Russian 'intelligence' comedy of errors

Bellingcat, Bellingcat, where have you been?
In MI5 headquaters because I'm green
Bellingcat, Bellingcat, what did you there?
I attended lecture given by mr. Blair
To the tune of 'Happiness' by Ken Dodd

Bellingcat, Bellingcat,
On the GRU you've neatly shat
Would you all fancy that,
Vlad's been humbled by Bellingcat

Novichok in Salisbury,
They thought they'd get away scot free
But they'd not considered that
They'd be done in by Bellingcat

Half-arsed OPSEC on display
How did they think they'd get away?
Knowing the height of a cathedral spire
Can't hide that their tradecraft's dire

Bellingcat, Bellingcat,
On the GRU you've neatly shat
Would you all fancy that,
Vlad's been humbled by Bellingcat

FSB trolls and one con-spira-loon
Now feature in my happy tune
Their buying in to Russian lies
To arrsers comes as no surprise

Tin foil on their head,
Computing from their garden shed
Useful idiots
Coming up with British plots
To defend their hero,Vlad
Wow! He's great, he isn't bad
Skripal was poisoned by 'Six'
Why can't we see through their tricks
Russians all know about the steeple,
Don't laugh at them you silly people, but...

Bellingcat they can't explain
Their maskirovka's down the drain
They've been had bang to rights
The facile trolling little shites

Oh Bellingcat, Bellingcat
On Vlad's trolls you've neatly shat
Oh Bellingcat, we all thank you
For exposing the GRU

Oh Bellingcat, oh Bellingcat... (repeat to fade)
 
Not only Charlie could raise a civil claim for compensation but also Down's children and the Skripals.
1. It is not a big problem. There are charity funds and the Skripals are weathy people.
2. If government hides critically important information related to human rights then European Court for Human Right could decide that HMG should pay the compensations and HMG later could demand compesation from any country or/and organisation that it regards responsible.
3. see #2.
4. HMG could arrest property or money in British banks that belong to Russia.
Another utterly cynical attempt at diversion from a troll who couldn't care a flying **** about Dawn, Charlie, the Skripals, Nick Bailey, or anyone in Wiltshire whose lives and livings have been affected by this criminal episode. Busted flush.
 
Not only Charlie could raise a civil claim for compensation but also Down's children and the Skripals.
1. It is not a big problem. There are charity funds and the Skripals are weathy people.
2. If government hides critically important information related to human rights then European Court for Human Right could decide that HMG should pay the compensations and HMG later could demand compesation from any country or/and organisation that it regards responsible.
3. see #2.
4. HMG could arrest property or money in British banks that belong to Russia.
Hope that’s a typo there
Cock
 
Not only Charlie could raise a civil claim for compensation but also Down's children and the Skripals.
1. It is not a big problem. There are charity funds and the Skripals are weathy people.
2. If government hides critically important information related to human rights then European Court for Human Right could decide that HMG should pay the compensations and HMG later could demand compesation from any country or/and organisation that it regards responsible.
3. see #2.
4. HMG could arrest property or money in British banks that belong to Russia.
I've rarely read so much ill-informed bullshit, even from you.

1. Which charity funds will fund a private civil case?
2. Totally wrong. It is not a breach of human rights to keep evidence out of the public domain that could be used in a criminal prosecution, and whose release would prejudice that prosecution.
3. Indeed, see #2. Get in the real world
4. Not without creating a serious breach of international diplomatic treaties. I realise that such things mean nothing to Russians, but generally the British Government sticks to its international obligations.
 
To the tune of 'Happiness' by Ken Dodd

Bellingcat, Bellingcat,
On the GRU you've neatly shat
Would you all fancy that,
Vlad's been humbled by Bellingcat

Novichok in Salisbury,
They thought they'd get away scot free
But they'd not considered that
They'd be done in by Bellingcat

Half-arsed OPSEC on display
How did they think they'd get away?
Knowing the height of a cathedral spire
Can't hide that their tradecraft's dire

Bellingcat, Bellingcat,
On the GRU you've neatly shat
Would you all fancy that,
Vlad's been humbled by Bellingcat

FSB trolls and one con-spira-loon
Now feature in my happy tune
Their buying in to Russian lies
To arrsers comes as no surprise

Tin foil on their head,
Computing from their garden shed
Useful idiots
Coming up with British plots
To defend their hero,Vlad
Wow! He's great, he isn't bad
Skripal was poisoned by 'Six'
Why can't we see through their tricks
Russians all know about the steeple,
Don't laugh at them you silly people, but...

Bellingcat they can't explain
Their maskirovka's down the drain
They've been had bang to rights
The facile trolling little shites

Oh Bellingcat, Bellingcat
On Vlad's trolls you've neatly shat
Oh Bellingcat, we all thank you
For exposing the GRU

Oh Bellingcat, oh Bellingcat... (repeat to fade)

I had the well known Boney M song in my head (Ru is pronounced Roo)

Ra ra RasPUTIN.
Corruptor of the Ru Regime.
Ra ra RasPUTIN
Corruptor of the Ru Regime
HE slipped some poison onto the door
Ra ra Ras PUTIN, corruptor of the Ru regime.
His GRU are shockingly poor.
Ra ra RasPUTIN
Corruptor of the Ru Regime
Russia's biggest gayfest queen
Ra ra RasPUTIN
With his wife he's never seen.


