Road rage - your experiences!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by SausageDog, Jul 21, 2012.

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  1. I know we all like to think of ourselves as rational, humourous, and happy-go-lucky human beings. The sort of good chaps that would happily take a shopping trolley to the back of the heel & turn round with a showbiz grin & say "I'm sorry" to the clueless, benefit scrounging twat in his Sports Direct tracky bottoms and pizza stained England football shirt that rammed you through sheer lack of muscular co-ordination and spacial awareness.


    When some fucker pulls in a bit sharpish, invading your personal space, or some mouth-breathing Citroen driver tailgates you through a 40 zone, you really do want to break loose an armoury of fists, wheel braces & broken Starbucks cold coffee bottles in their arrogant size 42 waisted faces.

    Or is that just me?

    Tell me please, your storied of the Good, The Bad, and best of all when it Turned Ugly!!

    I have some corkers, but I''ll chip in late, like an England striker.
  2. Driving every day on the A5 in Germany, I often wish for 007's DB5.
  3. Wouldn't his Walther PPK be of more use?
  4. why is it at EVERY roundabout drivers don't think to stop when traffic from the right is passing?

    it seems its 'pull out at all costs' and the other driver will stop before me.

    and when did they bring in a law on wearing blinkers?

    it's got that bad lately i'm ashamed to say i chase other drivers, and i've never been like that before.

    to the bastard lorry driver who pulled out from a stop when i was about 2/3 cars length?
    if you read this i hope you break your fucking legs you wanker .........................

    rant over
  5. I hate people who stick the front end of their car out of road ends into oncoming traffic to force you to let them out, even though you have the right of way. Sometimes when I'm not in a rush I do let people out, but not when the cunts are trying to force me to do it!
    Also hate people who practically wheelspin out of a junction to desperately try and get in front of you, forcing you to jab your brakes on, then they proceed to drive at 40 in a 60 zone while you sit behind them with your blood pressure going up.
    And I hate cunts who arent ready to set off when traffic lights go green, they wait till it changes then put their car in gear, let the handbrake off and set off slowly through the lights, meaning they just get through before it changes and you get left sitting there for another cycle.
    Oh and mothers who push their pram out into the road to make me stop and let them cross - just fucking wait a minute you silly bint!
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  6. Excellent, this is exactly the sort of emotion I was hoping to stir up, but please, more of the same, and hopefully some funny anecdotes of when you've road raged and ended up embarrassed, sacked, beaten to a shitty pulp or better still, actually dead!
  7. The slack jawed yokels who drive down A roads at 40 mph then drive through a 30 mph village at 45 mph.
    My piss is beginning to boil already..,,
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  8. Gonzo33

    Gonzo33 Old-Salt Book Reviewer

    The tosser in their chelsea tractor sitting in the middle lane on the M20 who speeds up when you go to overtake them, he soon realised that two wheels are faster than 4 though :)
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  9. Middle lane (or the 2nd lane) zombies -these fuckers effectively reduce the usability of multi-lane roads. Just fucking sit there driving like zombies at speed limit. And there are 3-4 empty lanes next to them! These days I don't even bother changing lanes all the way from the leftmost empty lane (4th lane) to the fastest lane and returning back, just undertake them from left. Too much trouble doing this every 5 seconds.

    And idiots who just pull out into the overtaking lane at the last minute forcing you to brake, when all he had to do was wait 2secs since the road is completely EMPTY behind me. And then fucking taking their sweet time overtaking the guy in the front! AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH! :pissedoff:
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  10. M5/ M6 interchange last week some twat tried to block me. Gobbed on his window, bastard! Then l had to flip me vizor up.
    l was fucking incandescent!!
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  11. Almost as bad as sneezing on your visor. :)
  12. Twats who drive right up to were the cones take out a lane on the motorway and then force themselves in holding everyone else up. I normally straddle the two lanes near were the lanes merge now to stop the fuckers a trick I learned in Germany at least there the truck divers to the front/rear of you kept your space open so you could slide back in making a nice rolling road block. Over here the car driver st the back would move into your space!
  13. Dozy twats who leave 2 (or more FFS!) car length gaps in the queue at traffic lights. And then wait until the car in front of them has moved off before they decide to start moving. Why, just why, you fucking selfish mongs? Get two or more of these fuckwits together and the queue hardly moves before the lights turn red again.

    Then there are the ones who stop the obligatory 2 car lengths back, then proceed to move forward in one foot (maximum) increments, pausing for a few seconds after each foot of movement.

    Shift yer fuckin arrses, you barstewards!!!!!!!!!!!

    ...and relax...
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  14. Ooop here in Bradfordshire ( near 4 Para Pudsey ) there is a whole network of Asian cnuts ( I am not racist ) who blast around no seatbelts on - smoking joints - mobiles glued to their ear-not bothering to look at junctions etc etc, one twat nearly had me off me motorbike when he did a mental overtake by my local school-chased the twat shouting for him to get of his car - was shouting in me open faced lid for him to stop, calling him cnut, fcukking twat, wanker etc by all these school kids as they looked on in horror, I was fucking vexxed but the twat did more outragious overtaking nearly crashing into two cars-decided to cool off cos knowing this fcuking country I'd get done for caving the twatting cowards face in never mind him nearly killing me and a few others.
    Would like to know if any Bradfordians have similar experiences-my poorly Mums in hospital in BRI and I never take me bike over there due to these wankers and their shit driving skills - always take me car. They never get pulled by cops either.
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  15. Highway Code says you should use both lanes all the way to the roadworks then merge in turn.
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