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Ridiculous shit installed in new cars ...

I can’t see how an automatic can anticipate off road conditions and it seems odd that someone would buy one expecting such. Is it even robust enough to be transferable to a 4x4?
An automatic can’t anticipate anything; they don’t have sensors that tell them what is round the next corner; they are all reactive. All modern automatics will occasionally find themselves in the wrong gear, especially those with relatively small turbo diesels that lack the torque of a big engine.

There are very few manual 4x4s available now. You can’t buy a manual Landcruiser, Landrover, G-Wagen. The G-Wagen has the same 9-speed ZF transmission found in your E-Class and most new Landrovers. Jeep are I think the last proper 4x4 manufacturer with a manual gearbox.
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
An automatic can’t anticipate anything; they don’t have sensors that tell them what is round the next corner; they are all reactive. All modern automatics will occasionally find themselves in the wrong gear, especially those with relatively small turbo diesels that lack the torque of a big engine.

There are very few manual 4x4s available now. You can’t buy a manual Landcruiser, Landrover, G-Wagen. The G-Wagen has the same 9-speed ZF transmission found in your E-Class and most new Landrovers. Jeep are I think the last proper 4x4 manufacturer with a manual gearbox.
Discovery 4 had manual gearbox options up to 2016 - albeit with 2.7 rather than 3.0 litre engines.
The key to getting an auto box to do what you want is understanding how it works, you'll never get a fast pullaway from a junction if you have the brake pedal buried in the floor, a light brake once you've stopped will have the 'box primed and ready for the 'go' pedal...
 
Discovery 4 had manual gearbox options up to 2016 - albeit with 2.7 rather than 3.0 litre engines.
The key to getting an auto box to do what you want is understanding how it works, you'll never get a fast pullaway from a junction if you have the brake pedal buried in the floor, a light brake once you've stopped will have the 'box primed and ready for the 'go' pedal...

I always use the Merc ‘hold’ facility while poised over the go pedal at lights ready to razz off old Ethel in her Honda Jazz.

It’s an immensely satisfying experience.
 
I've got those buttons on the stick, dealer called them paddles. Never used them and can't really see the need.
If I want to change down, I just push the accelerator a little harder and it goes down. Only do that to piss off the BMW drivers trying to overtake me on a roundabout.
I had a drive of one of those paddle cars a few years ago, fairly long drive from Port Talbot to London.
It was a VW Tigyy thingy, lovely blue metallic paint job and had those very expensive-£1k a pop- hub spinners on which makes it look like it's moving when stationary.
Playing with the paddles at random ensures lots of funny noises from the engine, together with kerbs jumping out and biting off the hub spinners.
Still, me and the erstwhile owner had a good chuckle about it when he got banged up for cocaine smuggling...I think it was donated to the fire brigade to practice chopping off roofs.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
An automatic can’t anticipate anything; they don’t have sensors that tell them what is round the next corner; they are all reactive. All modern automatics will occasionally find themselves in the wrong gear, especially those with relatively small turbo diesels that lack the torque of a big engine.

There are very few manual 4x4s available now. You can’t buy a manual Landcruiser, Landrover, G-Wagen. The G-Wagen has the same 9-speed ZF transmission found in your E-Class and most new Landrovers. Jeep are I think the last proper 4x4 manufacturer with a manual gearbox.
A person can’t tell what’s around the next corner but I’m happy my car seems to gear down approaching them dependent on type. If there’s something in front I’ve not anticipated I get a warning and also the car can apply brakes itself, how’s that for anticipation.
 

Joker62

ADC
Book Reviewer
A person can’t tell what’s around the next corner but I’m happy my car seems to gear down approaching them dependent on type. If there’s something in front I’ve not anticipated I get a warning and also the car can apply brakes itself, how’s that for anticipation.
Obviously needed when you reach your age :mrgreen:
 
A person can’t tell what’s around the next corner but I’m happy my car seems to gear down approaching them dependent on type. If there’s something in front I’ve not anticipated I get a warning and also the car can apply brakes itself, how’s that for anticipation.
The roads round here are steep and winding. I’ve yet to drive or ride in any modern two-litre (or thereabouts) multi-gear automatic that doesn’t find itself in the wrong gear occasionally. The reason they 9 gears is because their torque is delivered in a narrow rev band. It’s hardly surprising they occasionally get caught in the wrong gear.

