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Ridiculous shit installed in new cars ...

Ravers

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Anyone on here mentioned the VW / Audi “Soundaktor” yet?

Allow me to enlighten you.

Because modern cars are so well soundproofed and insulated, you don’t really get any engine noise anymore.

Great if you’re after comfort, but no good on hot hatches and the like where your inner hooligan wants a bit of engine growl.

BMWs solution to this is to play engine noises through the speakers, no really.

VW / Audi fit something called a “soundaktor” to the front bulkhead. It’s basically an electric motor that vibrates against the bulkhead to make a growling noise.

I have a Golf GTD which is fitted with one, thankfully you can turn it down on this car, but my mate’s Audi S3 has one that’s on all the time.

Every time you put your foot down it sounds like someone put an industrial spec dildo in a metal box.
 

Grownup_Rafbrat

LE
Book Reviewer
Anyone on here mentioned the VW / Audi “Soundaktor” yet?

Allow me to enlighten you.

Because modern cars are so well soundproofed and insulated, you don’t really get any engine noise anymore.

Great if you’re after comfort, but no good on hot hatches and the like where your inner hooligan wants a bit of engine growl.

BMWs solution to this is to play engine noises through the speakers, no really.

VW / Audi fit something called a “soundaktor” to the front bulkhead. It’s basically an electric motor that vibrates against the bulkhead to make a growling noise.

I have a Golf GTD which is fitted with one, thankfully you can turn it down on this car, but my mate’s Audi S3 has one that’s on all the time.

Every time you put your foot down it sounds like someone put an industrial spec dildo in a metal box.
And how do you know what that sounds like?

Those voyages must have seemed very very long;-)
 

AlienFTM

MIA
Book Reviewer
IPL, haven't heard that in years. You'll be cold boot straping next.
Neither have I. I retired 5½ years ago.
 
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Electronic emergency brake. How, yes this has been addressed before, how the hell can you yank on your handle and show the "girls, middle aged women, pensioners" that you are cool.
Last time I handbrake turned It cost me two new tires and an interesting new contract.
They were piss poor tyres. :)
 

OneTenner

LE
Book Reviewer
I had to take the front wheel of my E350 to change the xenon bulb , theres a little flap that allows you to get your hand in.
Should've just turned the steering to full lock.... ;)
 

Niamac

GCM
Have I ever told you how much I detest main dealers?
Agreed. I've got an independent who looks after the SAAB. He is good, flexible and has saved me a bit of money in the past (at the expense of SAAB but that's another story). Like most in the motor trade he's a bit of a bandit but he is reasonable and I can't really complain.
 
Should've just turned the steering to full lock.... ;)
Still no chance of getting my hands in , 235 tyres, taking the wheel off did highlight what ******* my tyre dealers are , I had to jump on a 2` breaker bar to loosen the wheel bolts , the twats had tightened with an air wrench , had I had a puncture I`d have never got the wheel off with MB wrench.
 
Anyone on here mentioned the VW / Audi “Soundaktor” yet?

Allow me to enlighten you.

Because modern cars are so well soundproofed and insulated, you don’t really get any engine noise anymore.

Great if you’re after comfort, but no good on hot hatches and the like where your inner hooligan wants a bit of engine growl.

BMWs solution to this is to play engine noises through the speakers, no really.

VW / Audi fit something called a “soundaktor” to the front bulkhead. It’s basically an electric motor that vibrates against the bulkhead to make a growling noise.

I have a Golf GTD which is fitted with one, thankfully you can turn it down on this car, but my mate’s Audi S3 has one that’s on all the time.

Every time you put your foot down it sounds like someone put an industrial spec dildo in a metal box.
Gone are the days when the only sound you could hear in your Rolls Royce at 60mph was the ticking of the clock.
 
My work drive is a Toyota Hilux crewcab diesel 4 wheel drive ute, which is as far as I am concerned is a great car, just glad I don't pay the service and fuel bills. My only gripe is the headlights do not have an off switch, there is headlights, sidelights and auto. The lights come on and off based on a light sensor, which does not equate to what I would consider to be poor light conditions, minor gripe really but it does annoy me.
 
Absolutely and the norm now........
Field has no need to be previously mapped even ......the tractor will have GPS often to 1 cm accuracy and knows the width of the spray booms so can produce a "coverage map" of where its been and also if the booms were turned on or not . The latest sprayers have individual nozzle control so can taper boom shut off to prevent overspray or double dosage ..... in theory the driver could just drive aimlessly round the field until the in cab display showed he'd sprayed everything ( the map on the screen changes colour to show the covered area) and with this system would only have sprayed everything once .
Typical spayer booms are 24 meters and usually used to have just 5 sections that could individually be turned off ...before guidance this was a set of the pants/eye judgement by the driver .
Ferts spreaders and also drills now use the same section control .....this is driven by minimizing inputs and in ferts spreaders and sprayers for environmental reasons .

