Road rage - your experiences!

#1
I know we all like to think of ourselves as rational, humourous, and happy-go-lucky human beings. The sort of good chaps that would happily take a shopping trolley to the back of the heel & turn round with a showbiz grin & say "I'm sorry" to the clueless, benefit scrounging twat in his Sports Direct tracky bottoms and pizza stained England football shirt that rammed you through sheer lack of muscular co-ordination and spacial awareness.

However!!!!!

When some fucker pulls in a bit sharpish, invading your personal space, or some mouth-breathing Citroen driver tailgates you through a 40 zone, you really do want to break loose an armoury of fists, wheel braces & broken Starbucks cold coffee bottles in their arrogant size 42 waisted faces.

Or is that just me?

Tell me please, your storied of the Good, The Bad, and best of all when it Turned Ugly!!

I have some corkers, but I''ll chip in late, like an England striker.
 
#4
why is it at EVERY roundabout drivers don't think to stop when traffic from the right is passing?

it seems its 'pull out at all costs' and the other driver will stop before me.

and when did they bring in a law on wearing blinkers?

it's got that bad lately i'm ashamed to say i chase other drivers, and i've never been like that before.

to the bastard lorry driver who pulled out from a stop when i was about 2/3 cars length?
if you read this i hope you break your fucking legs you wanker .........................

rant over
 
#5
I hate people who stick the front end of their car out of road ends into oncoming traffic to force you to let them out, even though you have the right of way. Sometimes when I'm not in a rush I do let people out, but not when the cunts are trying to force me to do it!
Also hate people who practically wheelspin out of a junction to desperately try and get in front of you, forcing you to jab your brakes on, then they proceed to drive at 40 in a 60 zone while you sit behind them with your blood pressure going up.
And I hate cunts who arent ready to set off when traffic lights go green, they wait till it changes then put their car in gear, let the handbrake off and set off slowly through the lights, meaning they just get through before it changes and you get left sitting there for another cycle.
Oh and mothers who push their pram out into the road to make me stop and let them cross - just fucking wait a minute you silly bint!
 
#6
I hate people who stick the front end of their car out of road ends into oncoming traffic to force you to let them out, even though you have the right of way. Sometimes when I'm not in a rush I do let people out, but not when the cunts are trying to force me to do it!
Also hate people who practically wheelspin out of a junction to desperately try and get in front of you, forcing you to jab your brakes on, then they proceed to drive at 40 in a 60 zone while you sit behind them with your blood pressure going up.
And I hate cunts who arent ready to set off when traffic lights go green, they wait till it changes then put their car in gear, let the handbrake off and set off slowly through the lights, meaning they just get through before it changes and you get left sitting there for another cycle.
Oh and mothers who push their pram out into the road to make me stop and let them cross - just fucking wait a minute you silly bint!
Excellent, this is exactly the sort of emotion I was hoping to stir up, but please, more of the same, and hopefully some funny anecdotes of when you've road raged and ended up embarrassed, sacked, beaten to a shitty pulp or better still, actually dead!
 

Gonzo33

Old-Salt
Book Reviewer
#8
The tosser in their chelsea tractor sitting in the middle lane on the M20 who speeds up when you go to overtake them, he soon realised that two wheels are faster than 4 though :)
 
#9
Middle lane (or the 2nd lane) zombies -these fuckers effectively reduce the usability of multi-lane roads. Just fucking sit there driving like zombies at speed limit. And there are 3-4 empty lanes next to them! These days I don't even bother changing lanes all the way from the leftmost empty lane (4th lane) to the fastest lane and returning back, just undertake them from left. Too much trouble doing this every 5 seconds.

And idiots who just pull out into the overtaking lane at the last minute forcing you to brake, when all he had to do was wait 2secs since the road is completely EMPTY behind me. And then fucking taking their sweet time overtaking the guy in the front! AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! :pissedoff:
 
#10
M5/ M6 interchange last week some twat tried to block me. Gobbed on his window, bastard! Then l had to flip me vizor up.
l was fucking incandescent!!
 
#12
Twats who drive right up to were the cones take out a lane on the motorway and then force themselves in holding everyone else up. I normally straddle the two lanes near were the lanes merge now to stop the fuckers a trick I learned in Germany at least there the truck divers to the front/rear of you kept your space open so you could slide back in making a nice rolling road block. Over here the car driver st the back would move into your space!
 
#13
Dozy twats who leave 2 (or more FFS!) car length gaps in the queue at traffic lights. And then wait until the car in front of them has moved off before they decide to start moving. Why, just why, you fucking selfish mongs? Get two or more of these fuckwits together and the queue hardly moves before the lights turn red again.

Then there are the ones who stop the obligatory 2 car lengths back, then proceed to move forward in one foot (maximum) increments, pausing for a few seconds after each foot of movement.

Shift yer fuckin arrses, you barstewards!!!!!!!!!!!

...and relax...
 
