Us tolerant types don't get usually upset over the odd loony in the family, the irritating relative or even the wife's cat. I'll even cook for them, as long as they piss off home afterwards instead of creasing up the sofas, blocking the bog and hogging my space. Got any rotten relatives? Here's one: Hellboy. The wife's son, sixteen, fat and foul. Hasten to add he was taken away while I was in AFGN, due to some fetish for his Mum's clothes and scaring the cat. That's right, he put(s) them on. Fair enough he's a bit short on ability so let's be fair. But his "statement" and GP are pretty confident he's ninety per cent normal. Is this normal? Would you feel a bit iffy about the wife if you thought he'd had her clothes on, webbing and all? Since he's gone, away, confession time in the hope that terrible memories will fade. What memories? For starters there's the poo, that's what . Great big elephantine dumps that wouldn't go down, so they had to be shovelled into black sacks for the Binmen. Nice, a pile of shitsacks in the wheelies to be collected in two weeks. Or when he left the door open so the dog got run over. Emptied, no , fucking ate, the fridge. Swiped the aftershave, re-arranged the kitchen every day, knocked holes in his bedroom walls and painted it black. But he's gone now, we don't have to huddle in one bedroom and the dog's come off the Valium. Some of you might beat all that but I doubt it.