Makes me smile when farmers and AG techs are still thought of as being "strong in the arm and thick in the head"

The 20 something year old who comes out to fix a tractor often knows more about Satellite imagery / guidance than most other industry's....is an expert in Hydraulics / engines and transmission's, modern cutting edge electrics and unlike your techs is working in all disciplines not specialising in one ......in the middle of a field on kit worth many times that of a Ferrari ..... and yet is regarded at the bottom of the pile when it comes to engineering or his worth ....... most schools send the guys who struggle to read or write to Agricultural college because they think he will be "good with his hands".....
A big problem for dealers trying to find the next generation of techs....... good ones are a rare breed of intelligence and the willingness to lay under a machine in the cold and wet in 4 inches of shit to try and repair something that is made to incredibly fine tolerances or is working to milliamps resistances .

At great risk of severe thread drift, I was reading an interesting book by one of those finance masters of the universe a few years ago. He is a septic and graduated in finance at a time when all his contemporaries were graduating as engineers to get jobs in GM or Ford or whatever, at that time finance was regarded as a fusty old discipline of interest only to nerds and oddballs.

Now he says US universities are turning out tens of thousands of finance graduates a year, all hoping to get jobs in Wall Street that they can't all possibly get. The world simply does not need so many finance experts.

So what does the world need? Simple, farmers. With a world population of seven billion and rising, all of them getting richer and expecting to eat high carb, high protein diets we need farmers. And yet around the world the average age of farmers is 50+, in Japan it is 70+. Where is the food going to come from to feed the world? It's not going to come from finance graduates.

You want to know the trend to bet on for the future? Farming and agricultural-related industries.

An interesting theory.
 

tgo

War Hero
How these things start: EU regs state new cars must be fitted with x , lets say in this instance TC (traction control) but it's ok there's an OFF button (snigger) a few years down the line it goes on automatically every time you start the engine. (don't worry there's an OFF button) aAyear or two after that, the OFF button mysteriously vanishes.

Latest wheezes include lights that now don't have an OFF switch, auto brake 'assistance' that is at the 'goes on automatically every engine start' stage, and 'lane control' where the car will take action if it senses you moving out of lane, also at the auto engine start stage.

More recent still is the 'detect speed limit and adjust car speed to suit' this is still only at the 'you can use it if you want to'stage. For now.

I realise these are all tentative steps on the road to full automation but my god if you've been driving for more than a few years and are used to you know, doing it for yourself, it's all unwelcome and in the case of lane assist and auto brake, verging on making it more dangerous than doing it yourself.

Isn't progress wonderful.
 
At great risk of severe thread drift, I was reading an interesting book by one of those finance masters of the universe a few years ago. He is a septic and graduated in finance at a time when all his contemporaries were graduating as engineers to get jobs in GM or Ford or whatever, at that time finance was regarded as a fusty old discipline of interest only to nerds and oddballs.

Now he says US universities are turning out tens of thousands of finance graduates a year, all hoping to get jobs in Wall Street that they can't all possibly get. The world simply does not need so many finance experts.

So what does the world need? Simple, farmers. With a world population of seven billion and rising, all of them getting richer and expecting to eat high carb, high protein diets we need farmers. And yet around the world the average age of farmers is 50+, in Japan it is 70+. Where is the food going to come from to feed the world? It's not going to come from finance graduates.

You want to know the trend to bet on for the future? Farming and agricultural-related industries.

An interesting theory.

Id suggest all those graduates are ending up in car design? Millennials giving the world what they think the world wants, 23 pages on this thread refers.

Some may have seen the Simpsons episode where Homer connects with his long lost brother, Herb, voiced by Danny deVito. Herb is successful but has no family so is delighted to be part of the Simpson kids’ world.

He’s a car manufacturer and sacks all his highly paid designers to get Homer to design the car for the average guy which on the face of it seems like a smart move.

At this point the tale loses all credibility in the context of this thread because Homer predictably designs a car for Homer who’s someone at variance with “average” but the concept is IMHO a very good one.

Bill Bryson also has a go at car manufacturers, pointing out that his Ford Excreta has enough cup holders of sufficient size to accommodate something like 2 gallons of fluid per seat occupant.
 
O K now my gripe with them is why do they apparently start to degrade and Perish after three or so years even if you’re doing minimal mileage. Spoke to my local supplier and seems to have no clue.

