Russia to join NATO

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by londonirish, Aug 14, 2008.

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  1. I have put this in the Naafi, because I am only half serious but...

    What if the Russians could be persuaded to join NATO?

    Then they wouldn't have any promblems if their neighbours were also members. We could co opt most of the old USSR/CIS, and then get on with the job of fulfilling Orwells prophecies, albeit a quarter of a century late, and wait for the Chinks to attack.

    Then most of Africa and some of Latin America could join in on the Sino side, and we could sort out the lot of them/lose spectacularily.

    The war to end all wars.

    We could then get little Whassisname Joel Osment and Tom Cruise to teach us all about Vanilla Skies, and AI, etc etc, there's enough post apocapalyctic training out there guys, since most of us would be dead, and just crack on with the job in hand of being figments of our own imaginations.

    Which we are anyway if you are atall existentiallist.

  2. You've been at your avatar again haven't you?
  3. Been reading Tom Clancy novels?!
  4. Ha ha, no neither, although I am about to go down the pub....but seriously, if Ivan could be persuaded to join, then every one is on the same side, NATO rings the world from Londonderry to the Florida Keys, ( going east) and everyone else can feck off/do as they are told...
  5. This epicurian says you're a mentalist :wink:
  6. C'mon guys, we're talking about an alliance which rings the northern hemisphere, with the Aussies and the Kiwis stabbing up at the ASEAN nations' soft underbelly, get the Argies and the Chileans in aswell so that they can get rid of that nutter in Venezuela, we can invite all the world leaders to the renaming ceremony at Buckinham Palace, and just call it the erm... Empire.

    They'll all go for it, I am sure.

    Apart form the Irish (republic thereof), that can be the new Switzerland, which means lots of extra smuggling/squirreling away of money.

    The more you think about it, the more of a brilliant idea it is.

    I'll be in charge, it will be a wheeze, you'll see.
  7. I'm in.
  8. Nah, they'd only want to run it. They think they do everything else.
  9. What's the LOA for Siberia like? I'd love to see a Brit brigade posted to Vladivostok, travel warrants via Trans Siberian railway- a 5/6 day piss up all the way?
  10. Who the Ivans?

    Don't think so...after this recent debacle, if they can keep off the turps for a week, it'll dawn on them that

    a) no one will trust them from now on, and may well go elsewhere for oil and gas...and there is plenty still left elsewhere.

    b) they have a shrinking population, with no real exports, other than energy and some metals, which have been stolen off the population, so unless they are careful, history may repeat itself, and the peasants may revolt if the booze runs out.

    c) for the 26th year running, British A Level results have reached an all time high.

    They're doomed.

    They should join Nato...who'd object? Apart from the Chinese, I mean.
  11. Yet another reason why my idea holds water... on the trip to/from Catterick/Vladivostok they can teach us that funny Cossack dance, and we can teach them "Do You Know The Way To Amarillo", just so that we all blend in whilst in eachothers' countries.
  12. I think that's exactly why they SHOULD be allowed to join...afterall, ony a few years ago the Dutch were running around in Senne Lager in hair-nets (no duff) and even wimped out against the Serbs....Imagine if we'd all been on the same side.

    They probably view the Crazy Frog, and the X Factor contestants in the same context.

    Sure, some bloke jumps off a bit on the assault course and fires his AK, uselessly, for the camera, and sure that NCO has Russia's only tooth work, lovely veneers and crowns, but they seem to have some spirit.

    Mind you that two-badge idea... on the blue beret...where did they get that idea from?

    Do they think that Monty was in the AAC?
  13. Hmm..

    The phrase:

    "F*CK THAT SH*T" springs to mind...

    Seriously though, after these current hostilities...

    Can you amagine it when it came to Russia's turn to be the Security force...

    "Ah, hello there. I'm just placing my 13th army into several of the old Sovi Union... to protect our citizen's of course."
  14. Ah, but you miss the point Sirrah!...that's what they are doing now, but after they join NATO, inder my leadership or course, since they, we and the Georgians would all be on the same side, there would be no need for them to place their 113th Shock Army anywhere...just concentrate on getting ready for a Sino attack, ie stag on.