A week before our little girl's first birthday, her father and I were invited to a wedding. All went well,...... until him and his cousin started chatting up two women who were also there.
Next thing,...... they'd all disappeared!
Turns out they'd all gone off to a nearby pub for a 'friendly' drink!
His family (two aunt's and a cousin) started going on about how I shouldn't put up with it etc,.... really wound me up! Back home, I'd just bathed the baby, when he came strolling it and told me that he was going out for the evening with his cousin and these two women! I threw a fit, said he wasn't going anywhere,...... in true b@st@rd style' he said he was knackered and was gonna have a sleep first (he was p!ssed). Next thing I knew, he was throwing up!
He'd lost his two front teeth after an accident on his bike years before, so he had false one's..... and because he was being so violently sick, he took them out and left them on the bathroom windowsill!
BIG MISTAKE!!!
I waited till he'd gone back to bed,.... and dropped them down the loo, then flushed it! Bugga, they wouldn't go,..... I tried dozens of times, no matter what, they just wouldn't go! I was gutted! So,..... I hid them instead!
Next morning, I arrived downstairs... and gummygob was standing in the kitchen...... the conversation went summat like this.....
Him: Ok, where's me teeth
Me: What teeth?
Him: The teeth I left on the bathroom windowsill
Me: Oh them,... they've gone
Him: Yeah yeah, give me em now
Me: Haven't gottem
Him: I gotta be at work in ten minutes, gimme me teeth
Me: I ain't got them, are you deaf?
Him: Where are they?
Me: I flushed 'em down the loo,... ask the baby, she waved bye bye to em!
Him: You're joking?
Me: Am I laughing?
Him: I gotta be at work,.... where are they?
Me: I just told you
(by now I was laughing)
Him: Look, I can't go to work without my teeth
Me: Well you'll have to go see the dentist tomorrow and get some more
Him: You're not kidding are yer?
After making him 20 mins late already, I decided to let him have them back,.... the look on his face was one of sheer relief. I handed over the teeth, watched as he popped them in his mouth, then burst out laughing.....
Him: What are you laughing at?
Me: Hahahahahaha
Him: Are you mad or what?
Me: No, you are, I really DID put them down the loo but they wouldn't flush away..... and you've just put them in without washing them first!