#14
Ooop here in Bradfordshire ( near 4 Para Pudsey ) there is a whole network of Asian cnuts ( I am not racist ) who blast around no seatbelts on - smoking joints - mobiles glued to their ear-not bothering to look at junctions etc etc, one twat nearly had me off me motorbike when he did a mental overtake by my local school-chased the twat shouting for him to get of his car - was shouting in me open faced lid for him to stop, calling him cnut, fcukking twat, wanker etc by all these school kids as they looked on in horror, I was fucking vexxed but the twat did more outragious overtaking nearly crashing into two cars-decided to cool off cos knowing this fcuking country I'd get done for caving the twatting cowards face in never mind him nearly killing me and a few others.
Would like to know if any Bradfordians have similar experiences-my poorly Mums in hospital in BRI and I never take me bike over there due to these wankers and their shit driving skills - always take me car. They never get pulled by cops either.
 
#15
Twats who drive right up to were the cones take out a lane on the motorway and then force themselves in holding everyone else up. I normally straddle the two lanes near were the lanes merge now to stop the fuckers a trick I learned in Germany at least there the truck divers to the front/rear of you kept your space open so you could slide back in making a nice rolling road block. Over here the car driver st the back would move into your space!
Highway Code says you should use both lanes all the way to the roadworks then merge in turn.
 
#16
Driving every day on the A5 in Germany, I often wish for 007's DB5.
Down my way then??
I love the twats that see you comming at speed, on an empty road,and pull out to overtake a lorrey thats nearly 500 mtrs infront of them without indicating forcing me to throw the ankers out and pray that I can halve my speed in 150 mtrs CUNTS:pissedoff:
 
#17
Driving north up the M5/M6 on Friday afternoon and had a bit of a moment with some bellend where the M6 proper joins back to the toll road. He'd been driving like a tool for the last few miles, tailgating various people and jumping around the lanes then slowing off once he'd pulled out in front of everyone in the outside lane.

Anyway, when the M6 splits and you get the outside lane going off on its own to merge early into the rest of the M6 I'd ended up directly behind him and I decided I'd had enough, so I figured would just get past the bloke - I had plenty of horses over him so no real issue. We all merge in turn (him still tailgating the car in front) and I pull out to the middle lane. Obviously this wound nobber up, so he casually pulls out in front of me at 60mph - there wasn't even a full car length to squeeze into; his boot would have clipped straight into my bonnet if I hadn't pulled into the (fortunately clear) outside lane. I carry on accelerating and pass by waving the finger - as you do - and he pulls out behind, racing right up to my tailgate. Childishly I slammed the brakes on and was rewarded with his front bumper practically scraping the tarmac in panic. He finally backed off.

Still evidently angry with the world, nobber decides to get "revenge" and a few minutes later comes storming up the middle lane, undertaking and waving his own finger. Thing is, there isn't exactly a lot of room in the outside lane as we're all passing a lorry. He unfortunately realises this before plowing into the back of the lorry, and dives into the outside lane roughly four cars ahead of me - cutting them up just as badly as he'd done to me and nearly causing half a dozen cars to concertina into the back of each other.

By this point the bloke has run out of friends and it seems half of the M6 is out to get him. The last I saw of him he was being intentionally boxed in by three other cars who spotted him about to cut up someone else through some congestion. He ended braking so hard in panic that his rear wheels wiggled a bit and I honestly thought he was going to spin. I pulled into the inside lane laughing so hard I nearly crashed, but I did get a glimpse of the apoplexy in his face before I jumped into the inside lane and cruised right past the now-standing traffic which made it all worthwhile.

It was only then that I remembered a tip I picked up from this very forum, and began searching for copper pennies to toss out of the sunroof the next time he caught me up. Sadly he never did catch up after that boxing-in incident, and I have to wonder if he ended up a twisted wreck under an Eddie Stobart lorry. That would have been a tad unfortunate because he had his wife and baby in the car with him as well.
 
#18
Middle lane (or the 2nd lane) zombies -these fuckers effectively reduce the usability of multi-lane roads. Just fucking sit there driving like zombies at speed limit. And there are 3-4 empty lanes next to them! These days I don't even bother changing lanes all the way from the leftmost empty lane (4th lane) to the fastest lane and returning back, just undertake them from left. Too much trouble doing this every 5 seconds.

And idiots who just pull out into the overtaking lane at the last minute forcing you to brake, when all he had to do was wait 2secs since the road is completely EMPTY behind me. And then fucking taking their sweet time overtaking the guy in the front! AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! :pissedoff:
Red
Noticed this as very prevalent over your side of the pond this year. Are your traffic cops a tad keen or something?


Sent from my iPhone using ARRSE app
 
#19
Red
Noticed this as very prevalent over your side of the pond this year. Are your traffic cops a tad keen or something?


Sent from my iPhone using ARRSE app
Yep - lot's of idiots around, I personally find Brit drivers here to be a much better behaved bunch, apart from the middle lane thingy and the odd idiot.

Didn't quite understand what you meant by the statement in bold?
 
#20
Generally people who lack fucking chest hair in their driving ability, those who have 100+ horses under the but only use 40. It's not a fucking ornament!!
 

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