Running at the ring of pleasure

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Dashing_Chap, Nov 10, 2008.

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  1. Gentleman, my conscious feels quite strongly that I must inform you of my activities this weekend past, not as a means of boast or self compliment, but moreso for a feeling of surreal ambiguity that it could never have happened to me.

    I’m due to move to London very soon so I’m rather excited! However, I don’t actually know anyone in the city, a fair few of my old school chums work there, but strangely they aren’t too eager to hear from me again after all these years. :x I took to the idea of trying to make some contacts online prior to moving, as that way I would have a society to spend time with when I eventually arrive. Some of the young ladies are really quite exquisite & I arranged to meet one for the first time this Saturday, a petite brunette with blue eyes, a most accomplished young lady, quite vivacious!

    We went for a few drinks, I discovered that she was a law student & we spent our time discussing many fine things, from politics to reality & philosophy. Then by 1am she suggested that we head to a tacky club, I wasn’t too keen on the idea as I was still wearing my crombie & poppy & wasn’t really sporting the clubbing attire. I’d also just spent a small fortune for a deposit on a pad in town & explained to her that I wasn’t feeling too affluent, but she insisted & even paid my £7 entry.

    I didn’t bother to dance in the club as I was still somewhat sober, so I just stood by the bar as she pressed herself against me & manoeuvred her hips & thighs in rather an explicit manner, she also brought me a number of Budweisers & a shot of tequila. By this time I was beginning to feel quite guilty, not being used to spending a young lady’s money, so I offered to buy a few drinks myself, but she would not hear of it!

    Come 3am we left the club & I was ready for home after a charming night, by this time she had drunk herself into a stupor, had become quite brisk & was adamant that she should have her wicked way with me. I explained that I couldn’t spare a room as it would be rather bad form to spoil her at the family home & I daresay the same would go for hers, but before I could protest further she bundled me into a taxi & whisked me off to a hotel room :lol:

    I felt quite self conscious over the whole affair, certainly the taxi driver must have had some thoughts as I sat in the back seat of his cab with a drunken bint sprawled across my lap, she paid for the £12 fare too. We then entered the hotel & the chap at reception must have been equally enthralled as she paid for the £120 hotel room & the red wine room service…

    We ended up spilling the red wine all over the bed, up the wall & all over the floor during one of the more excessive moments, I may even have stuck it in her bum too, but I’m not sure as I was quite drunk by then, I remember her not being too keen to have it in that orifice.

    So in short, I’ve just had some random bint spend upwards of £200+ entertaining me & then shagging me 8O

    I remain in a state of shock! For me to have this sort of success with young ladies is quite unheard of. It certainly didn’t help that I had a family meal this Remembrance Sunday & I struggled to maintain an air of composed dignity, only 20 mins earlier I was dining on beef slices of a rather different kind.

    Does this sort of thing usually happen in London :?

    I have the honour to remain, &c.

  2. I looked at your avatar, your opening line and your last one and realised why I don't read The Spectator...
  3. It's strange that you should say that old boy as I'm also quite partial to the Torygraph, although I prefer to have a more liberal perspective for my own disgraceful behaviour. :wink:

  4. RHA or HCR? :wink:
  5. Neither I'm afraid, horse riding has quite an undesirable effect on my more delicate areas!

  6. 'This officer boy is my kind of scum' to paraphrase Jabba the Hutt. Take me out to Claridges and it'll be just like Eliza Doolittle and the bloke with the floppy hair. :wink:
  7. DC you need help, how you ever got your leg over I'll never be able to work out
  8. cbgramc - Whisper it quietly but it's because of blokes like me hanging out in the bogs in Leicester Square :wink:
  9. 120quid for a hotel room? must have been a sh1thole, especially in central london.

    law STUDENT spending 200quid to get a shag - she is a female, therefore she does not need to spend money to get a shag as she could have got a shag off anyone.
    if you have your so called poshness about you then she would have made an attempt to fleece you in the thought that you were loaded, even though you said you were skint
    you cannot afford 7quid for a nightclub?

    something smells a little fishy and i am not talking about the contents of baldricks applecrumble.

    DC - go back to bed son, and finish off your wet dream. come and play with the big boys when you grow a few hairs!!
  10. MM as long as you want to spend £200 on him fill your boots or what every else takes your fancy mate, it leaves more burds for me :)
  11. The boys in Valperiso Bay still cost 5 times less but you can't account for class :wink:
  12. I think this line sums up the hole story. MM does it hurt forcing yourself to be so camp?
  13. Not since I fell in love with you, sweetcheeks. This is just like being in the RFA circa 1942!! :wink:
  14. Sorry mate not my type, I know you will be heart broken but I was never confused.
  15. I don’t believe I said it was central London… But I assure you sir of the veracity of my story.

    That’s the second time I’ve spilt red wine everywhere whilst engaged in obscene acts, I remember one time I was porking a young history student in the canine fashion, when all of a sudden her very own little dog ran in, spilt red wine over both of us & started busily licking my ricker, which might I add, felt marvelous! :) In the same instant my phone rang & without thinking I answered it to my dear sister.

    For some reason I haven’t seen the girl since. :cry: