Revenge!

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Phoenix57, Apr 3, 2007.

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  1. Someone has crossed my path recently and whilst I’m not usually the vindictive type I think this time ill make an exception. I’m trying to think of a “cunning plan” to exact revenge on said path crosser and thought I’d put it out to the combined wisdom of ARRSE. Nothing is to low.

    In your own time; go on…………
     
  2. Shag their partner. Especailly is they are female and fit. I take it you are male not some hormone charged doris.
     
  3. Depends what said person has done. Punishment should fit the crime. What happened?
     
  4. Surprise them in their room at 2 in the morning and dry bum hate-fcuk them. Don't forget to throw in a couple of kidney punches for good measure.
     
  5. Abduct him, his wife and kids, and his parents. Rape them all, break their backs with a cricket bat and melt their faces with a 2000w Tefal steam iron. Then throw yourself in the back of a garbage compacter.
    That'll teach him that you're not a man to be trifled with.
     
  6. Scald them with boiling water, then arrange a car-crash - this to allow you to hold them in the flames so that the injuries are associated with the crash.

    Apparently you get only 7 years, but you are expected to serve half of it - even if it is a 4 month old baby (see BBC Link)

    The court saw that as a 'substantial sentence', so you'll get less if it's only an adult
     
  7. Surely having an IQ of 75 is fairly unremarkable in Lincolnshire. Is he a lecturer at the local University?
     
  8. I was thinking something that was in between hiding his pens and raping his family.
     
  9. How about raping his pens, AND hiding his family?
     
  10. how were you crossed Pheonix, I'm with stabandswat, punishment should fit the crime, and a nosey with it!
     

  11. Phoneix lets forget your thing for a second

    and we should all use our collective cunning to get back at

    Mr 75 IQ for what he did to that Baby
     
  12. I know, crap in one of his ammo pouches! Works every time...
     
  13. humiliate him in front of his friends by sticking your tongue out and calling him a big fat nincompoop. That`ll teach the bastard not to mess with you ever again
     
  14. I to have recently had cause to get my revenge on a slimeball lowlife, so his number is now, on several toilet walls, in the care of some very nice men in Iraq, who happily gave him a ring. His email address is on a couple of very nice gay websites, oh and to my knowledge his phone numbers is being distributed to some very seedy bars in Holland, so the saying is true, revenge is a dish best served cold....
     
  15. Put up a fence.