Road Rage

#1
I've probably missed a massive thread on this that has been running since year dot but .... any amusing, frightening or violent tales of road rage? Allow me ...

A year or so ago I was home on leave and decided to go for a run along the local leafy lanes - high hedges, difficult to see ahead, you know the sort of thing. A red Puegeot 205 came round the corner towards me at a ridiculouse speed on the wrong side of the road and I had to jump into the hedge to avoid him. As he carried on without slowing and I extracted myself from the hedge I gave him an ironic thumbs up in order to indicate how well I thought he was driving.

I carried on running (I should point out that I was wearing head phones at the time) and about 30 seconds later bacame aware of a screeching noise behind me. I turned to see the 205 side ways on, on two wheels sliding towards me. It stopped and 1 x chav male jumps out and asks me "Wots your f*cking problem?" He was clearly unhappy with the irony I had applied to my hand signal. I replied "The only person with a problem is the tw*t driving the 205." This did nothing to calm him and he began to approach me menacingly, egged on by 1 x chav female who was squawking encouragement from the car window. He was considerably bigger than me so I quickly weighed up my options.

Well, as I was wearing running kit and was out for a run I decided to take the obvious COA and continue running. After about a minute's brisk running I thought that maybe I should have stood up to the cnut a bit more and stopped to look back. The idiot was running after me. Quickly comparing our respective levels of fitness I decided that he wasn't going to catch me in a month of Sundays so I let him get a bit closer and then ran on for another minute. Stopping again he was still following so this time I decided to shout some encouragement which seemed to annoy him more.

Granting the man more intelligence than he actually had I was momentarily worried that he might return to his car and catch me that way so, just in case, I took a cross country option that presented itself. He continued to follow and I continued to shout encouragement as he got mud all up his Burberry slacks. Eventually I got bored and just carried on my run. It was highly amusing although I did give all red 205's a second glance for the next couple of days.

I did think of posting this in Health and Fitness and calling the thread 'When PT pays off'.
 
#2
I would have done things slightly differently but good effort.
 
#3
Good drills Johnny, although I would have been tempted to let him catch up a little, but keep running until he was breathing out of his ar$e and ready to puke, and then beaten him mercilessly with a handy rock or branch.
Still, discretion is after all, the better part of valour.
 
#4
Road rage. I love it when people gob off at others from the "comfort zone" of their cars. You'd never see anyone pushing a trolley round tesco swearing their t@ts off becoz someone cut them up, or was too slow at the dehli counter. I'm suprised the Chav fellow had the guts to get out of his car. Good skills though mate, i would have probably just lost it and had a full on scrap. I did once hold up the queue at a roundabout in a particular busy part of Edinburgh bcoz someone beeped his horn behind me,,,i think i was in a bit of a daydream at the time,,,,without hesitation i engaged handbrake, neutral, exited my vehicle and approached the perpritrator behind me. He deadlocked his car and pretended i wasn't there, what a brave fellow within the world of his vehicle.
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#5
I was cut up at the top of the mall last month by a black cab, I was on my bicycle and had no option. It was as if he wanted to pick up a fare where I was stood. I took said W@nkers wing mirror out and he ran me down from behind wrecking my bike. I have his VRN and 3 witnesses but If I see him before the Met the old W@nker better watch out as I view assault with a vehicle as attempted MUR DUR!
 
#6
Nice one johnny reminds me of a time when i was in edinburgh when some chav prick was infront of me and being rather dense was failing to pull out at a roundabout. I gave him a little pip of the horn as encouragement and the fellow immediatly jumped out of his car and came rushing over to me. I immediatly locked my door and tittered to myself at this man who was suddenly bemused by the simple door lock and left standing in the middle of a busy edinburgh road looking a right prick.
 
#7
mylittlepony said:
Road rage. I love it when people gob off at others from the "comfort zone" of their cars. You'd never see anyone pushing a trolley round tesco swearing their t@ts off becoz someone cut them up, or was too slow at the dehli counter. I'm suprised the Chav fellow had the guts to get out of his car. Good skills though mate, i would have probably just lost it and had a full on scrap. I did once hold up the queue at a roundabout in a particular busy part of Edinburgh bcoz someone beeped his horn behind me,,,i think i was in a bit of a daydream at the time,,,,without hesitation i engaged handbrake, neutral, exited my vehicle and approached the perpritrator behind me. He deadlocked his car and pretended i wasn't there, what a brave fellow within the world of his vehicle.
Dont you think that he was justified in beeping you if you were zoned out and not moving, I know I would and have done the same. It may have been more of a curtesy beep than an irate one.
 
