Rocketeer Dodges A Bullet

#1
Its the Big Weekend in North America coming up.. July Oneth is Canada Day [ Dominion Day for the Purists ] and, of course, its Independence Day on the 4th for our cousins to the South, so.. naturally, a few of the hale and hearty have been out practising their drinking skills in anticipation of the ' holidays'..

This 'exercise' lead to the Rocketeer almost becoming toothless in a bar situation when a slip of the tongue [ which I blame on overindulgence of inferior draft lager ] caused a ' mispronunciation' at a critical juncture.

to wit:

At the bar was a particularly attractive woman in a smallish tank top which made itself amenable to showing off her assets. but it was her limbs which attracted my initial attention, She was sporting a unique set of tatoos on her arms.. heraldic supporters.. a Lion on one bicep and a unicorn on the other [ very patriotic and all , I thought ] so after admiring the artistry opened my mouth to compliment her and the artist when instead of saying " Nice Tats " as my brain intended , I said..." Nice T*ts " ..

Lady in question was not amused and neither was her escort, a largish fellow with his own impressive biceps and a homicidal glint in his eye...

After much burbling of apologies and an expensive outlay for additional libations I managed to mollify the sensitive souls of these two, claiming slip of tongue due to metal plate in head, alzheimers, and the fact that I'm a congenital idiot.

anyone else come to ruin, real or potential, due to misuses of a vowel or word substitution?
 
#3
Possibly she used to be a he and went by the name of 'Dave' and worked in local factory as forklift driver before the op! :p

hence the Tats
 
#4
Rocketeer said:
Its the Big Weekend in North America coming up.. July Oneth is Canada Day [ Dominion Day for the Purists ] and, of course, its Independence Day on the 4th for our cousins to the South, so.. naturally, a few of the hale and hearty have been out practising their drinking skills in anticipation of the ' holidays'..

This 'exercise' lead to the Rocketeer almost becoming toothless in a bar situation when a slip of the tongue [ which I blame on overindulgence of inferior draft lager ] caused a ' mispronunciation' at a critical juncture.

to wit:

At the bar was a particularly attractive woman in a smallish tank top which made itself amenable to showing off her assets. but it was her limbs which attracted my initial attention, She was sporting a unique set of tatoos on her arms.. heraldic supporters.. a Lion on one bicep and a unicorn on the other [ very patriotic and all , I thought ] so after admiring the artistry opened my mouth to compliment her and the artist when instead of saying " Nice Tats " as my brain intended , I said..." Nice T*ts " ..

Lady in question was not amused and neither was her escort, a largish fellow with his own impressive biceps and a homicidal glint in his eye...

After much burbling of apologies and an expensive outlay for additional libations I managed to mollify the sensitive souls of these two, claiming slip of tongue due to metal plate in head, alzheimers, and the fact that I'm a congenital idiot.

anyone else come to ruin, real or potential, due to misuses of a vowel or word substitution?
Poof, should have given him a knee to the happy sack and copped a feel of her 'tats' :p
 

Fugly

ADC
DirtyBAT
#5
Indeed, a slip of the tongue once got me into a lot of hot water.

Casually over breakfast, I meant to ask the missus "What time will you be home from work tonight?"

Instead I accidentally came out with "YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE".

Amazing what a small mispronunciation can do.
 
B

blindfire

Guest
#6
Fugly said:
Indeed, a slip of the tongue once got me into a lot of hot water.

Casually over breakfast, I meant to ask the missus "What time will you be home from work tonight?"

Instead I accidentally came out with "YOU FUCKING BITCH, YOU RUINED MY LIFE".

Amazing what a small mispronunciation can do.
class :D
 
#7
Didn't slip on this one but never concentrated so hard.....

As MC at a formal 200-head dinner, fitted up for the role by being told it always fell to the most junior present, the accepted form was to display bottle by ripping the p**s out of the top table, starting with the most senior and working downwards. Top Dog had just been knighted.

I told the assembly, "I asked him what's like to be a knight? He asked me what's like to be a count?"

One slip, just one slip ............
 
#9
Rocketeer said:
anyone else come to ruin, real or potential, due to misuses of a vowel or word substitution?
All the time, normally to officers just before they write my CR.
 

old_fat_and_hairy

LE
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
#10
Only once, just the one bloody time. In the church. When 'NO!' became 'yes'.
 
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