RMP officer in the clarts.

If a woman sent me a pic of her dick I would definitely run a mile.....
Don't think of it as making an escape.

I'd have to check with the Olympics medical experts, but I suspect if she had a dick, she could probably overtake you.
 
Last edited:
I've often wondered at the strategic thinking behind genital exposure (or the more up to date equivalent; dick pix). Does the perpetrator think that such attentions are every girl's waking dream and that such an approach is a surefire winner?

Has there ever been an occasion when a recipient has suddenly become overcome with lust and screamed out, "How can I resist? Hold me back!"?

If a woman did it to a man, you'd think that she was a bunny boiler and probably run a mile (You would. You know you would).

Gays woulds probably do it and will probably meet with some measure of success. But everyone knows that they're wired up all wrong.
Mate, I've been in more naked bars in RMP messes than I've had Regimental Dinners. Theres girls I've worked with who have seen me bollocko more often than some of my wives.
 
I've often wondered at the strategic thinking behind genital exposure (or the more up to date equivalent; dick pix). Does the perpetrator think that such attentions are every girl's waking dream and that such an approach is a surefire winner?

Has there ever been an occasion when a recipient has suddenly become overcome with lust and screamed out, "How can I resist? Hold me back!"?

If a woman did it to a man, you'd think that she was a bunny boiler and probably run a mile (You would. You know you would).

Gays woulds probably do it and will probably meet with some measure of success. But everyone knows that they're wired up all wrong.
The few times that I came across ladies who liked to strip naked in public or in the presence of police, I found that they were the type of lady who I would much prefer kept their clothes on.

There was a young Asian girl aged 25 with her own flat in Chelsea where it was marked up on CAD that male officers should always go in pairs or with a female officer. I went there once on a call and she was extremly fit, wearing a short skirt. She appeared to be absent minded as she had forgotten to put on her knickers when she got up in the morning.

I noticed this as she was stood on a chair, bent over, asking us if the picture on the wall which she was adjusting, was straight. Obviously we had to point out that "No it's not quite straight, move slightly over to the right, no, too far, a bit over to the left. I think it needs to be a bit higher for best effect. Here let me hold the chair, I would hate you to fall and hurt yourself".

She was a very friendly and charming girl and I wondered why the Cad was marked up as such. Apparently according to the collater she suffered from psychiatric problems and had made allegation against her dentist, doctor, and various other peaple she had dealings with. There was concern that she may make allegations against police. But apparently she loved policemen (As obviously most hetro chicks do) and she never made any allegations against old bill. While always happy to attend calls at the venue, she had to be classed as a 'Danger F*ck.
 
Two cases within a month! in the old day's would this have been swept under the carpet and dealt with 'in house'. What goes on in the Mess stays in the Mess. Me Too has hit us also. But may be it is a quaint old regimental tradition to show newcomers in the Mess, on first meeting, your dick.
Perhaps in the kilt wearing Scottish regiments its to prove that you are not wearing anything under your kilt. Old Highland traditions and all that.

That would be my defence at my Court Martial anyway.
 
Mate, I've been in more naked bars in RMP messes than I've had Regimental Dinners. Theres girls I've worked with who have seen me bollocko more often than some of my wives.
Until I joined the TA, I had never heard of 'naked bar'. It certainly didn't happen in my old lot when I was a regular. Anyone who even suggested it would have been knocked out for being a Cecil.
 
Until I joined the TA, I had never heard of 'naked bar'. It certainly didn't happen in my old lot when I was a regular. Anyone who even suggested it would have been knocked out for being a Cecil.
I never heard of it in my regular service from 1971-87. I certainly performed a few Zulu Warriors. I never heard of it in 10 Para from 91-99. If we had, we would leave all that sort of thing to the Royal Marines anyway.
 
There was a young Asian girl aged 25 with her own flat in Chelsea where it was marked up on CAD that male officers should always go in pairs or with a female officer. I went there once on a call and she was extremly fit, wearing a short skirt. She appeared to be absent minded as she had forgotten to put on her knickers when she got up in the morning.

I noticed this as she was stood on a chair, bent over, asking us if the picture on the wall which she was adjusting, was straight. Obviously we had to point out that "No it's not quite straight, move slightly over to the right, no, too far, a bit over to the left. I think it needs to be a bit higher for best effect. Here let me hold the chair, I would hate you to fall and hurt yourself".
Did you wear body-cams... y'know, to protect everyone, as it were?
 
Did you wear body-cams... y'know, to protect everyone, as it were?
Sadly they werent invented then. This was twenty years ago. I remember that she called us alledging that somebody had been in her flat and moved the picture. Hence our help in putting it back. Normally you would think they were off there trolley but I think she just liked the attention from policemen in which we were happy to assist. Always insisted that she didn't hesitate to call us if she needed assistance.

I think she was just a cock teaser in which she was highly successfull. A rare thing - a good looking fit female exhibitionist. Most of that ilk tend to be mangy old drunken mingers.

Definitly a 'Danger F*ck though. Look don't touch.
 
Sadly they werent invented then. This was twenty years ago. I remember that she called us alledging that somebody had been in her flat and moved the picture. Hence our help in putting it back. Normally you would think they were off there trolley but I think she just liked the attention from policemen in which we were happy to assist. Always insisted that she didn't hesitate to call us if she needed assistance.

I think she was just a cock teaser in which she was highly successfull. A rare thing - a good looking fit female exhibitionist. Most of that ilk tend to be mangy old drunken mingers.

Definitly a 'Danger F*ck though. Look don't touch.
A case study for the Hot/ Crazy matrix?
 

woger wabbit

War Hero
"I basically said 'begone sir, begone'"

Bloody hell, did she fall out of a Jane Austen novel?

Faith sir, how could you use me so? I am but a poor maiden.
It all seems a bit of a pantomime to me, "begone sir", why wasn't she screaming the roof off to get attention??
 
Too many! There are a hell of a lot of ex squaddies doing time in civvy nick.
HO figures suggest they are not disproportionate to the general population.
If you mean ‘are currently doing time’, then not that many, probably.
If you mean ‘have been military at some time in their lives, even for one day’, then maybe more.
 

New Posts

Latest Threads

Top