Road Rage

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Johnny_Ludlow, Aug 24, 2005.

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  1. I've probably missed a massive thread on this that has been running since year dot but .... any amusing, frightening or violent tales of road rage? Allow me ...

    A year or so ago I was home on leave and decided to go for a run along the local leafy lanes - high hedges, difficult to see ahead, you know the sort of thing. A red Puegeot 205 came round the corner towards me at a ridiculouse speed on the wrong side of the road and I had to jump into the hedge to avoid him. As he carried on without slowing and I extracted myself from the hedge I gave him an ironic thumbs up in order to indicate how well I thought he was driving.

    I carried on running (I should point out that I was wearing head phones at the time) and about 30 seconds later bacame aware of a screeching noise behind me. I turned to see the 205 side ways on, on two wheels sliding towards me. It stopped and 1 x chav male jumps out and asks me "Wots your f*cking problem?" He was clearly unhappy with the irony I had applied to my hand signal. I replied "The only person with a problem is the tw*t driving the 205." This did nothing to calm him and he began to approach me menacingly, egged on by 1 x chav female who was squawking encouragement from the car window. He was considerably bigger than me so I quickly weighed up my options.

    Well, as I was wearing running kit and was out for a run I decided to take the obvious COA and continue running. After about a minute's brisk running I thought that maybe I should have stood up to the cnut a bit more and stopped to look back. The idiot was running after me. Quickly comparing our respective levels of fitness I decided that he wasn't going to catch me in a month of Sundays so I let him get a bit closer and then ran on for another minute. Stopping again he was still following so this time I decided to shout some encouragement which seemed to annoy him more.

    Granting the man more intelligence than he actually had I was momentarily worried that he might return to his car and catch me that way so, just in case, I took a cross country option that presented itself. He continued to follow and I continued to shout encouragement as he got mud all up his Burberry slacks. Eventually I got bored and just carried on my run. It was highly amusing although I did give all red 205's a second glance for the next couple of days.

    I did think of posting this in Health and Fitness and calling the thread 'When PT pays off'.
  2. I would have done things slightly differently but good effort.
  3. Good drills Johnny, although I would have been tempted to let him catch up a little, but keep running until he was breathing out of his ar$e and ready to puke, and then beaten him mercilessly with a handy rock or branch.
    Still, discretion is after all, the better part of valour.
  4. Road rage. I love it when people gob off at others from the "comfort zone" of their cars. You'd never see anyone pushing a trolley round tesco swearing their t@ts off becoz someone cut them up, or was too slow at the dehli counter. I'm suprised the Chav fellow had the guts to get out of his car. Good skills though mate, i would have probably just lost it and had a full on scrap. I did once hold up the queue at a roundabout in a particular busy part of Edinburgh bcoz someone beeped his horn behind me,,,i think i was in a bit of a daydream at the time,,,,without hesitation i engaged handbrake, neutral, exited my vehicle and approached the perpritrator behind me. He deadlocked his car and pretended i wasn't there, what a brave fellow within the world of his vehicle.
  5. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    I was cut up at the top of the mall last month by a black cab, I was on my bicycle and had no option. It was as if he wanted to pick up a fare where I was stood. I took said W@nkers wing mirror out and he ran me down from behind wrecking my bike. I have his VRN and 3 witnesses but If I see him before the Met the old W@nker better watch out as I view assault with a vehicle as attempted MUR DUR!
  6. Nice one johnny reminds me of a time when i was in edinburgh when some chav prick was infront of me and being rather dense was failing to pull out at a roundabout. I gave him a little pip of the horn as encouragement and the fellow immediatly jumped out of his car and came rushing over to me. I immediatly locked my door and tittered to myself at this man who was suddenly bemused by the simple door lock and left standing in the middle of a busy edinburgh road looking a right prick.
  7. Dont you think that he was justified in beeping you if you were zoned out and not moving, I know I would and have done the same. It may have been more of a curtesy beep than an irate one.
  8. No, it was an irate beep, i wouldn't have got out of the car otherwise. Anyway, who cares, it was just another example of how people cannot confront and are happy to hide either behind or within things. I would prefer that someone had the guts to approach and discuss rather than peep horn,,gob off and drive away. I think the guy learnt a valuable lesson that he should maybe think before engaging horn.
  9. :D :D :D :D

    I know of one road rage occasion, not involving me or anyone I know but got to hear of through work, he was so enraged he pulled out his 9mm Browning from the glove comartment (back in the days when we could have them), and started waving it about.

    Also gave a mate who was stuck in the traffic lights ahead of us loads of toots on the horn, waving hands from the co-driver and I etc. etc. As it was so dark he didn't realise until after he got out of his car fuming that he was staring at two pissing themselves blokes bent over double laughing!

