Royal Marine surrender kit

One Page of the 4 pages of Questions below (Looney, you are not behind this cunning item are you? 8) ):-

Question & Answer Answered On
Q: Being ex of the mighty third Bat Para Regt and a Falklands vet now in Iraq past 4 years, got to say TOP! Well done, Airborne. Dom G. 02-May-07
A: cheers airborne! had a shower lately?
Q: Hi I'm nore of a boaty myself. Any idea where I can pick up a cheap RIB and some life jackets, and a GPS......oh..and if the marine band radios don't work too well thats no problem. 02-May-07
A: you might want to try the iranian embassy in london they might be able to point you in the right direction, as long as the ambassador is`nt female!
Q: I am very interested in purchasing the items for historical value only, but what guarantee can you give that the value of 7 – 8£ would not decrease to say 2p as MANY more of the same items may be sold, due to another similar scenario ? (HJ) 02-May-07
A: there is a strong possibility this might happen with there track record, however the market is strong at the moment and i can only see the value rising in the near future! unless the marines pull it out of the bag in the next 8 days.
Q: Would you know of anyone who would be willing to lay on a training course that covers the use of this kit? Not a bootneck so just wondering if the kit is self explanary? I would be willing to pay. Not financially but I can swipe my wife's ipod to trade in for the instructors time and effort. 02-May-07
A: well im running a Marine Surrender course this week end but im fully booked up with marines, however there is another course the following weekend, i will send you the joining instruction asap.
Q: Can you possibly supply bulk orders and would there be a discount? I know that many of my Marine co-workers would love to get there hands on the genuine article instead of making up there own, do you think you could possibly include an orange boiler suit for those Marines working in private security in Iraq? Just a thought. 02-May-07
A: i`ll see what i can do!
Q: I see you have for sale the current middle East issue surrender kit. As a keen re-enactor I am looking for a marine Falklands surrender kit, any ideas where to get one from from? or are all marine surrender kits a standard issue 02-May-07
A: i think you will find they are standard issue these days, however since the falklands the white flag has got bigger to enable the enemy to see the surrender from at least a K away!
A: sorry but these items are after market extras provided by the iranians!
Q: you dont know where i could buy 15 rifles, never fired, only dropped once. your's faithfully from the 99% who didn't apply 02-May-07
A: im sure the iranians have some knocking about some where, also a couple of rigid raiders too im led to believe!
Q: can i have a new suit with my order??but would like to know if its "one size fits all" 02-May-07
A: they fit even the largest of sailers!
Q: Brilliant. You must be a Royal yourself then. I could tell by the childlike spelling mistakes and exceptionally bad grammar! 02-May-07
A: meat & veg all the way!
Q: Hi, I dont suppose you have got one of those a Para sex change kits available. :) 02-May-07
A: sold out, maybe we should let women join the paras like the marines have!
Q: Fantastic but does it come with the CD of Ottawan.. "hands up", so that the Mr Bean Dickie puller can play it on his I Pod whilst patroling our waters? Del Ex 2 para. 02-May-07
A: i believe it does!
Q: Does the kit come with 40 fags and a lighter as seen on TV? 02-May-07
A: unlike the marines the lighter is guaranteed to fire!
Q: Hi, I recently bought a set of underpants from the first mate of the SS Napoli, following the recent beaching disaster, and have had many copies made in China (skid marks and everything!). If interested, I could supply these at cost in the interests of national security to add substance to your pack. 02-May-07
A: i`ll take 15!
Q: I see the QM for the RM's has been intouch, its unfair that he is in the bidding as he got a load of cash for selling them boats to Iran in the first place. I think he should be struck off the bidding list. 02-May-07
A: fair point i will look into it!
Q: Do you have any exercise tips to strengthen my arms, so i will be alble to keep them up for longer periods. Plus if i pay a little more could you throw in the surrender phrase book in Arabic for me. Yours Royal Hat RM 02-May-07
A: keep up with the rope work and im sure you will be ok :) signed the 1 para stig!
Q: Welldone, blackop. keep up the good work. funny 02-May-07
A: pleasure is all mine!
Q: Does the version of this pouch for female sailors include nail varnish and a post surrender headscarf? 02-May-07
A: indeed it does!
Q: Really upset you are not prepaired to send them out here to the middle east. After all all our Hat friends my want them now they are out on general release. AB Day 22nd 23rd Sept Arnhem, no such kits required only real men apply. 02-May-07
A: roger that airborne!
Q: Will you be supplying a Spanish translation of the surrender document - just in case the Royals miss Gibraltar again and need to surrender to a Spanish fisherman? 02-May-07
A: enemy forces world wide recognise the famous hands up from the green berets, this makes any translation redundant other wise i would have to make iraqi, afghan, argentine, and spanish translations, this would in turn make the kit heavier to carry and as it took them 4 weeks to relieve us in sierra leone, best to keep the weight down!
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It gets better and better. P!ssing myself.


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On the same sort of lines;


looney said:
Top post by that 'Bergen'
Good read...
You are not wrong there! piss take aside, the Booties are in a War out there and Giving it Large... Good on em - I wouldn't want to be Blackoperation waitng near Leeds for the arrival of 50 Bootnecks turning up to 'collect' that 3 Piece Suite 8O

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