Romance - Your Songs

#1
Ok the title is slightly misleading, but bear with me.

You know when you first meet you have all that luvy duvy bollox...holding hands, going at it like jack rabbits, and you have your song. Ours was some crap by Boyzone (I think) and then kids, inlaws and settling down puts things into perspective. So this song has now changed. My new one is:

Toy Dolls - My wife's a psychopath! - YouTube

Please take time to listen and share my misery.

P.S. Why do women go loopy when they hit 40?
 
#2
P.S. Why do women go loopy when they hit 40?
Women are loopy all their lives. It is we men who are too slow to notice this until about OUR 40th birthday. Hence our belief that women begin this strange process about then. They begin at about three weeks of age and improve on it for another eighty years at least - I know, mine is reaching 70 and she still acts strangely at times. Millions of years of evolution has gone into the development of the perfect woman. What a waste of those millions of years. It could so easily been spent on producing something useful. (any suggestions folks?).
 
#4
Women are loopy all their lives. It is we men who are too slow to notice this until about OUR 40th birthday. Hence our belief that women begin this strange process about then. They begin at about three weeks of age and improve on it for another eighty years at least - I know, mine is reaching 70 and she still acts strangely at times. Millions of years of evolution has gone into the development of the perfect woman. What a waste of those millions of years. It could so easily been spent on producing something useful. (any suggestions folks?).
Not being funny Punch but you mustn't go round exaggerating.....'3 weeks?' When that solitary sperm is making it's way down the corridor marked 'Nutter Outcome' That is when it starts .... 3 weeks.. Jeez!
Also, you used the phrase 'At Times' when connected with the word 'strangely'. Just not cricket Sir.
You do realise if you'd have murdered her 30 yrs ago, you would have been happy 30 yrs ago. Any time spent inside would have been deliriously happy knowing you were doing a ten stretch at the most? ....ish
 
#7
Poetry about my ex!


[video=youtube;vS5QMT-JUt4]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS5QMT-JUt4[/video]
 
#9
In the beginning:

Summat by Dido (her choice)
Summat by Prefab Sprout (her choice)
Summat by Cheryl Crow (her choice)

Nowadays:

Fuck You by Anna David
Fuck You by Cee Lo Green
Fuck You by Lily Allen

I chose those. They're on disc for my funeral as well.
 
#10
I have a rather short attention span when it comes to women. What can I say, I'm a cunt.

[video=youtube;HIV_mD_ZNao]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HIV_mD_ZNao[/video]
 
#11
The theme from Roobarb, believe it or not. A very strange woman, the Jade Dream. Even by the high standard of her gender.
 
#12
Therapy? - Diane

A true love song


[video=youtube;fERnrOx9NRA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fERnrOx9NRA&feature=player_embedded[/video]
 
#14
Goldie lookin' Chain - Your missus is a nutta!

Lyric extract

I've never seen a woman make a f*ckin' skinhead cry,
And I never seen a woman try to snap an arm with her thigh.
Now I have and it's just across the pub,
And the worst thing is she's takin' you home for a rub.
You don't deserve it, you know it's a fact,
But mix her up with booze, you got a suicide pact,
2 tequilas and 4 vodka mules,
She's a wrecking ball and her fists are her tools.

We've all been there and know the type well!!
 
#16
I met a girl in Italy called Mary-Lou. One night in a piazza in Rome some guys were busking to a crowd. I grabbed the guitar and did Buddy Holly's Peggy Sue changing the name to 'Mary-Lou'.

After applause she looked at me with big doey eyes and said, 'when did you write that?' I said 'I've been writing that since I first met you...'

13 years, many court visits and £28k later I've just been reunited with my daughter that the fucking bitch refused me access to. All those wasted legal fees, empty years and heartbreaking Christmases are over!

Who said women are all **nts?
 
#18
In the words of Dope "the 1 I love, I hate, but the sex is great". My cousins song was pure class/crass - Under the sea (little Mermaid), and he wonders why he failed Sandhurst selection...then he must have lied about it.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
rotorjock The NAAFI Bar 13
empty_vessel The NAAFI Bar 41
Cait The NAAFI Bar 8

Similar threads

New Posts

Top