Hazard warning and management systems are nothing special; a Toyota Corolla does much the same as your Merc. Neither have traction management systems anywhere near as capable as Landrovers. Their ability to find grip even with road tyres is seriously impressive.
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
The roads round here are steep and winding. I’ve yet to drive or ride in any modern two-litre (or thereabouts) multi-gear automatic that doesn’t find itself in the wrong gear occasionally. The reason they 9 gears is because their torque is delivered in a narrow rev band. It’s hardly surprising they occasionally get caught in the wrong gear.

Hazard warning and management systems are nothing special; a Toyota Corolla does much the same as your Merc. Neither have traction management systems anywhere near as capable as Landrovers. Their ability to find grip even with road tyres is seriously impressive.
We have a Toyota Corolla, it’s a CVT I think. It doesn’t do what the Mercedes does and is nowhere near as competent. If you find yourself in the wrong gear don’t you have shift paddles? In sport + mode it makes downward shifts very early on hills and before bends.
 
Today has been my best experience of this . The car was showing a system message I had no idea what it was. Reading the blood book the size of war and peace was not going to happen, so a Google later. I’m being told the car air freshener has run out, bloody behave your self car.!!
Well it’s not getting any better £50!! Yes that’s right £50 so the car smells less of my greggs.
He just told me like it was £5, no foreplay or even buying me a drink. He just bent me over and wanted £50 for the privilege. As an ex sapper I will be finding a way around that, even if I have to fix in some brut with gaffer tape.
 
We have a Toyota Corolla, it’s a CVT I think. It doesn’t do what the Mercedes does and is nowhere near as competent. If you find yourself in the wrong gear don’t you have shift paddles? In sport + mode it makes downward shifts very early on hills and before bends.
The Corolla I drove in Perth last year did everything you described your Merc doing. It wasn’t a CVT though. I have no experience of E-Class Mercedes; it’s not a car that is remotely appealing to me as it wouldn’t in any way fit in to our lifestyle. If you really want or need that kind of stuff, get a Tesla. But all this tech seems pointless to me unless you’re on motorways all the time.

Me, I value performance two hours up a gravel road far more than motorway driver aids; our cars rarely see a motorway and often see dirt roads. Last school holidays, we did nearly 3000 kms in ten days of which less than 300 was on motorways. That’s why we run a Landrover and a Landcruiser. Of course the Landrover has paddles; that’s what we were taking about when you interjected to tell me not to buy Landrovers as they are shite.

Next car will be a Defender to replace the Landcruiser. The only Mercedes anywhere near competitive is twice the price.
 
An automatic can’t anticipate anything; they don’t have sensors that tell them what is round the next corner; they are all reactive. All modern automatics will occasionally find themselves in the wrong gear, especially those with relatively small turbo diesels that lack the torque of a big engine.
That's not strictly true, the auto-box (Ok, auto controlled manual) in Volvo trucks (I-Shift with I-see) can do as it uses GPS to detect where the vehicle is, records what it did last time it drove that road and whether that was necessary or not. It then uses that info to decide what to do next time you drive that road.

For instance, there's a junction on a crossroads that I use whereby you're on the minor road, the main road is on the level and the minor road is climbing. Normally you'd set off, cross the level bit of road so it would change up then find yourself at the bottom of the climb away from the junction in too high a gear resulting in it then having to change down again and lose all momentum. One trip over that route and it now stays in a low gear as you cross the major road so it can tackle the impending climb. There's a couple of motorway banks (M1 J37 at Barnsley for example) where it would drop to 10th just before the summit but now goes over in 11th as it knows it will make it without the change.

Very clever stuff and it seems to work very well, except it on premium cars soon.
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
That's not strictly true, the auto-box (Ok, auto controlled manual) in Volvo trucks (I-Shift with I-see) can do as it uses GPS to detect where the vehicle is, records what it did last time it drove that road and whether that was necessary or not. It then uses that info to decide what to do next time you drive that road.

For instance, there's a junction on a crossroads that I use whereby you're on the minor road, the main road is on the level and the minor road is climbing. Normally you'd set off, cross the level bit of road so it would change up then find yourself at the bottom of the climb away from the junction in too high a gear resulting in it then having to change down again and lose all momentum. One trip over that route and it now stays in a low gear as you cross the major road so it can tackle the impending climb. There's a couple of motorway banks (M1 J37 at Barnsley for example) where it would drop to 10th just before the summit but now goes over in 11th as it knows it will make it without the change.

