RTFQs Fighting order

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Mighty_doh_nut, Dec 9, 2005.

Welcome to the Army Rumour Service, ARRSE

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial military website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. [​IMG]

    Footstool MkIII


    Stilts man portable


    Grecian 2000, for disgiising those ginger moments, when in the company of adults.


    Back up spectacles

    Anyone else had a glimpse inside RTFQs webbing?
  2. Instead of a first aid flashcard he carries this

  3. RTFQ


    Well, my mum reckons I look like Tom Cruise :cry:
  4. She was getting confused with Tom Thumb :D
  5. Stop it the lot of ya! Thanks a lot, now next time I read about one of RTFQ's exploits all I'll be able to think about is a little gwar midget. Thanks a bunch.
  6. Time to taste the coffe though mate. Your mum fell pregnant to a Jack Russell so her opinion is a little clouded.

    Through her eyes she saw Chris Evans pounding away at her salmon pit :D


    :D :D :D :D :D
  7. RTFQ


    There's a line, mouth, and you just crossed it. Bestiality, dwarfism and Nicknackery are fine, but no man insinuates that my dear old mum would sh@g a ginger, especially that loathsome cnut, and walks.

  8. I also heard rumour that your gnashers look like a set of kicked in fridge doors.

    Well, not entirely a rumour, Oz told Cait and Cait told me, but in fairness to Oz, he did ask us not to say anything. So I won't :D :D
  9. [​IMG]

    :D :D :D

    Aaaaw poor Wookie, if you need a cuddle give me a shout, I know the chap that drives the miniature railway on the fairground, you'd be able to get your head on his shoulders
  10. RTFQ


    So, let me get this straight - I'm being insulted by some blank-firing ne'erdowell from the pikey side of Offa's Dyke, who is fixated on a woman half his age - and he has to make her laugh in the forlorn hope of getting her to forgo her family, standards, self-worth and all the rules of evolution so she can take a step down the food chain and bone some ugly misfit with jeremy beadle hands.

    NOT only that, but some podgy failed cav officer is now getting in on the action too.

    Chr1st, my manhood feels so threatened...what if all those women were lying, maybe they were just after my money after all. I've been shown the light by two simpletons. Allelujah, pass me the brunette.

    You can do better. Even if I was a ginger, you'd still be my sorry b1tches hanging off my next retort for ideas, and i'd still be having a lot of fun while you shop at home depot for bog roll holders. :D
  11. Calm down Mr Edd, don't let the syndrome creep over the collar of your C&A shirt.

    We'll send a vet round to de-plague your gnashers and fluff your pillows.

    When you bite you really do bite..... glad I'm not in the room, I'd be caked in slavver :D
  12. RTFQ


    Fluff my what? 8O
  13. Pillows, Ladies have them in thier bedrooms, probably why your unfamiliar :D
  14. woopert

    woopert LE Moderator

    Last time I was in the Corps mess the Regt Col told me ... either that RTFQ is as broke as Elton John's sphincter or he's hoarding his money by developing short arms and deep pockets every time he's near the bar

  15. RTFQ


    Who's fecking looking at the furniture? As you correctly stated elsewhere, I'm too busy pointing at their chebs and going "booooobieeees"