Road Kill

Being a trucker i see a veriety of wild life smeared across the tarmac of this emerald isle, from the run of the mill rabbits ,cats,foxs to the more exotic badgers and otters. But yesterday took the buscuit, i almost ran into the carcass of a fully grown Bull ,The Fruggin thing was smack in the middleof the road and was still fresh ,the blood and snot were still flowing and the hooves were still atwitchin,with steam coming from various orifices.Now this was early o clock and i hadnt seen a moter for ages,and any way you dont hit a ton beef on the hoof and drive away!
There were some pretty tall trees next to the road may be it was nesting and slipped 8O ,or it could have fallen of the back of a lorry ( i see a lot of that :twisted: ) but i would have thought the driver should have noticed?.....But the strange thing is, on the return journey two houres later the beast and the splash marks had gone with out a trace.......cue twilight zone theme....... 8O
As a teenager, a long, long, long, long time ago,
We went driving across Australia, a small part of it anyway,
Driving along in family van Ma, Pa and 7 kids,
(We where a few short due to work commitments, and time off for good behaviour!)
Had been pretty uneventful trip all in all,
Some great stuff and had a few hairy nights listening to strange animals,
But every morning Pa did a head count and off we'd set, half day walking half-day driving.
So here we where driving along looking for a nice area to camp in when from nowhere a Kangaroo appears starts to hop towards us down the road,
Playing chicken!
As we near it jumps up and plowed feet first into the windscreen!
Feet still thrashing and kids all screaming!
We came to a stop and had to climb out over half mangled Kangaroo!
It was awful, we all felt terrible!
Pa worked out we could drive on for a few hours and get to a small town so Kangaroo was tied to roof,
No idea why,
I think my Ma was hoping for a decent burial or something I don't know.
So got to small town and found hotel,
Woke up owner Pa explained all to him,
He took mercy and brought us in.
Comfy beds and hots bath!
Next day we spent doing nothing and in the evening we had a slap up meal!
Yummy all was well...
Well, until Ma found out we'd all just eaten Kangaroo stew that is...
Until she died all you had to say to her was Skippy and she'd go off on one!

Road Kill can be used to do your bit for the environment and also relieve boredom whilst on exercise........

We used to rescue squirrels and other recently deceased rodents and tape them to the vehicle antenni in realistic climbing poses etc :twisted:

You get plenty of looks from passers by but with heavy traffic on the net you eventually have to get rid as they f**king stink as they slowly cook through to medium-rare 8O :wink:

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