Ringing in my ears...

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Rocketeer, Apr 13, 2005.

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  1. The advancing tide of technology is like a tsunami...

    When cell phones first came out they had similar ' ring tones' to what are laughingly called ' landlines' today..

    then someone decided that was untechie and we were sold bloops and beeps...

    then some nutter decided the beeps needed to be ' musical ' and we got flooded with nursery songs, snippets of pop tunes and snatches of classical music dit-dit-dotted at us when the thing ' rang '..

    then the carryphones came with a choice of 200 poptunes or the bloody London Philharmonic's catatogue of Wagnerian Opera playing in your pocket...

    well ' yesterday ' [ techologically speaking ] some California company came out with ' talking phonetones'.. you can download vocal snippets of either an ' Urban Rapper Tone ' [ Black Street Jive ] which says things like ' Whazup? ' or " Yo, Man Pick Up ' or some other pithy bit of repartee when the phone signals a call. Or you can get the ' Mafia " version where a Don Provolone type summons you to answer the call.. " Yo, Scumbag, pick up or I'll send the boys ' or some such..
    or you can get a nagging Jewish New York Mother type voice " Oy, Its a call, Maybe its the cute dentist. '..etc..

    inevitably, the resident PC types are condmning these feeble joke ' chimes' as being demeaning and propogating derogatory racial/ethnic streotypes.. etc., etc..

    so, to avoid all that nasty backlash you can go Today directly to the next level and get your cellphone equipped with the latest and greatest " Moantones "..

    Yup.. you can have as your ring signal, the sound of ecstasy and coitus tumultous as recorded by a ' world renowned' adult film ' artist '..
    Jenny McCarthy/Traci Lords can now ' cum ' on your phone when the bank calls to tell you they've turned down your loan..

    Set it to vibrate and stuff it in your pocket and wow your friends with the muffled voice and pocket writhings " Oh, baby,, yeah,, oh.. oh.. you..oh Yes YES!! Take me now!!"

    Its all crap and nonsense but, I'm sure some of you can find the website with a bit of idle googling, if you really feel the need to have your phone ' go off' in your pants at the next executive meeting or when the wife's mother calls..

    Beep -Boop and da,da,da,DAH!.. to you all..
     
  2. For many a long year I have sought a Ringtone that simulates "Call the hands" from a Bosun's pipe...
     
  3. I think that translates to 'Take your hands out of the bosun's pipe' in lubberspeak. 8O