Revenge of the Missus and those Toyota Yaris Adverts

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by Your_Mums_Pal, Jan 8, 2011.

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  1. Anybody heard those adverts on the radio??

    They're basically advertising the Yaris is a birds motor, which it is really (and I fucking own one). Basically it's a lad's answering machine and he claims that no he doesn't do hypnotherapy or massage or that he isn't some bloke called Raul looking for love and that it's just his bird getting her own back because he got a spot of mud on her car or left an empty burger box on the back seat. At the end it turns out he's a plumber or bricklayer. So she fucks with his livelihood to get her own back for messing her car...aye, nice one.

    I keep hearing them because I'm stuck on the nightshift with only the radio and ARRSE for company. Problem is that they keep reminding me of the vengefulness of my own missus. She gets her own back all the time with wee things like turning all the mach-heads on my guitars so that they're completely out of tune or the string is about to snap or telling my dad that I wasn't unwell that day he needed me, I was in fact fucking her instead of going round to his to help him paint his living room. She once shook up a bottle of coke before handing it to me during dinner and pissed herself when I ended up covered in it. She does this when I forget to wash the dishes or don't clean the bog after plastering it in shit, the usual nonsense.

    The worse case was after I had told her dad that she was on the pill (honest mistake, he asked if we planned to have children) and as they're a very Catholic family, she didn't want him to know. It was an honest mistake. For vengance a few days later she put a fuckload of CDs, DVDs and old Xbox games I owned into the wheelie bin when it was due to be collected. It's pretty tame and sadly very petty and childish but I was fucking raging, especially when she admitted to why a week later.

    Just wondered if anybody else suffers at the hands of their significant others.
  2. Welcome to relationships, don't worry they only get worse. You could ditch her and get another but you'd be deluding yourself if you thought things would get any better.
  3. I think, even as a young couple just 'starting out', we both realise that we're fucked and more or less stuck with each other.

    I just wish I had the savvy for getting my own back that she does. I'd end up killing her sister or something if I was trying to be vengeful.
  4. Don't sink to the same level it'll just make things worse. I think I'd have been better as a lighthouse keeper.
  5. Have you considered investing in a shovel?

  6. This being the NAAFI I suggest you just fuck her sister (if she's fit of course)
  7. Starting to wonder if any of the blokes on here would actually admit to their missus getting one over on them.

    I actually tried to fuck her sister before I ended up fucking her. It failed so badly that her sister hates me now.
  8. If anyone goes in my Mazda they need their jabs.
  9. Are you mad that's what partners do. Don't be predictable that's my advice but what the fuck would I know.
  10. TBH I'd like to beat the living shit out of you, just so you could pass it on to her and both get a life. You sad fucks, do you really think that's what life's about? You don't know what hard up is until you've fucked a NAAFI manageress and, unfortunately I've fucked three in my time and one of those was an all-nighter (BMH Hannover - oh, the shame) anyway, enough of that, get a life FFS!
  11. That's always the way, you go for the better model and you get stuck with the moody stuck up dross who likes to try and drive you insane....or is that just me?

    Or do as Markintime says and hit the rebelious bitch
  12. I need more life experience...I just don't know where the fuck to get it :)
  13. Your local NAAFI?
  14. why dont you start by cleaning to loo after youve taken a crap in it....nothing worse than going to the shitter and it looks like the inside of a marmite jar....

    do the dishes and get her to dry up...

    if she continues to be a pain in the arse then......

    i seriously suggest lacing the gusset of her smalls with either ralgex or strong itching powder!..
  15. if your a bit of a dab hand in the kitchen i suggest you make her dinner. for this you will need:

    mushrooms, onion,1 x tin of dog food!...make her a pie or a stew, of course you will make 2 dishes one with dog food and one without, just make sure the one you have isnt dog food.