Russian army bans bikinis from beauty parade

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by KGB_resident, Jun 9, 2005.

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    Are bukinis banned in beauty competitions in British army too?
  2. I'm not sure if we have them...
  3. OldSnowy

    OldSnowy LE Moderator Book Reviewer

    This isn't a subtle advert for the 'RLC Dykes' thread, by any chance?
  4. Don't have beauty contests, our socialist/feminist types disapprove.

    Before I became a student of those great Russian artists Fedorov and Galitsin I thought all Russian women were hairy and muscular. Tell your General to grow up.
  5. Photos please?????

    or would that deem me as a perv!
  6. I think you're excused if so-and-so people ask also. Therefore, to help you, I also request photos.
  7. I want pics as well, but then I want more pics of mrslairdx as well, and I hope that does make me a perve.
  8. I don't think you'll find many 'sanctioned' bukinis competions in the British army.

    Does the Russian Army issue Bikinis? If they are banned from the competion do they just wear birthday suits?

    Only 19 in this competion?
  9. I don't think Bikini comps in our mil would work, we need more than a handful of good looking women. There are a few, and some of them are v nice, but the general populus....thats why baggy combat 95 works!

  10. Russia, being completely non-PC, has beauty pageants in nearly all branches of the armed forces, police and civil service departments. Those of you who have been to Russia will realise that this is not a joke - e.g. at the Moscow airports you will see the border-guard girlies tottering around in stillettos, miniskirts, red lipstick and very short uniform skirts. The last (current?) Miss Russia is a super-model lookalike who is also an FSB officer.....

    Difficult to see such an event taking place in any UK organisation....
  11. You are right. Oksana Fedorova - miss Universe-2002 is former police



    As to these 19 servicewomen then it is only final. Participants won local competitions. These five are among them


    I haven't heard about military bikinis but...

  12. RTFQ


    Can you honestly imagine this happening in the brit army? Picture, it - a catwalk surrounded by dozens of baying squaddies, that bloke off SSVC steps up, mike in hand:

    "Welcome to this year's British Army Babe competition, sponsored by Ginsters. With no further a do, let's meet Babe number one!"

    Out shuffles a confused looking QARANC with more chins than chromasones.
    She waves a podgy and slightly misshappen hand at a member of the audience: "Hi Davie". Davie goes red as all his mates laugh at him.

    Contestant No 2 follows. She's a RLC driver with a gippy eye and a 'tache. The last time anyone in her gene pool was deemed attractive was when Olaf Strongarm landed with his viking raiding party after 6 weeks at sea. She waves her fabloned biff-chit at the audience, two odd-looking girls who look like Abu Graib wardens wave back, look at each other, then start fighting. The Sgt Maj who tries to break them up is met with calls of: "fcuk off breeder!" from the coven of egg-shaped female soldiers watching the fight.

    No 3 is ushered on quickly as a distraction. Her greasy brown hair is tied back so hard that the skin of her face is warped and she looks like she's spent too long doing Mach 2 while suspended from the outboard underwing pylon of a Eurofighter. She's sporting the ever-so-professional-looking army pregnancy cardigan and she has the nominal roll of C Coy PWRR tatoo-ed over her heart.

    No 4 is actually quite pretty, but on crutches because of her shin splints, she gets halfway across the catwalk before collapsing theatrically from 'exhaustion' due to her complete lack of upper body strength. Luckily the army has assigned a LR to her as a permanent Jack Wagon and 4 fawning PTIs carry her to the vehicle whilst apologising for pushing her too hard.

    No 5 has simply turned up because she saw the line of contestants and misstook it for the naafi queue. As she's only 30 minutes late for stag she figured she might as well get a cheese and onion pasty on the way to the guardroom. Her 3-day-old coffee coloured hair is unkempt under a beret that could land a brace of chinooks and she's carrying her rifle with one finger hooked around the trigger guard. As she's the only one still presest that the MO can identify as a female with any degree of certainty, she wins. She ambles up to the 2 Star General who's presenting the prize (free boob job on the army) and says: "awright mate?" The Sgt Maj wispers harshly in her ear to correct her misstake and her whole body spasms in indignation: "why is EVERYONE on my case? Stop giving me evils....Sir"
  13. hahahaha.... spot on, RTFQ...... win a trip to Russia to be a judge on the forthcoming "Miss Moscow Metropolitan Transit Sytem" competition...... no, really, there is such a beauty pageant...!
  14. I want to live in Russia :roll:
  15. I've heard there is now a proposed law in Russia that will take away citizenship of a woman who marries a foreigner and moves out of Russia. It is said this has to be done because such women are diluting the Russian gene pool.

    Could this be true?