Rules for entry to UK

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by fizzgig, Oct 27, 2009.

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  1. I don't want to sound racist or in any way politically motivated here but my contribution to another thread tonight made me stop and think.

    If we, as tourists enter another country, we are expected for the duration of our stay, to abide by the law-of-the-land ie: certain arabic states = NO BOOZE etc and I thought I'd (potentially/hypothetically) turn the tide a bit.

    If you had the power to help HM Customs and Excise to compile a list of between twenty and thirty rules that (long or short term) visitors were expected to abide by ..... What would the rules be?

    These rules would be displayed at entry points to the UK and those reading them would have to make a choice. Either agree and COME-ON-IN or know where you stand, not like it, and F75k-off again.

    For example -
    Rule No' 1. Shops shut on Sunday and half-day on Wednesday

    Off you go :)
  2. - Remember where you come from and after your 'holiday' f%£^ off back there!
    - Those who forget how long their 'holiday' is meant to last will be beheaded.
    - Think about having sex with a british girl and your c0$k will get chopped off
    finally - don't even think about adopting innocent little kittens as a ploy to stay and claim benefits while getting paid to wash cars you scum!
  3. Bless you my child - That's the spirit! Nothing too serious just light-hearted banter to throw a few ideas around :twisted:
  4. everyone must bring some of those syrup waffles you get from Schipol

    Bring some good fecking weather
  5. ancienturion

    ancienturion LE Book Reviewer

    Hand over £10,000 as a deposit to cover any possible medical treatment and the fare to return home. Any balance will be refunded once you reach your original point of departure.
  6. #1 must not be a raghead

    #2 must not be a raghead

    #3 open to anyone* as long as you dont steal from the economy

    #4 if you claim any sort of benefit for more than 1 month you get kicked out no questions asked

    *bar ragheads
  7. UK PLC has the right to refuse admission to all scousers returning from their holidays.
  8. Can not approve of the term rag-head! Are we not all equal under the constant gaze of God, Allah and Jimmy Saville??

    Just simply suggest some rules by which our "non-native" visitors may be expected to live by........ OR F&%K OFF HOME AGAIN :)
  9. Rule 2 - If you put Gravy on your Chips you will be shot.
  10. Waahhhh!!

    Gravy on chips is what kids are to fritzl!! If anything pleaseeee ban curry sauce on chips!
  11. TEN OUT OF TEN!! You've just single-handedly wiped out the tourist trade for Blackpool
  12. Rules for entry? Thought there was only one:


    1. There are no rules.
  13. ... and a bottle of apfelkorn
  14. BrunoNoMedals

    BrunoNoMedals LE Reviewer

    You're both fucking heathens. Gravy, chips, mayo, salad cream. It's all supreme to me.
  15. I prefer ketchup on mine.

    ..and mayo with chicken, and definitely brown sauce on bacon sarnies