Right and Wrong Answers

When asked by a Very Senior Officer:

"What is our contingency plan for an outbreak of swine flu"

Apparantly the correct answer is:

"I am just researching all of the available figures and data now Sir and will be collating them overnight in preparation for the planning and contingency conference first thing tomorrow morning"

The answer is never:

"errrr? Stay in bed, watch day time tele and a tot of rum in Lemsip Sir?"

Got me to thinking, what are the right and wrong answers to other Very Senior Officer questions?


War Hero
'Have you finished that in-depth study on that complex issue i tasked you with a month or so ago?'

Right: Yes sir, all over it like a rash, just waiting for the last few bits of info, it'll be with you by COP tomorow.

Wrong: F*ck me, i forgot all about. Well actually I just chinned it off because it was quite tricky, I figured you forget and it was a barking idea anyway.

Never quite had the minerals to do that.
Q: whats your name?

A: Sgt xxxxx


Q whats your name?

A:point at rank slide and nametag and say in a mong voice SAAARRRGGGEEENNNTTT xxxxx
A VSO visiting a TA Unit walks up to a section doing final checks before a patrol and asks the Patrol Commander: "So what's your job right now?"

Reply: "I work for the cooncil, sur."

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