Because like everything else, they have built in redundancy and are built to the minimum quality sufficient to get them to the day after the warranty expires.

I posted a few years back on my unerring ability to purchase cars with recurring faults. As the thread title is “ridiculous shit installed in cars”, I find it incredible that poorly designed items seem to find their way onto cars and go on to fail in vast numbers with manufacturers only taking action when the public anger grows to a level that is no longer ignorable. Quite literally, ridiculous shit installed in cars. I’m not talking silly gizmos here, I’m talking critical components, some safety related, such as the Corsa brake system manifold or the Zafira heater that was prone to catching fire or Renault ignition coils that fail after 3 months, seven, yes, SEVEN times.

Just about any fault that you experience in an item you’d reasonably expect to last the lifetime of the car can be Googled and odds on, it’s a “known fault”. The Corsa brake manifold was a £1000 job at a Vauxhall dealer but one enterprising guy has made a presumably tidy living reconditioning them for £100 with any local garage whipping it out / in for about £20.

It‘s a scam and a scandal.

And breathe.
 
Id suggest all those graduates are ending up in car design? Millennials giving the world what they think the world wants, 23 pages on this thread refers.

Some may have seen the Simpsons episode where Homer connects with his long lost brother, Herb, voiced by Danny deVito. Herb is successful but has no family so is delighted to be part of the Simpson kids’ world.

He’s a car manufacturer and sacks all his highly paid designers to get Homer to design the car for the average guy which on the face of it seems like a smart move.

Ditto safety features

Pox ridden seat belt alarms

A pillars now covering half the frontal area - so the car is much safer in the event of a crash - which would be great if that wasn t offest by the 50% increase in having an accident because they create a blind spot even Stevie wonder would complain about.

Pox ridden seat belt alarms

Reverse sensors that have a fit it theres a twig withinn 5 metre of the rear quarter

Pox ridden seatbelt alarms

doors that auro lock within 10 meters of pulling off

The the other useful features
Automatic Remote locking which means if you want to get something off the passenger seat you have to go round the back of the car - because as soon as you step past the bonnet to go round it locks.
 

aardvark64

War Hero
A Hyundai hire car I used once upon a time had a feature that qualifies surely? It was an overlay on the rear-view mirror that told me what the heading of the car was in cardinal and ordinal (intercardinal) points.

Why did the designers think I needed to know what direction the car was heading in while I'm looking in the rear-view mirror? Beats me...
 

Legs

ADC
Book Reviewer
<snip>

More recent still is the 'detect speed limit and adjust car speed to suit' this is still only at the 'you can use it if you want to'stage. For now.

<snip>

Isn't progress wonderful.

See my remarks on the same subject a few pages ago. This will need a lot of work before it is safe to install as a permanent piece of tech.

Automatic Speed Limiter. Sounds like a great safety thing. The car recognises speed limit signs and (if the thing is switched on - which it never is after the first time I used it) adjusts your speed down to whatever the speed limit sign is. This is something that the Government want to be fitted to all cars. Yeah. Great. Except that if you are going down a dual carriageway at the legal speed of 70mph, and you pass a junction with a 30mph sign, the car thinks that that means you. So it slams on the anchors! I only had to experience that once before I switched the bloody thing off. Seeing a coach approaching rapidly from behind as your car brakes without warning, and seeing all the cars take emergency action around you with horns blaring is not my idea of fun.
 
Because like everything else, they have built in redundancy and are built to the minimum quality sufficient to get them to the day after the warranty expires.

I posted a few years back on my unerring ability to purchase cars with recurring faults. As the thread title is “ridiculous shit installed in cars”, I find it incredible that poorly designed items seem to find their way onto cars and go on to fail in vast numbers with manufacturers only taking action when the public anger grows to a level that is no longer ignorable. Quite literally, ridiculous shit installed in cars. I’m not talking silly gizmos here, I’m talking critical components, some safety related, such as the Corsa brake system manifold or the Zafira heater that was prone to catching fire or Renault ignition coils that fail after 3 months, seven, yes, SEVEN times.

Just about any fault that you experience in an item you’d reasonably expect to last the lifetime of the car can be Googled and odds on, it’s a “known fault”. The Corsa brake manifold was a £1000 job at a Vauxhall dealer but one enterprising guy has made a presumably tidy living reconditioning them for £100 with any local garage whipping it out / in for about £20.

It‘s a scam and a scandal.

And breathe.
On tyres that seems a rather more modern issue. I know for example that new tyres are a requirement annually in places like Sweden. But I think everyone has had issues with built in obsolescence. But one issue I have been trying to get to grips with is the definition of “lifetime guarantee.”
 
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