Very clever stuff and it seems to work very well, except it on premium cars soon.
How does it adjust for traffic / weather / change of load?
Not trolling, genuinely interested.
 

Truxx

LE
The battery isolators on Ag kit all have a KAM bypass that keep the vital ECU's on line or at least the memory and configurations ..... you are correct though in that it allows them to be parked for months and not drain battery power but the ECU "handshake" around the CAN takes much less than a minute even after several months and as engine start is now ECU initiated the thing won't start if it's not happy everything is online.... The current Range Rover is very slow to come on line after start and frequently not all of it does.....

A lot of AG kit now has EPL or Electric park brakes .

Don't think on any EPL system car, truck, or AG disconnecting the power releases the EPL ....they are all fail safe hence need power to release....... unlike the wife's old TVR that braked on the rear discs so if she parked it after an enthusiastic drive with hot brakes as the discs cooled so the handbrake would loose grip and off would roll Trevor ;-)

If you look at the value of a low spec tractor new it is more than many high end cars and higher spec farm kit is in mainstream super car price range ....as you say most higher spec farm kit now reports to the factory and dealer / user
a local ag contractor found himself in a dead machine in the middle of a field. He called the agent.Righty ho Mr X lets just contact the manufacturer for you...A few minutes later We have contacted the manufacturer for you and they say that as soon as you are up to dat e with your finance payments they will re-start the machine.....
 

Truxx

LE
I
How does it adjust for traffic / weather / change of load?
Not trolling, genuinely interested.
It takes data from other volvos that have recently passed the same route. It can work out its load from its own performance, thus if it takes three seconds longer day to get from 20 to 30 it knows it must be pulling X tons. If the wipers are on it must be raining etc.

DHL have them by the bucketload but many drivers dont like them and feel that somehow they are gutless and genetally get no familiarisation with them to appreciate the systems
 

jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
The Corolla I drove in Perth last year did everything you described your Merc doing. It wasn’t a CVT though. I have no experience of E-Class Mercedes; it’s not a car that is remotely appealing to me as it wouldn’t in any way fit in to our lifestyle. If you really want or need that kind of stuff, get a Tesla. But all this tech seems pointless to me unless you’re on motorways all the time.

Me, I value performance two hours up a gravel road far more than motorway driver aids; our cars rarely see a motorway and often see dirt roads. Last school holidays, we did nearly 3000 kms in ten days of which less than 300 was on motorways. That’s why we run a Landrover and a Landcruiser. Of course the Landrover has paddles; that’s what we were taking about when you interjected to tell me not to buy Landrovers as they are shite.

Next car will be a Defender to replace the Landcruiser. The only Mercedes anywhere near competitive is twice the price.
So talking about two cars you’ve no knowledge or interest ok, ok...
 
So talking about two cars you’ve no knowledge or interest ok, ok...
Which two cars? I simply said the Corolla I drove did what you described your Merc as doing; I’ve no idea if your precious Berlin taxi does more than you describes; I’ve no interest in an E-Class. We did test an M-Class when we bought the Discovery. It was, frankly, horrid.

You’re the one who entered into the discussion with me by describing Landrovers as shite. When was the last time you drove one?
 
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jarrod248

LE
Gallery Guru
Which two cars? I simply said the Corolla I drove did what you described your Merc as doing; I’ve no idea if your precious Berlin taxi does more than you describes; I’ve no interest in an E-Class. We did test an M-Class when we bought the Discovery. It was, frankly, horrid.

You’re the one who entered into the discussion with me by describing Landrovers as shite. When was the last time you drove one?
I did drive a Jaguar for a few weeks, they make them, not so good. West Yorkshire Police tried all their cars, rubbish, bought BMW after ditching Volvo.
A patient who was a National manager for Land Rover was embarrassed by them, so bad they change all bottom end in services without even telling the customers.
 
Backup sensors bee beep Beep BEEPETY F* beep with ten feet to go.
Don't humans have necks these days.
Edit: They're probably most fun while push parking.
Wish there was a way to deactivate that bloody thing. When I tow my trailer, I have to manover my car a couple of times to get the trailer back into my driveway and under the car port. Every time I put the car into reverse, those bloody reverse sensors go with automatically with the highest setting due to the trailer being detected close to my car.
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
They should be disabled if a trailer connection is detected - do you have the trailer lights connected when reversing?
Unless of course it's an aftermarket tow pack...
 

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