Rules for entry to UK

I don't want to sound racist or in any way politically motivated here but my contribution to another thread tonight made me stop and think.

If we, as tourists enter another country, we are expected for the duration of our stay, to abide by the law-of-the-land ie: certain arabic states = NO BOOZE etc and I thought I'd (potentially/hypothetically) turn the tide a bit.

If you had the power to help HM Customs and Excise to compile a list of between twenty and thirty rules that (long or short term) visitors were expected to abide by ..... What would the rules be?

These rules would be displayed at entry points to the UK and those reading them would have to make a choice. Either agree and COME-ON-IN or know where you stand, not like it, and F75k-off again.

For example -
Rule No' 1. Shops shut on Sunday and half-day on Wednesday

Off you go :)
- Remember where you come from and after your 'holiday' f%£^ off back there!
- Those who forget how long their 'holiday' is meant to last will be beheaded.
- Think about having sex with a british girl and your c0$k will get chopped off
finally - don't even think about adopting innocent little kittens as a ploy to stay and claim benefits while getting paid to wash cars you scum!
Bless you my child - That's the spirit! Nothing too serious just light-hearted banter to throw a few ideas around :twisted:
everyone must bring some of those syrup waffles you get from Schipol

Bring some good fecking weather


Book Reviewer
Hand over £10,000 as a deposit to cover any possible medical treatment and the fare to return home. Any balance will be refunded once you reach your original point of departure.
#1 must not be a raghead

#2 must not be a raghead

#3 open to anyone* as long as you dont steal from the economy

#4 if you claim any sort of benefit for more than 1 month you get kicked out no questions asked

*bar ragheads
UK PLC has the right to refuse admission to all scousers returning from their holidays.
Can not approve of the term rag-head! Are we not all equal under the constant gaze of God, Allah and Jimmy Saville??

Just simply suggest some rules by which our "non-native" visitors may be expected to live by........ OR F&%K OFF HOME AGAIN :)
TEN OUT OF TEN!! You've just single-handedly wiped out the tourist trade for Blackpool
Rules for entry? Thought there was only one:


1. There are no rules.
BornSlippy said:
Track_Link said:
Rule 2 - If you put Gravy on your Chips you will be shot.

Gravy on chips is what kids are to fritzl!! If anything pleaseeee ban curry sauce on chips!
You're both fucking heathens. Gravy, chips, mayo, salad cream. It's all supreme to me.
JesterRIP said:
I prefer ketchup on mine.

..and mayo with chicken, and definitely brown sauce on bacon sarnies
Mayo and mushy peas.

Rules for entry to the UK.

1. Don't fcuking come in the first place

Think about having sex with a british girl and your c0$k will get chopped off
Whilst I admire your patriotism, it is quite amusing to see the satisfied smug face of a 17 year old white girl as she wanders around with her shiny trousered Turkish/Pakistani boyfriend, then to catch her again a year or two down the line, emaciated, punched to f*ck with an underfed toddler in tow....All white girls should at least, once in their life be f*cked in a white Mazda just off an industrial estate by an arab or two whilst their mates watch as they pass a joint round....Did my sisters pal the world of good
Lonza said:
On entry to UK all persons should be offered a bacon sarnie and a pint of beer......if you refuse either, you're out! :wink:
Sounds a good one to me Lonza, that should keep out quite a lot of the wanckers from Johnnie Foreign Land.
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