Royal Engineers

Discussion in 'Armed Forces Jokes' started by LazyCaretaker, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED
    We are still pissing in the wind.

    EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM
    We just hired three kids fresh out of college.

    CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION
    We know who to blame.

    MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH
    It works OK, but looks very hitech.

    CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED
    We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.

    PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE
    The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch

    TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING
    We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.

    THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED
    The only person who understood the thing quit.

    IT IS IN THE PROCESS
    It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.

    WE WILL LOOK INTO IT
    Forget it! We have enough problems for now.

    PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL
    Let's spread the responsibility for the screw up.

    GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING
    We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.

    GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION
    I can't wait to hear this bull!

    SEE ME or LET'S DISCUSS
    Come into my office, I'm lonely.

    ALL NEW
    Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.

    RUGGED
    Too damn heavy to lift!

    LIGHTWEIGHT
    Lighter than RUGGED.

    YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT
    One finally worked.

    ENERGY SAVING
    Achieved when the power switch is off.

    LOW MAINTENANCE
    Impossible to fix if broken
     
  2. 8O A bit harsh on the RE`S but still very funny :D :D