...Among many that caused me to laugh out loud was the one about the check-in security x-ray machine being broken but they passed the bags through it manually...
That’s happened to me several times.
At Timbuktou I’ve also had the security guy stick a wand into a rucksack containing a laptop etc, heard it beep, and then waved me past.
On the other hand, for many years In Croatia they had a habit of setting the metal detector so high it will pick up the fillings in your teeth. But they knew this so waved you through anyway.