Ritual suicide

Just been dumped on in a big way. after a few bottles of wine i sort of don't give a toss any more. so i thought i'd post in here and give everyone free rain to rip me to shreds, couldn't give a toss what for.
i need a fcuking good laugh so go for it. ex queens and int corps so that should give you more than enough ammunition.
Ex Int Corps? You're not that intelligent then or she wouldn't have dumped you. Or is it because you are a Queen? It's the end as we know it. Put some lead in your pocket and go for a swim off beachy head.
Revenge is said to be a dish best served cold, so the solution seems obvious. Kidnap her and store her dismembered body-parts in your chest freezer - apart from the obvious bit which you can keep in the fridge for a few weeks to get maximum use out of it.

Remember, if she dumped you it's her problem. It's not in any way related to the fact you're a boring hermer with the genitalia of a badly-hung gerbil.

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