Royal Marine Kisses bloke on TV!

Discussion in 'Current Affairs, News and Analysis' started by El_Pato, Oct 31, 2003.

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  1. He/she/it is quite fit-looking in comparison with some of the shims that you could encounter down Bugis Street.

    "You buy me drink, John?"
    "Never happen!"

    :D
     
  2. Last time I looked Bugis street was a 1990s low rise retail development with building societies, sandwich shops, footwear outlets, 4 NCPs and a couple of Irish Bars

    :wink:
     
  3. thats nothing i heard a true story ,

    a coachload of rugby players were going along an A road when a pretty girl thumbed a lift , they picked her up ,no worries there, she said " i will give all of you gorgeous lad a blow job for £5 each" . they all agreed to that , so she blows them all off until she arrives at her destination , when she waves the lads goodbye , she took her wigs off and revealed that she is a man ! the horrified look on themens face as the coach pulled away ,would have been a picture :lol:
     
  4. http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2003502723,00.html

    Can you tell? ... female or shemale

    SKY One chiefs have postponed plans to screen a reality show where six lads are fooled into trying to bed a transsexual.

    There’s Something About Miriam, which was due to air on November 16, will be held over until a legal dispute with the furious men is settled.

    Last night one of the men was identified as a crack Commando in his 20s. He was among the first UK troops into Iraq in March and was injured in the fighting.

    An Army insider said: “It is all rather embarrassing for him. He will get more than his fair share of barracking from the lads. It will take some time for him to live this down.”

    Another is a champion kickboxer — and pals say he is fuming after he desperately tried to bed Miriam on the show — before discovering she was born a man and still has her family jewels intact.

    Now he and the five other hapless lads are planning to sue the show’s bosses. A friend told The Sun: “He was disgusted when he learnt Miriam is still a man. He wanted to slap or kick her, but was in total shock. Most of the lads had snogged Miriam and some had even felt her boobs.”

    In the show, the guys are filmed 24-hours-a-day as they compete for Miriam’s affections during a two-week stay in an Ibiza villa.

    When Miriam finally picks the winner, she lifts her skirt to reveal a full set of wedding tackle

    Every red-blooded male will understand their fury — it is every bloke’s worst nightmare.

    But there are a few simple tests the fellas could have used to check out Miriam’s credentials down below.

    So below is our light-hearted guide to spotting a shemale.

    If only those six lads had been able to read it, Miriam’s secret would have stuck out a mile . . .

    Do you know any of the lads involved – or Miriam? Call us on 0207 782 4105.

    Tell-male signs
    1
    Always look at the hands. If she’s got knuckles like Henry Cooper’s, with more dirt under her nails than a pig farmer, then give her a wide berth.

    2
    Watch her undo her bra strap. If she fumbles about for five minutes then asks you to do it, then she’s got a willy.

    3
    Check her Adam’s apple — another telltale sign. A husky voice like Barry White with laryngitis? Give her a miss.

    4
    Hand her the car keys and ask her to parallel park. If she scrapes your wheel trims all down the kerb then bursts into tears, you’ve got a girl.

    5
    Ask her to explain soccer’s offside rule. If she says: “I’ve no idea but hasn’t Becks got lovely legs?” — she’s female.

    6
    She might have a shapely figure but if she has knees like wrestler Mick McManus be afraid, be very afraid.

    7
    Send her to a supermarket. If she comes back with a crate of Continental lager, some pizzas and a set of novelty fridge magnets, then she was born a bloke.

    8
    Ask her who Manolo Blahnik is. If she thinks he might play for Real Madrid, it’s a bloke. But if she says he’s a shoe designer, you’ve got the real thing.

    9
    Leave the loo seat up. If she daintily leaves it down after use, it’s a woman. If the toilet looks like someone has just installed a sprinkler system, then she’s still got her meat and veg.

    10
    Suggest a shopping trip at 4.45pm on a Saturday afternoon. If she dashes to the nearest boozer to catch the final scores, you’ve got a bloke on your hands.

    11
    Show her a picture of Jodie Marsh. If she says: “What a talentless nobody”, she’s a lady. But if she says: “Well, you would after a few jars on Saturday night”, she’s a man.

    12
    Take her to the cinema and let her choose the film. If she goes for something starring Arnold Schwarzenegger or Steven Seagal with car chases and shoot-ups, then check for an undercarriage. But if she plumps for the latest soppy Hugh Grant flick, she is female.

    13
    Provoke an argument. If she continues to butt in and insists on the last word then she is a woman.

    14
    Finally, if she insists that size doesn’t matter, then she is DEFINITELY a bloke.
     
  5. The personalities of Bugis Street, have relocated to Orchard Towers in Downtown Singapore.

    Spam baby sailors and Marines are often caught out, and end up with more than they bargained for. British Sailors and Marines know that oriental women are not that tall.

    The old and bold say that the ugly ones are the real women. :wink:
     
  6. Tell-male signs

    5
    Ask her to explain soccer’s offside rule. If she says: “I’ve no idea but hasn’t Becks got lovely legs?” — she’s female. (or a gay bloke)

    8
    Ask her who Manolo Blahnik is. If she thinks he might play for Real Madrid, it’s a bloke. But if she says he’s a shoe designer, you’ve got the real thing. (or a gay bloke)

    10
    Suggest a shopping trip at 4.45pm on a Saturday afternoon. If she dashes to the nearest boozer to catch the final scores, you’ve got a bloke on your hands. (or a gay bloke)

    11
    Show her a picture of Jodie Marsh. If she says: “What a talentless nobody”, she’s a lady (or a gay bloke). But if she says: “Well, you would after a few jars on Saturday night”, she’s a man.

    12
    Take her to the cinema and let her choose the film. If she goes for something starring Arnold Schwarzenegger or Steven Seagal with car chases and shoot-ups, then check for an undercarriage. But if she plumps for the latest soppy Hugh Grant flick, she is female. (or a gay bloke)


    few flaws there hmmm
     
  7. 14. Hand her a map and ask her to identify her location - if she gets it right, he's a chap - if she's a bird she'll take over three minutes to unfold it.
     
  8. 15. Or just think "sod it, I've paid for it's drinks all night so in for a penny...."
     
  9. well the lads did ask for it :lol: jumping in without thinking