Romance is not dead! The things one does for arrse.

#1
OK, this will sound like an excuse but I did genuinely click on one of this site's advertisers' adverts by mistake. Initially. And then curiosity got the better of me, and it has been a bit of an eye opener. Here is an unabridged profile of a doris who seems to know what she wants:




I've got a thing for grime boys and thug style, so long as they are a bit freaky and know how to please an older woman or want to learn. Sorry, if you don't fit this description, I won't be replying as I'm looking for a specific type because I'm just into getting a few of those hot young black / mixed race thug guys at the moment.

Not really interested in anyone over 30, you must love eating pussy and live within a couple of miles of me. Don't have time for long treks and don't always know when I'll get free time, so you need to be close enough for an emergency fuck :).

My favourite position is standing up, from behind, deep in my pussy after I'm warmed up. Even better if the guy can reach my clit with his hand at the same time. Makes me squirt all night.

Massaging oil all over my fat arse and tits is pretty horny, play with my nipples and slide your hands all over my body. Play with my pussy and make me squirt all over you. Need to clean it off tho, to stop the condom breaking, but nice still.

For more pics, get Kik.
 
#2
Well she sounds like a right catch. Was she any good, Last to know?
 
#5
Legs?
 
#7
Did we really sign up to defend this? Or was the female entitlement problem ever thus? From the same source that I accidentally clicked on again:

its a sex website..you figure it out! OK!!! Stop messaging me for a bit and lets put some parameters around this shit! FFS my laptop cant cope...I have only done this once before coz you nuttas just go mental! I'm not putting pictures up but i am not fugly! happy to send them to people who spark my interest! I am however a biker, i'm not sweet, i ride a fucking big Harley, if you are a mincy, ugly little twat - you people know who you are...dont bother, if you are overtly religious...dont bother...dont bother if you havent got at least 8 inches and at least 8 hours in you...you will get hurt, its just fair warning boys, you want barbie...fuck off down the local nightclub, i don't do orange, fake eyelashes or pink in any way shape or form! Lets see if that separates the men from the boys!
 
#11
Ignore last post as a) you're a bloke and therefore not pre-menstrual (or are you) and b) I was doing more than one thing at once and fucked it up.
 
#17
No good telling us all a story, this is not Jackanory, link to site please!

You can find Martina at: Military XXX :: Login

I come from the Czech Republic and have lived here three years my English is small, but I am trying, I am married and I live in London-Ilford, I'm nice, always smiling and friendly, I love sex
I love roses and pussy
I have full figures, I have an eye condition since birth

I hate fake people, etc, I do not like promised.
Looking for friendship that truly, who would I even learned to speak English and not just sex, sex is on the second place.
Hi as I have stated I am married, but probably not soon, my husband wants a divorce soon, so this route look for a friend who would satisfy my needs, such as sex, financial sites, housing and especially to respect,. Modest do not need much.
is there anyone who would like to me?


The "fuller figure" suggests we rule out Sluggy. The use of English presents more a Pioneer Corps sort of camp follower.
 
#18
Did we really sign up to defend this? Or was the female entitlement problem ever thus? From the same source that I accidentally clicked on again:

its a sex website..you figure it out! OK!!! Stop messaging me for a bit and lets put some parameters around this shit! FFS my laptop cant cope...I have only done this once before coz you nuttas just go mental! I'm not putting pictures up but i am not fugly! happy to send them to people who spark my interest! I am however a biker, i'm not sweet, i ride a fucking big Harley, if you are a mincy, ugly little twat - you people know who you are...dont bother, if you are overtly religious...dont bother...dont bother if you havent got at least 8 inches and at least 8 hours in you...you will get hurt, its just fair warning boys, you want barbie...fuck off down the local nightclub, i don't do orange, fake eyelashes or pink in any way shape or form! Lets see if that separates the men from the boys!
Y
ou just know that this has been penned by an 18 stone steelworker called Bernard, don't you......
 
#19
You just know that this has been penned by an 18 stone steelworker called Bernard, don't you......
A mild suspicion, that's all. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

There is more. On the market also is Tina, aged 45. She seems undemanding, and I can see the Arrsers queuing for this one:

I WILL WARN YOU NOW I HAVE A WELL TUNED SOCIAL CONSCIENCE so can hold a good debate (anyone care for an argument?) hahaha........

PS. if I do not reply please do not take offence beauty is subjective and the beholder will decide:) it is a matter of personal taste. be lucky:)

and another thing beauty is doubly subjective if your bleeding headless!!!

and another thing for those of you men that send a message "would like to see more of you" when you have a grey silhouette for a head...... JOG ON!!!

and another thing (im boring myself now) it seems I am on local slags.com as this site is streamlined to many different sites I could go in to a rant but im not gonna I just want to say I am on there without my permission and if that s were you have contacted me from im not for you........ JOG ON!!!

For those of you offering meets you know who you are! I need to be very clear and upfront not in to misleading or bullshitting anybody, so take your hands off your dick for a minute (to much turns you blind) and look at my pic properly i have a birthmark!! so if this is a problem for you then I give you the opportunity to ........ JOG ON!!!

UPDATE:

Guys if you are married,attached,playing away from home go and "LOVE" the one your with the grass is NOT I repeat NOT greener!! ...... dont do sloppy seconds........JOG ON!!!
 
#20
For those looking to replicate DeskTopCommando's recent discover, I present Trudy, who lives in Mayfair.

I may describe myself as clever, trustful, reliable, strong, intelligent, calm, peaceful, surviving, faithful and fair person I believe I have quite much knowledge about everything, have good culture and moral values.

Trudy's Interests
Night clubs, Strip clubs, Fetish clubs, Adult movies at home, Swinging parties, Visiting "Special" shops, Oral - receiving, Oral - giving, Anal, Role Playing and Fun with food.


Any idea what "fun with food" means in this context?
 

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