#8
No, it was an irate beep, i wouldn't have got out of the car otherwise. Anyway, who cares, it was just another example of how people cannot confront and are happy to hide either behind or within things. I would prefer that someone had the guts to approach and discuss rather than peep horn,,gob off and drive away. I think the guy learnt a valuable lesson that he should maybe think before engaging horn.
 
#9
mylittlepony said:
Road rage. I love it when people gob off at others from the "comfort zone" of their cars. You'd never see anyone pushing a trolley round tesco swearing their t@ts off becoz someone cut them up, or was too slow at the dehli counter. I'm suprised the Chav fellow had the guts to get out of his car. Good skills though mate, i would have probably just lost it and had a full on scrap. I did once hold up the queue at a roundabout in a particular busy part of Edinburgh bcoz someone beeped his horn behind me,,,i think i was in a bit of a daydream at the time,,,,without hesitation i engaged handbrake, neutral, exited my vehicle and approached the perpritrator behind me. He deadlocked his car and pretended i wasn't there, what a brave fellow within the world of his vehicle.
thebull140 said:
Nice one johnny reminds me of a time when i was in edinburgh when some chav prick was infront of me and being rather dense was failing to pull out at a roundabout. I gave him a little pip of the horn as encouragement and the fellow immediatly jumped out of his car and came rushing over to me. I immediatly locked my door and tittered to myself at this man who was suddenly bemused by the simple door lock and left standing in the middle of a busy edinburgh road looking a right prick.
:D :D :D :D

I know of one road rage occasion, not involving me or anyone I know but got to hear of through work, he was so enraged he pulled out his 9mm Browning from the glove comartment (back in the days when we could have them), and started waving it about.

Also gave a mate who was stuck in the traffic lights ahead of us loads of toots on the horn, waving hands from the co-driver and I etc. etc. As it was so dark he didn't realise until after he got out of his car fuming that he was staring at two pissing themselves blokes bent over double laughing!

Most of the time I just smile very sweetly at the enraged f#ckwit behind me , especially make sure my cheesy grin is clear in the rear view mirror. Funnily enough, it doesn't help the situation but gives me satisfaction
 
#10
ugly said:
I was cut up at the top of the mall last month by a black cab, I was on my bicycle and had no option. It was as if he wanted to pick up a fare where I was stood. I took said W@nkers wing mirror out and he ran me down from behind wrecking my bike. I have his VRN and 3 witnesses but If I see him before the Met the old W@nker better watch out as I view assault with a vehicle as attempted MUR DUR!
This reminds me of a time i was driving towards bath through a village called batheaston. The road being narrow the 2 cyclists riding side by side having a nice chat were causing a right queue. When i finally got to overtake i felt it was my urge to point out to these chaps that riding side by side is against the highway code and very dangerous on narrow roads. The 2 guys looked very disgruntled that there erros had been pointed out by a car driver and as i drove off they speeded up in order to catch me at the next junction. As i reached the roundabout ahead and sat in the traffic jam the 2 cyclists managed to catch me and beckoned me to discuss this matter further. I wound my window down to listen to them and was told in a rather aggressive manner that it's not against the highway code for cyclists to ride side by side. The conversation continued with me pointing out that it was dangerous for them to ride like that and them pointing out that cyclists have right of way anyway and cars should allow for them (they were the carhating cyclists who like to remind you of every time a car has hit a bike ever). As these 2 chaps continued to rant at me and making threatening remarks i realised i didnt need to have this conversation because i was in a car and it has windows. Windind my windows up seemed to antagonise them further so at this point i was laughing my tits off at the 2 guys in matching bright yellow lycra shouting at a closed window. It was at this moment one of the cyclists decided to get physical, he took his feet out of the clips and proceeded to kick my car. He very quickly worked out that kicking a large piece of metal whilst wearing soft cycling shoes was a very bad idea and the pain caused himto lose balance and fall off. Oh how i laughed at the sight in my rear view mirror of the tour de france wannabe lying on the floor nursing what was probably a broken toe. Muppet
 
#11
[. I love it when people gob off at others from the "comfort zone" of their cars. You'd never see anyone pushing a trolley round tesco swearing their t@ts off becoz someone cut them up, or was too slow at the dehli counter.



