My wife loves to go out for an Indian, she really fancies herself as an Indian curry expert. Anyway, one night we stayed in and I cooked a curry for her, after bragging that I could make a better job of it than the robbing Asian bastards down the road. She took one forkful, grimaced & chugged a full glass of Kingfisher. "Have you wanked in this?" she asked. "No of course not," I replied quite outraged. "OK", she said, "Apart from that one omission, not a bad first attempt"