Rough Boozers


I enjoy visiting rough pubs, it's a small vice of mine in a Martin Amis kind of way. The smell of high-tar ciggies, chip-fat and beer-sodden carpet, the inane jangle of fruit machines, the complex cicada-like-rhythms of football commentary and jukebox muzak...luvverly. And that's before we even begin to discuss the punters.

A few months ago I was watching some Sky One prgramme about "Britain's Toughest Pubs" or something (the late Pegasus in Aldershot, discussed passim in the NAAFI was featured) and realised that I had visited, in anthropological mode, several of the southeastern establishments mentioned and was delighted to see that somebody else recognised these socio-cultural gems for what they were.

So, friends, nominations please, for your roughest boozers and why. They can be anywhere in the world, historical or current, but a brief flavour of clientele, drinks, decor and atmosphere would be much appreciated. You may nominate any pub, club or drinking establishment open to the general public, tales of derring do in the Beefsteak, In-and-Out and The Groucho have no place in this thread!

Well that cancels out all the so called drinking establishment south of Watford gap doesn't it? We have bloody tougher Pizza Huts.
Anywhere down botchergate, Carlisle.

Sherries in Barnstaple

Beehive, Sunderland

There was a bar in Jerusalem where the clientele were either Westerners or Israeli kids doing their national service... it wasn't that rough but there was a 'danger' element.
Imagine 50+ plus pi$$ed up guys and girls with their M16 and Uzis slung over their shoulder while on the dance floor!
I missed the time when one bint dropped her Uzi and had a 'spinning' ND...apparently it was like a catherine wheel on the dance floor (I questioned it too!). But I did see blokes dancing to a Guns n' Roses song and one lyric was "throw your guns to the floor" they did!! :evil: :roll:
I did have a laugh when I nicked one weapon from a pile... one group had piled them up in a neat stack and buggered off for a bop... so I walked off with one - I gave it back at the end of the night when I saw the guy in tears, saying how he was going to do a year in the nick for losing it! I was trying to help him, in my own little way! :lol:
But apart from the <rap discipline from the crazy conscripts, the fact the place was an obvious target for the local PLO mob (who I played pool with), the occasional stabbing, the Irish "builders" on holiday and the tooled up doorman... it was a great bar that did FREE beer for 20 minutes every night!!! Oh yes!!!! I managed 8 pints in that period (what a poof!) ...the record was 12 pints by a huge Icelandic nutter!
Brigg ,North Lincs! An amazing mecca for ex squaddies and contractors, must admit the good old arsing about has finished however as reported by the paper loved by all (sic) the town is bequeathed with the award of..... as having the most pubs per head in the whole of Great Britain! , this was a few years ago but however still an awesome claim. Notable dives being......... The Woolpack, The Dying Gladiator, The Brocklesby Ox, Nelthorpe Arms (Scanlons) and The Britannia, The Brit isn't actually a dive but all the local goth kids go in dressed like Marilyn Manson as such, annoying and stinks of patchouli oil!
Anywhere in Mansfield after 9 pm. Fort Apache !
The Blue Oyster Bar on River Street. No ice in the strawberry wine coolers!! Now thats rough.
Pembrook Shades, eastcliff Bournemouth. Long since gone.
Only went in there once and lived in Bournemouth all my life..................................Felt safer bying a copy of An Phoblacht in west Belfast dressed green, not that I did, but you get the point I hope.
The Nelson (formaly The Ben Trueman) in Stanhope Ashford. Smack in the middle of a dodgy estate. Used to be owned by 2 ex profesional wrestlers. One of them threw a punter through a window for buying a bra for him one xmas as a joke. One of them boozers that just looking at the outside of it makes you think long & hard about entering. Thats if you can get past the dozen or so pit bulls & other assorted land sharks chained up outside the door.

Dodgy boozers, I mean real dives:

Zur Jägerhütte, Steglitz, Berlin: Chocka with ho's, their pimps and minders. Eyes to the ground and don't nudge anybody. Many suspicious lumps on hips and under armpits.
Zemm Schlüuch, Kleinbasel, Basel: Same basic clientele, but enhanced by Mafia drug dealers and their gorillas, all tooled up. Don't ask for a Diet Coke! (It's what the Old Bill drink).
Pourqoi pas?, Dockside, Marseilles: Srteemly dodgy place, especially the bogs. More blades than a fencing tournament.
Posto di Gino, Bari: Only to be entered well tooled up and in sufficient numbers (at least ten strong for a fighting retreat.)

Rockers on a friday nite,early 70s,raffled off abo girls.
Mombassa - Sunshine Club, 77, had to avoid brushing the knife in the masai's warroirs waist.He was leaving,as I was entering,tiger skin minis soon make one forget.
New Jolo bar - Subic, .....walked up the stairs,to quench,tripped over a pair going hard at it,nude,looked around and full bore h/jbs under the table.
Yous pommies cnuts missed the best run.
Any hms ship crew been to Subic.
First post on ARRSE ,incoming
The local town outside of thorney island, bloody hell, it was a local town for local people and they didnt half look upset to see us their, there was one particular pub cant remember the name of the place but it stank of an indescribably smell, had old locals walking round in mesh vests Rab C Nesbit sylee, and the lager smelled like an unwashed cock.
The all time winner of the grubbiest pub has to go to The Creagorry in the Hebs, the gents floor is 4 inches lower than the rest of the place and the trough was always blocked hence a full room sized urinal, you just stood at the door lol
The queens hotel in Newport (welsh wales one) - one of the bars was known as "God's waiting room" due to the age of the clientele (the beer was also cheap) - on the surface, this would not make it a candidate as a rough joint - but they only used to use plastic glasses and wouldnt hand out bottles so as the crusty old welsh coffin dodgers couldnt use them as weapons - i kid u not.
cdo_gunner said:
The whole of union street in Plymouth.

I remember being in a a paticulary HUGE scrap in " BOOBS" one night. Must of been 100+ blokes knocking 10 bells out of each other. Never did find out what started it. Good sreet tho !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Regards LT.

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