Rig runs.

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Ravers, Nov 11, 2011.

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  1. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Some of my greatest memories are of epic nights out in foreign climes, dressed in clothing that would not look out of place on John Travolta in a gay bar in Soho, had it not been for the fact that they were given to me by her maj the q.

    Despite the gayness, it appears that women are genetically programmed to migrate toward large groups of lads dressed in uniform, especially if the uniform is white and involves flares. This is something I used fully to my advantage at every opportunity.

    Anyway as most of you will have noticed, this weekend is remembrance weekend and tomorrow is the Lord Mayors show. A chance enquiry from an old oppo got me thinking.

    I asked if he fancied a post LMS piss up, and he enquired "rig run?" rewind to 4 years ago and I would have given my right arm to smash up London dressed in my 1s, but these days, since I became a Gareth, it just doesn't have the same appeal.

    It's partly down to the fact that the army uniform is pretty gash, but mostly because pongos really frown upon getting hammered in rig and its strictly forbidden in most units. Why is this? You are missing a prime opportunity, some of the best fucks I've ever had have been due to the bagginess of my flares and jaunty angle of my cap. Get amongst it, embrace it. You haven't lived until you've been awoken by a copper while sleeping on a park bench at 7am because he was worried you might drop your cap in your own vomit.

    Anyway post your rig run dits here.
  2. Amsterdam,rig run to the brewery there,wish I could remember the run ashore!
  3. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    Exactly Barney.

    Now prepare for a stream of dits about the queens garden party where johnny pongo drank a little too much champers and had to get a taxi home.

    If your ones aren't covered in bodily fluids your career in the forces has been officially shit.

  4. Just remembered swamping in Gib,but it was in civvies,does that count?
  5. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer


    Swamping in civvies in gib is like saying "ooooh look at me, I once ate food."
  6. Does pissing yourself in your No. 1's at your own wedding count?
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  7. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I reckon that deserves an honourable mention.
  8. Thanks, although I must add that it was at the reception after we'd got the dancing and other shit out of the way and finally managed to get stuck in to the ale.

    Would have had more effect if it was while we were exchanging vows though, I must admit...
  9. Ravers, you was a Tiff - your rig looked shit! Fore & Aft rig makes birds wet.

    After just under 14 years RN I actually wore my Ice cream suit (tropics No1s) only once. That was in NewYork for fleet week.I can't remember what happened apart from I was late back on board in the morning. Was piped straight to the Jimmy's flat (with cap) and had leave stopped until.....secure!!!! The bloke I was adrift with gave a better excuse which went along the lines of "furthering international relations...". Paddy Hewitt Cumberland '96.

    Nos 1's Liverpool '93 Battle of Atlantic celebrations Royal Guard. Remember being fell in by Canning square??? and lots of office workers throwing bits of paper with phone numbers out of the window. I have vague memories of a police station being nearby and police women doing the same also.
    None of us got to see any of the bits of paper.
    Experienced adulation from multitude of scouser burds but was bussed back to Preston on completion so unable to nail any of them.

    Went ashore in rig in Boston,Mas, can't remember reason for rig run, think the mayor requested it and we would get free access to cinemas and shit. Spit-roasted a bird and her mate and put my cap on her head whilst doing her.

    Montrose - Porridgewogshire, Had freedom of city march in Nos 1's. Got shiters, couldnt find anything worthy to shag but still turned up onboard shiters. Was due 2-8's on gangway as Qm in morning and was clearly still drunk. Faked dental emergency and got transport provided to take me to Dundee Dental hospital and had a wisdom tooth removed! Was back on the gangway by 14:00 more fucked off painkillers than I would have been hungover.
  10. What is this strange Tongue in which you speak?

    Edited to add: Ravers, I've seen a photo of you in civvies. You were probably better off staying in uniform, to be honest.

    And another edit: Found it.

  11. 'tis "jack". Spoken by those who did better at school than those who, if they had paid better attention during English & maths could have worn a black beret instead of othetr colours.

    Anyway Arte..can we have a poem about this pleae?
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  12. Trust a matelot to big up wearing his uniform....This is UBER CHAD.

    Rig runs involve outfits made out of black maskers, owt you can source at the charidy shop down Taunton about 5 minutes before it closes and a metric fuck tonne of Sheppys

    Uniform drinking is big timing it and should be left for weddings (fucking bridesmaids) and Funerals (Smashing every bottle of port in the Town/City)

    You will fit in well as a Gareth methinks.

    Next you'll be wearing tour T-shirts down your civvy gym rather than using them to polish your car

    Dissapointingly predictable jack......I see you didn't fancy the RMR......
  13. Ravers

    Ravers LE Reviewer Book Reviewer

    I joined after tiffs ditched the gash PO rig with red badges.

    Seriously if you've never invaded a town mob handed dressed in your ice cream suit you're seriously missing out.
  14. Only ever done the drinking in uniform off camp thing a couple of times (because, as you say, the Army doesn't really like it).

    The best was Remembrance Sunday a while back. The drink started well before eleven with a couple of bottles of port 'to warm us up before the parade'. There were a couple of dozen of us doing the marching round the local village thing (the Regiment I was at sent small squads to quite a few local parades as well as the parade on camp) so once finished and dismissed the rifles were put into the van to be taken back by someone from the stores and we were invited to stay at the Legion for a few pints with the old boys.

    Those few pints turned into going to a local pub for dinner. Going to a local pub for dinner turned into staying to watch the football that afternoon. Watching the football turned into getting a taxi to another local pub to get some tea. Getting some scran turned into a taxi into town. We arrived at the main pub in town to find it dead. There was about ten or so of us left and when we walked in there were about five girls and a couple of civvie lads in there. As you say though, for some reason women like men in uniform (presumably because they believe the image and have never seen the sexual deviant truth). The girls were soon on their phones telling their mates about the arrival of uniformed men. Shortly afterwards the place looked like something out of Zulu as the local slags arrived. There were women appearing from fucking everywhere - they were coming through doors, they were coming through windows, I'm fairly sure there were more coming out of the toilets than there were going into them too.

    Of course, being married I couldn't go home with a local slapper. I did manage to nail one down a back alley (unfortunately not up her back alley though) before the missus came to pick me up though.

    It really is something the Army should do more of.
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