Rocketeer Dodges A Bullet

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Jun 28, 2007.

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  1. Its the Big Weekend in North America coming up.. July Oneth is Canada Day [ Dominion Day for the Purists ] and, of course, its Independence Day on the 4th for our cousins to the South, so.. naturally, a few of the hale and hearty have been out practising their drinking skills in anticipation of the ' holidays'..

    This 'exercise' lead to the Rocketeer almost becoming toothless in a bar situation when a slip of the tongue [ which I blame on overindulgence of inferior draft lager ] caused a ' mispronunciation' at a critical juncture.

    to wit:

    At the bar was a particularly attractive woman in a smallish tank top which made itself amenable to showing off her assets. but it was her limbs which attracted my initial attention, She was sporting a unique set of tatoos on her arms.. heraldic supporters.. a Lion on one bicep and a unicorn on the other [ very patriotic and all , I thought ] so after admiring the artistry opened my mouth to compliment her and the artist when instead of saying " Nice Tats " as my brain intended , I said..." Nice T*ts " ..

    Lady in question was not amused and neither was her escort, a largish fellow with his own impressive biceps and a homicidal glint in his eye...

    After much burbling of apologies and an expensive outlay for additional libations I managed to mollify the sensitive souls of these two, claiming slip of tongue due to metal plate in head, alzheimers, and the fact that I'm a congenital idiot.

    anyone else come to ruin, real or potential, due to misuses of a vowel or word substitution?
     
  2. Did you find out why she had the Tats?
     
  3. Possibly she used to be a he and went by the name of 'Dave' and worked in local factory as forklift driver before the op! :p

    hence the Tats
     
  4. Poof, should have given him a knee to the happy sack and copped a feel of her 'tats' :p
     
  5. Fugly

    Fugly LE DirtyBAT

    Indeed, a slip of the tongue once got me into a lot of hot water.

    Casually over breakfast, I meant to ask the missus "What time will you be home from work tonight?"

    Instead I accidentally came out with "YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE".

    Amazing what a small mispronunciation can do.
     
  6. class :D
     
  7. Didn't slip on this one but never concentrated so hard.....

    As MC at a formal 200-head dinner, fitted up for the role by being told it always fell to the most junior present, the accepted form was to display bottle by ripping the p**s out of the top table, starting with the most senior and working downwards. Top Dog had just been knighted.

    I told the assembly, "I asked him what's like to be a knight? He asked me what's like to be a count?"

    One slip, just one slip ............
     
  8. Rocketeer, glad to hear you are keeping good relations with the local indigenous personell!
     
  9. All the time, normally to officers just before they write my CR.
     
  10. old_fat_and_hairy

    old_fat_and_hairy LE Book Reviewer Reviews Editor

    Only once, just the one bloody time. In the church. When 'NO!' became 'yes'.