Discussion in 'Miscellaneous Jokes' started by Renut, Aug 10, 2011.

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  1. I saw a black guy carrying a TV down the street yesterday so I smashed him over the head with a shovel.

    I'd just like to take this opportunity to apologise to Argos and wish their delivery driver a speedy recovery.
    • Like Like x 3
  2. Ngongon Mwambi has to travel 5 miles everyday for fresh water and 7 miles for food.....................This is because the daft twat torched the Peckham Spar and the Tottenham KFC and now has to walk to Croydon for breakfast.
    He thanks the PM for the soft UK criminal Justice system which allows him free trainers looted from shops which eases his "Pain".
    For just a nineteen pence donation Royal Ordnance can supply him with one 9mm round to ease his pain permanently.
    • Like Like x 1
  3. phil245

    phil245 LE Book Reviewer

    I see Tottenham have signed a new Italian he is called Grabatelli
  4. Everton have refused to travel to play Tottenham on Saturday - they claim all the best gear has gone
  5. after rioters loot Carpet Right..Police say Tottenham now has Rug dealers on every street corner..
  6. The riots have spread to Ireland. Paddy smashed his computer screen trying to nick a pair of trainers from Ebay.
  7. The riots spread to Ireland, Paddy broke into Argos and stole all the catalogues.

    A man was arrested for torching the DFS shop in Croydon. It's not so bad, he has five years to pay the fine and he doesn't have to go to prison until 2013.

    Thieving and looting across the country. London calls it 'an abomination', Birmingham calls it 'a disgrace', Liverpool calls it 'a Tuesday.'
  8. Grumblegrunt

    Grumblegrunt LE Book Reviewer

    sounds like gloucester - they tried to break into primark FFS
  9. All these riots and people saying they didn't see it coming.... Well the kaiser chiefs did...
  10. Police should be adding Ariel non-bio to the water cannon - it says it stops the coloureds running
  11. "And the rioting seems to have spread to Canal Street in Manchester because we are getting reports of a lot of back doors being smashed in there."
  12. They did manage to set fire to a building though.....................

    It was derelict and the council was considering knocking it down!

    They were 'tweeting' last night about doing over Matalan, not the sharpest tools in the box in Gloucester.
  13. I love singing the Kaiser Chiefs when I'm out rioting

    Breaking into jewellery stores singing "Ruby, Ruby, Ruby"
  14. My racist jokes are getting a lot of dislikes today. It’s almost as if hundreds of darkies have all just got a new laptop or something.
    • Like Like x 1