fun when he agree with you, but he take your seriously only in very rare situations.
Is there any chance that you might eventually post something that makes sense?
Rather than a random selection of letters that mean wibble.
 
It's just 'struck' me as to why the GRU pair never made it to the cathedral.
It's worth noting Russians love a drink and that the home produced vodka can be a bit crude.

The cathedral bells in Salisbury ring the 'quarter hour' with a chime every fifteen minutes.
The pair could have been stumbling around Salisbury unable to locate to Cathedral as it is hidden and only viewable from the train station, town, local area, maps or with phone app direction apps etc.

They were wandering around lost when one of the pair heard the bell chime, he turns to the other and says 'ah, bells'. His oppo says 'good idea, let's hit a pub and sink a few bells them bump off the traitor'.
After too many 'bells' they couldn't find the cathedral, couldn't kill the Skripals and lost their NA.

In fairness, the above theory is no more made up or silly than our very own KGB residents idea that the Skripals were locked in a cellar with rats in.
 
But VERY importantly you wouldn't have the slightest idea what is true or not, as you are simply a private citizen with no knowledge of what happened, or whether any pics you show are remotely accurate.

As a private citizen of Russia and not a GRU or State employee your guesses or theories hold no more credibibility than any other person with zero connection to the state or GRU.

And, you have made it VERY clear that you are just a private citizen and not a state employee.

On a positive note, thanks very much for starting the sons and poems about this incident, that was a good idea of yours!
Ha! If anyone will tell you, that real murder of Skripals was Nessie, that was identified by a corrupted British witch-hunter (who sold that info to Russian independent journalists investigation group) as were-reptile and it's human image was identified as Russian Rear-Admiral Thomas MacKenzie (AKA Dounkan MacLeod), will you believe him? There are no need to be a secret agent or something to recognise an obviouse rubbish.
Belling-cat have a reputation of open liars, and their words means less than a forest noise. You see - even gulliable British government don't say that they trust them.
 
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Ha! If anyone will tell you, that real murder of Skripals was Nessie, that was identified by a corrupted British witch-hunter (who sold that info to Russian independent journalists investigation group) as were-reptile and it's human image was identified as Russian Rear-Admiral Thomas MacKenzie (AKA Dounkan MacLeod), will you believe him? There are no need to be secret agent or something to recognise an obviouse rubbish.
Belling-cat have a reputation of open liars, and their words means less than a forest noise. You see - even gulliable British government don't say that they trust them.

Wow. Try adding some water to it, comrade.
 
When in Rome do as the Romans do.
In company with wolfs you have to learn how to howl.

As for the faces then distance between eyes is different, shapes of chins, noses are different. Distance between lips and bottom of chin is different.
“Petrov” has blunt, relatively wide chin, while “Mishkin” has rather pointed chin.
Both of your faces look shite to me TBH Sergie....
 
When in Rome do as the Romans do.
In company with wolfs you have to learn how to howl.

As for the faces then distance between eyes is different, shapes of chins, noses are different. Distance between lips and bottom of chin is different.
“Petrov” has blunt, relatively wide chin, while “Mishkin” has rather pointed chin.

Don’t be thick. That’s obviously the same person. Are you blind?
 
Ha! If anyone will tell you, that real murder of Skripals was Nessie, that was identified by a corrupted British witch-hunter (who s
Belling-cat have a reputation of open liars, and their words means less than a forest noise. You see - even gulliable British government don't say that they trust them.
As it happens they don’t and the official U.K. line is that they ‘don’t dispute’ Bellingcat’s identification of the pair. Neither do Moscow. Which is diplomatic language for they’re exactly who Bellingcat say they are.
 

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