    Most of the time I just smile very sweetly at the enraged f#ckwit behind me , especially make sure my cheesy grin is clear in the rear view mirror. Funnily enough, it doesn't help the situation but gives me satisfaction
  10. This reminds me of a time i was driving towards bath through a village called batheaston. The road being narrow the 2 cyclists riding side by side having a nice chat were causing a right queue. When i finally got to overtake i felt it was my urge to point out to these chaps that riding side by side is against the highway code and very dangerous on narrow roads. The 2 guys looked very disgruntled that there erros had been pointed out by a car driver and as i drove off they speeded up in order to catch me at the next junction. As i reached the roundabout ahead and sat in the traffic jam the 2 cyclists managed to catch me and beckoned me to discuss this matter further. I wound my window down to listen to them and was told in a rather aggressive manner that it's not against the highway code for cyclists to ride side by side. The conversation continued with me pointing out that it was dangerous for them to ride like that and them pointing out that cyclists have right of way anyway and cars should allow for them (they were the carhating cyclists who like to remind you of every time a car has hit a bike ever). As these 2 chaps continued to rant at me and making threatening remarks i realised i didnt need to have this conversation because i was in a car and it has windows. Windind my windows up seemed to antagonise them further so at this point i was laughing my tits off at the 2 guys in matching bright yellow lycra shouting at a closed window. It was at this moment one of the cyclists decided to get physical, he took his feet out of the clips and proceeded to kick my car. He very quickly worked out that kicking a large piece of metal whilst wearing soft cycling shoes was a very bad idea and the pain caused himto lose balance and fall off. Oh how i laughed at the sight in my rear view mirror of the tour de france wannabe lying on the floor nursing what was probably a broken toe. Muppet
  11. [. I love it when people gob off at others from the "comfort zone" of their cars. You'd never see anyone pushing a trolley round tesco swearing their t@ts off becoz someone cut them up, or was too slow at the dehli counter.

    Well you say that! But some old coffin dodger wandered off with our half full trolley in Sainburys thinking it was hers. So i went up to her and told her very kindly that she had taken the wrong trolley. The old hag then only went to hit me with her hand bag. Stupid ol b*tch started making a right ol scene! Give me a Chav in a car any day, at least you punch them!
  12. ugly

    ugly LE Moderator

    I have my revenge and on weekends I get in one of my 4 wd chelsea tractors and bowl over a few of the car commuters on their weekend keep fit regimes on the ever so craapy halfords bikes they seem to buy!
  13. hmmmm,

    reminds me of a time i was travelling down to bordon to see a mate, i was in a ropey old 106 D that was slow at the best of times. i was accelerating (i say that in the loosest terms) from a roundabout in the outside lane when the guy on the inside lane just kept pace inside of me. the guy behind me showed his impatience by full beaming me and starting to wave his fists. i promptly replied with the one finger salute in the rear view mirror.

    This enraged him further to which point when i pulled in he came alongside giving me abuse and inviting me to pull over. i obliged and he parked so i could not get out my drivers door. i scooted away and he continued to follow me until we pulled over again and i managed to observe de buss drills quickly and he did also. seeing he was quite big and wearing rigger boots i did the best impression i could of a demented maniac who wanted to kill him and this did the trick. we both got into our cars and did one.

    it did however put the s*its up me and i vowed to be a bit more tollerant on the roads from now on, u never know which idiot your gonna meet!

    One day whilst out and about in my Cat C+E (Class 1) truck i was causing a bit of a hold up as i slowly crawled uphill towards some temporary t-lights. I got to a short stretch of overtaking lane and so all the cars/vans etc stuck behind me started to get past. eventually the lanes narrowed to a single road again and we crested the hill, i started to increase speed going downhill and low and behold a car went screaming past me in an effort to get in front of the truck, the only problem being that the driver nearly caused an accident as there were oncoming cars/vans/trucks etc i had to apply the brakes rather quick smart.

    Now, that that is unusual in itself, but i was fully laden carrying 38 to of dead weight so the effort to stop in case of emergencies was rather a precariuos one. My second action was to give the tw@ of a driver some of the loud musical anger.

    However once at the temporary t-lights being rather annoyed with the cnutish antics of the other driver i hopped out of my cab and approached said vehicle, to my surprise and shock it happened to be a female with a kid on board. As she wound down the window i noticed that she had managed to turn on the waterworks, obviously hoping the sympathy card would work with me, not so, i told her in no uncertain terms the error of her ways and to think of the little person in the back of her car and left her sobbing away. Glad that i had educated another muppet of a road user i carried merrily on my way until the next one came along.
  15. With the price of gas as high as it's getting...a rise in the price of ammo
    may shut the L.A. freeways down for lack of traffic.