Well you say that! But some old coffin dodger wandered off with our half full trolley in Sainburys thinking it was hers. So i went up to her and told her very kindly that she had taken the wrong trolley. The old hag then only went to hit me with her hand bag. Stupid ol b*tch started making a right ol scene! Give me a Chav in a car any day, at least you punch them!
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#12
I have my revenge and on weekends I get in one of my 4 wd chelsea tractors and bowl over a few of the car commuters on their weekend keep fit regimes on the ever so craapy halfords bikes they seem to buy!
 
#13
hmmmm,

reminds me of a time i was travelling down to bordon to see a mate, i was in a ropey old 106 D that was slow at the best of times. i was accelerating (i say that in the loosest terms) from a roundabout in the outside lane when the guy on the inside lane just kept pace inside of me. the guy behind me showed his impatience by full beaming me and starting to wave his fists. i promptly replied with the one finger salute in the rear view mirror.

This enraged him further to which point when i pulled in he came alongside giving me abuse and inviting me to pull over. i obliged and he parked so i could not get out my drivers door. i scooted away and he continued to follow me until we pulled over again and i managed to observe de buss drills quickly and he did also. seeing he was quite big and wearing rigger boots i did the best impression i could of a demented maniac who wanted to kill him and this did the trick. we both got into our cars and did one.

it did however put the s*its up me and i vowed to be a bit more tollerant on the roads from now on, u never know which idiot your gonna meet!
 
#14
REVENGE IS SWEET

One day whilst out and about in my Cat C+E (Class 1) truck i was causing a bit of a hold up as i slowly crawled uphill towards some temporary t-lights. I got to a short stretch of overtaking lane and so all the cars/vans etc stuck behind me started to get past. eventually the lanes narrowed to a single road again and we crested the hill, i started to increase speed going downhill and low and behold a car went screaming past me in an effort to get in front of the truck, the only problem being that the driver nearly caused an accident as there were oncoming cars/vans/trucks etc i had to apply the brakes rather quick smart.

Now, that that is unusual in itself, but i was fully laden carrying 38 to of dead weight so the effort to stop in case of emergencies was rather a precariuos one. My second action was to give the tw@ of a driver some of the loud musical anger.

However once at the temporary t-lights being rather annoyed with the cnutish antics of the other driver i hopped out of my cab and approached said vehicle, to my surprise and shock it happened to be a female with a kid on board. As she wound down the window i noticed that she had managed to turn on the waterworks, obviously hoping the sympathy card would work with me, not so, i told her in no uncertain terms the error of her ways and to think of the little person in the back of her car and left her sobbing away. Glad that i had educated another muppet of a road user i carried merrily on my way until the next one came along.
 
#16
Only lost it once about ten years back. Driving home from work in the summer, hot and dirty from laying concrete all day and a little p*ssed off with my lot. I'm driving towards one of the roundabouts into Stafford (near the prison if anyone knows it) the road goes from two to three lanes about 50m from the first set of lights on the roundabout. Just as I'm slowing down to the lights some feckwit in a open top hairdressers sports thing starts bibbing his horn and jestering for me to move over to let him past...........the t*t hadn't seen the red light so pulled up sharp next to me.

Red mist decended.........I like to think I then discussed lane discipline and how to approach a junction.........however this came out as a stream of abuse in which his parenthood was called into question several times.......he stared straight ahead as if I'm not there.

The lights change.......and he pulls away. Only to pull up at the lights halfway across the roundabout, with me next to him again still going mental. Once these lights change he's off like a shot.

Funny enough I was in a good mood for the rest of the day.


Forgot to add, I was driving a white van as well.
 
#17
mylittlepony said:
You'd never see anyone pushing a trolley round tesco swearing their t@ts off becoz someone cut them up, or was too slow at the dehli counter.
I do this all the time. My personal gripe is cnuts who abandon their trolleys to block the way and stand chatting to someone or fcuking old people who lets face it have all fcuking day to do the shopping but decide to daunder and dither around the supermarket during the half hour you have allocated to go.

I particularly dislike the old bastard who decides that he can give the check out operator the exact change and spends fifteen minutes rooting through his purse (Never trust a man with a purse - I have one) because his hands shake and they can't see well enough to determine which coins are which. then the cnut finds a coupon and all begins again.

Then there are those tossers who push the trolley towards you and then avoid you by turning the same way you have turned. Cnuts!!!

In an ideal world the elderly should have to do their shopping between 9:30 and 11:30am thus they are not under the feet of those who pop out to do the shopping on lunch breaks or those, like me, who are somewhat challenged when it comes to patience.