Thanks for the inspiration @KGB resident, all of these songs making fun of Russia are all thanks to inspiration from you :)
 
Last edited:
Again the prosecution does not produce all evidence In the open. Its kept for trial - keep up FFS.

You would think a journelist would know that wouldn't you. Good English name she has
I think her surname is due to marraige and is not her maiden name.

I went to a discussion chaired by the BBC's Stephen Sackur which was put on after the Burning Doors play at the Soho Theatre. The play was powerful, edgy and about repression and protest.

www.belarusfreetheatre.com/productions/burningdoors/

Mary was on the panel together with Anne Applebaum and another fella who's name i've fogotten.

The follow on discussion was about Russia and the information war being played out. I forget the detail of the discussion but generally the feel amongst the panel and audience was Russia's actions were authorotarian, repressive and bullying. Except Mary Dejevsky's comments were counter to this and which struck me as being in the 'Russia is misunderstood' vein.
 
I had the well known Boney M song in my head:

Ra ra RasPUTIN.
Corruptor of the Ru Regime.
Ra ra RasPUTIN
Corruptor of the Ru Regime
HE slipped some poison onto the door
Ra ra Ras PUTIN, corruptor of the Ru regime.
His GRU are shockingly poor.

Thanks for the inspiration @KGB resident, all of these songs making fun of Russia are all thanks to inspiration from you :)
Made me chuckle because many moons ago when I worked in the FSU the Boney M version came on. Cue Cossack dancing and enthusiastic rhythmic clapping. Naturally I was getting into the spirit of it. At the end of the song and the impressive dancing one of the locals sidled up to me and said something like, ''Is a good song no? Is a rebel song yes? You like rebel songs yes?''

Caucuses 1999
 
I've rarely read so much ill-informed bullshit, even from you.

1. Which charity funds will fund a private civil case?
2. Totally wrong. It is not a breach of human rights to keep evidence out of the public domain that could be used in a criminal prosecution, and whose release would prejudice that prosecution.
3. Indeed, see #2. Get in the real world
4. Not without creating a serious breach of international diplomatic treaties. I realise that such things mean nothing to Russians, but generally the British Government sticks to its international obligations.
1.Charities that care about victims of crimes.
2.It is a matter for discussion. If HMG has irrefutable proof that Russian secret services are responsible for the death of Dawn, for damage to health of other victims and at the same time doesn't disclose the information then it affects lawful human rights of the victims and thus lawsuit to the ECHR is possible.
4. There was a precedent. Owner of Swiss firm Noga mr. Nessim Gaon demanded huge money from Russian government and some European countries followed the verdict of Swiss court. Russian property was subjected to arrest.
One man's multimillion-dollar legal battle threatens chaos in art world
For many years Nessim Gaon has been waging a legal campaign to get Moscow to repay a $70m loan for a grain-for-oil deal negotiated with his company in 1992. With interest, that loan has mushroomed to $900m.
 
1.Charities that care about victims of crimes.
2.It is a matter for discussion. If HMG has irrefutable proof that Russian secret services are responsible for the death of Dawn, for damage to health of other victims and at the same time doesn't disclose the information then it affects lawful human rights of the victims and thus lawsuit to the ECHR is possible.
4. There was a precedent. Owner of Swiss firm Noga mr. Nessim Gaon demanded huge money from Russian government and some European countries followed the verdict of Swiss court. Russian property was subjected to arrest.
One man's multimillion-dollar legal battle threatens chaos in art world
Utter, utter diversionary nonsense. Busted flush.
 
I've rarely read so much ill-informed bullshit, even from you.

1. Which charity funds will fund a private civil case?
2. Totally wrong. It is not a breach of human rights to keep evidence out of the public domain that could be used in a criminal prosecution, and whose release would prejudice that prosecution.
3. Indeed, see #2. Get in the real world
4. Not without creating a serious breach of international diplomatic treaties. I realise that such things mean nothing to Russians, but generally the British Government sticks to its international obligations.
Number 4 is actually a possibility and it’s been done before, as Sergey correctly points out. Far more likely that it’s aimed at individuals close to Putin though.
 
Bellingcat, Bellingcat, where have you been?
In MI5 headquaters because I'm green
Bellingcat, Bellingcat, what did you there?
I attended lecture given by mr. Blair
And what EXACTLY does this contribute?
It is a crap rhyme, doesn't make any sense, and suggests you are either really desperate or on drugs.

Stupid ,puerile, gibberish from a stupid puerile liar.
 
Just as normal Russians do..
Sure. It is "elfing". Agree with interlocuter, until he lost his temper. In fact, there are no "normal Russians" talking from British (or most of Unrussians) point of view. Russian can get fun, when he disagree with you, Russian can get fun when he agree with you, but he take your seriously only in very rare situations.
 

Latest Threads

Top