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Revised hand-washing advice

It has now been several weeks since Boris issued his famous hand-washing advice, namely singing Happy Birthday twice in order to ensure that hands are scrubbed adequately.

I'm worried that the populace has become complacent in the intervening weeks, not helped by Boris being hospitalised and nobody taking his place to stress the need to sing Happy Birthday. I suspect that many are now just giving their hands a quick rinse without considering the consequences.

I would like to reinforce Boris's good advice and exhort you all to not just sing Happy Birthday but to sing at the top of your voice. This will not only ensure good hygiene but also exercise your lungs, increasing your lung capacity and improving oxygenation of your blood - a key aid to fighting off the Covid nastiness.

For the benefit of those who have forgotten the words, the song goes like this:

(to the tune of Happy Birthday)
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear puttees,
Happy Birthday to you.

(Sing twice)

Yes, today is my birthday - and I'll be listening to check whether you're singing loud enough. Defaulters will be confined to barracks for at least two weeks.
 
Funny that. Chris Cuomo, whose telly program on CNN I like, was pushing the same message on telly here in the US. Just like Boris he went down too.
 
Funny that. Chris Cuomo, whose telly program on CNN I like, was pushing the same message on telly here in the US. Just like Boris he went down too.
I'm surprised that he knew when my birthday is. I suppose his illness explains why he hasn't sent a card.
 
I'm surprised that he knew when my birthday is. I suppose his illness explains why he hasn't sent a card.

He is a well informed chap, personable too, so you can probably safely expect a card when he is up and around again.

Me, twas my birthday a week or so ago, so I will wish you a good un sir.
 
Happy birthday.
But are you of an age now where you must stay indoors for your own safety, sat in your armchair in front of the TV smelling faintly of cabbages?
 

Auld-Yin

ADC
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
Reviews Editor
F*CK that advice - just look what happened to Boris! No doubt he washed all his immunity off his hands.

Where are you holding the Birthday Party? Will it be fancy dress? :)

Happy birthday anyhoo.
 

Tool

LE
Before you get the ditty, what kind of cake did you bring us?


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ancienturion

LE
Book Reviewer
It has now been several weeks since Boris issued his famous hand-washing advice, namely singing Happy Birthday twice in order to ensure that hands are scrubbed adequately.

I'm worried that the populace has become complacent in the intervening weeks, not helped by Boris being hospitalised and nobody taking his place to stress the need to sing Happy Birthday. I suspect that many are now just giving their hands a quick rinse without considering the consequences.

I would like to reinforce Boris's good advice and exhort you all to not just sing Happy Birthday but to sing at the top of your voice. This will not only ensure good hygiene but also exercise your lungs, increasing your lung capacity and improving oxygenation of your blood - a key aid to fighting off the Covid nastiness.

For the benefit of those who have forgotten the words, the song goes like this:

(to the tune of Happy Birthday)
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear puttees,
Happy Birthday to you.

(Sing twice)

Yes, today is my birthday - and I'll be listening to check whether you're singing loud enough. Defaulters will be confined to barracks for at least two weeks.

I feel it's long enough now to be waiting with baited breath.




Oh, Happy birthday as well.
 
Boris sings happy birthday every day and has been doing so for some while. It’s because each day might just be one of his children’s birthdays somewhere in the world...
 
Never mind about washing your hands how about taking those Puttees off you've been wearing all these years and donating them to a medical lab, apart from honking, the old sticky DNA probably contains the Holy Grail of Immunity codes! You'll get a write up in the Sun "Our 'Ero", April 14th will become Happy Birthday Saint Puttee day and everywhere you walk people will point and whisper "Praise be the Lord, that's him, the Man Who Saved the World."

(to the tune of Happy Birthday)
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday Saint Puttees,
Thanks for wanking for us,

(Sing twice)
 

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