Now naturally When shopping it is only natural to go to the check out where there is an almost attractive young lass working (rather than the spotty unshaven chavs at the others) The queue will probably be slightly longer even though there are less people in it as this particular supermarket employee despite being almost pretty turns out to be thicker than your average housebrick. By the time you start loading your stuff onto the conveyer (after several ringings of the supervisor bell, explanations that the credit card machine is being slow today, over-rings and a supervisors visit for an item without a bar-code) you will have heard her life story four times including details about an amorous encounter with an estate agent called Dave who turned out to be a 'right knob' (and she was surprised?)

When you finally leave the shop you find that the retarded slut has left the security alarm tag on the pair of maternity dungarees (spelling?) which Mrs Lairdx has bought but will probably never wear. An over zealous security guard wearing what looks like a uniform of the California Highway patrol, leaps out from behind his security desk/cctv monitor. This wee lad looks about as capable of handling a real shoplifter as an aborted foetus but personally takes it upon himself to delay you as much as possible by swinging each and every one of your fifteen carrier bags through the detector, even though everybody else (including the senile old c ock who was in front of you in the queue) has worked out the tag is on the dungarees. He then insists on close scrutiny of your till receipt but this takes a while as the wee lad doesn't read to well.

I hate supermarkets. I have sworn at a lot of people in the supermarket but I have yet to thump anyone in the supermarket. I think I have shown remarkable self control.
 
#18
Was hitchiking down the A4 about fifteen years ago with a mate having returned from a week hitching around France. We were smelly, unkempt, with fcukoff big warry rucksacks and looked plain 'orrible. It was getting dark and there was snow on the ground and we had resigned ourselves to walking the twenty odd miles to home, soft beds and showers. Suddenly, miraculously, a small car pulls up and Mr Chartered Accountant offers us a lift.

He'd had an exciting day. On his way to work that very morning he'd had made a rude gesture at a Fellow Road User who had been driving like a cnut. When the FRU had exited his vehicle, shouting and screaming, our new friend had decided that maybe, just maybe, making the rude gesture had been a mistake. A feeling reinforced when the very angry FRU had suddenly dashed back to his own car and after delving into the boot reappeared with......a three foot axe.

Swift reversing and pulling out into fast moving traffic meant he got away unscathed, but very shaken......only to pick up us two desperados on the way home.

Did he have a deathwish or was he looking for protection? I still don't know.
 
#19
This thread reminds me of a story a collegue of mine told me a few weeks ago. The old saying about the "quiet ones are the worst" springs to mind. The bloke in question is a reasonably large guy, but quiet, calm and approachable. One day, over lunch, he told the assembled group about a road rage story. He admitted that his mild mannered Clark Kent attitude changed when he got behind the wheel of his car. On this particular day, he had been driving home from work. He was motoring along the country roads when he was overtaken by a baseball hat wearing youth, driving a neon lit Saxo Sport. The Saxo cut him up on a blind corner, and my collegue showed his dismay by flashing his lights and sounding his horn.
Imagine his delight when said youth braked suddenly in front of him, and exited the Saxo gesticulating wildly. My collegue, surprised, also got out of his car, but with a car jack handle he kept in the drivers footwell (for such occasions he explained).
The Saxo drivers attitude changed at once, to an appologetic child, in view of my large friend wielding an iron bar. His attitude adjustment did him no good, as my collegue swung and hit him on his upper arm. The Chav went down, obviously upset with the chain of events. My collegue then opened the Saxo drivers door, took the keys, threw them over a nearby hedge, and calmly walked back to his car - and drove away !!
Whether you approve of this behaviour or not, it really does echo what has been said before. You do not know who is out there on our roads.
The collegue in question is now looked upon in a different light. Surprisingly, no-one wants to car share with him................
 
#20
WEATHERMAN1956 said:
With the price of gas as high as it's getting...a rise in the price of ammo
may shut the L.A. freeways down for lack of traffic.
Are you taking the p*ss?????

I can't be arrsed to work out the math.....but your $2.55 (£1.50) per (US) gallon equates to 39p per litre. It is currently 93p per litre here. That is £3.52 per (US) gallon or $5.91 in your money. (ah...well...I worked out the math after all)

Grrrrrr.....can you get internet forum rage????

Stop whining about your unbelievably high rise in "gas" prices.....you should try running a car here!

Mind you, the company fuel card does help... ;)
 

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