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Revenge is a dish best served cold (apparently).....

#1
I was sitting here in my tower, overlooking the dross of The Sun's website when I came across this PAGE. Inviting isn't it?

Being as imaginative as a goldfish, I knew from the outset I would need to enlist some help but it got my mind thinking. Within the full glare of the internet, could we, the bold collective of Arrse, construct a military related story to entrap our man Newton-Dunce and expose the idiot for what he is?

As far as I see it, there are three potential outcomes from this capper, the first being that if ND happens to cast an eye over this little scheme, he'll research his stories a little further, for fear of being made to look a prick by Arrse.

Secondly, if he doesn't see this, we manage to cobble together a story and get them to publish it, the 'plot' as it were, was already in the public domain and we'll have made ND look a prick for not having researched his stories.

The third outcome is that this idea gets quashed by the Admin's and is sent to the hole.

So I am looking for 'volunteers' and a credible story that can be beefed up with photos.

Takers??
 
#3
What kind of stories is The Sun looking for?

Anything you can see being published in the paper
So we can copy and paste an old Sun article and sue them if they don't stump up?
 
#4
Bravo why dont you sell a story of Allegedly pisssed off soldiers making stories up to get them to cough up cash, ah ha , see where coming from.
 

chimera

LE
Moderator
#6
I love the line "..a reporter will check the facts..."

i.e. "... a reporter will see if the facts will make a juicy story, and if they don't will make some up..."
 
#7
Captain Deepthroat - A high priced whore in Whitehall tells all?

Rent an Army helicopter. Squaddies offering sight seeing tours to wealthy American tourists?

Squaddies throwing potatoes at 'terrorists' in Iraq due to shortage of rounds?
 

ugly

LE
Moderator
#9
This could be another Sven sheihk sting but only much funnier. Ity will have to be lewd, tales of injured squaddies wont interest him. A senior officer bonking someone elses wife would be good or better still a planned coup!
 
#10
ugly said:
This could be another Sven sheihk sting but only much funnier. Ity will have to be lewd, tales of injured squaddies wont interest him. A senior officer bonking someone elses wife would be good or better still a planned coup!
I think if we start planning for that, it would quickly become reality.
 
#11
Planned coup, nah, we might just give away the real one.
 
#12
I'm in, it crossed my mind today also, little fcuker that he is. It has to be lurid and involve "top brass" and "sex shocker" and possible "tipped for the top" for extra points, happy to help in anyway i can, Mods be willing.
 
#13
How about it involved some dodgy shenanigans on behalf of a rival rag?

You know, 'Daily Andrex in honeypot sting shame' - a lurid tale of unscrupulous editors conspiring to drag the name of HM forces into the mud by entrapping Senior Officers in a web of sex and betrayal.
By Gum, I've come over all aquiver...
 
#14
Bravo2nothing said:
Captain Deepthroat - A high priced whore in Whitehall tells all?

Rent an Army helicopter. Squaddies offering sight seeing tours to wealthy American tourists?

Squaddies throwing potatoes at 'terrorists' in Iraq due to shortage of rounds?
We can't use these theyre all based on fact :)
 
#15
Keep it simple. Talk of coups, blood on the streets, tanks on Whitehall, never sold a single copy.

Tits. Think tits. It's the Scum. It's gonna take tits, and lots of them.
 
B

Biscuits_AB

Guest
#16
ARMY WEBSITE SHOCKER

An infamous unofficial Army website is at the centre of an MOD investigation having been uncovered as nothing more than a front for 'dogging', booze fuelled group sex sessions and an avenue for Royal Navy personnel trying to remember what is was like to be a proper bloke.

An 'Insider' said "the All Ranks Rumpypumpy & Sex Exchange' or ARRSE for short is nothing more than a front for the immoral activities of Regular and TA soldiers......and their wives! There's no point in reporting it o the RMP as they are all pissed up and naked in the bar. I just don't know what to do".

UP THE ARRSE

Our source, who is close to the centre of the activities, has named some of the more prolific individuals, but we will spin this out for a day or two just so that you'll keep buying our 'paper'. It is alleged that ARRSE has supporters within Whitehall who are prepared to turn a blind eye to the sordid goings on.....when they are not 'mounting' operations themselves.

Ooooo LETS PRINT SOME PHOTOS OF SOME TITS, THAT'LL BOOST SALES

One of the more sickening apsects of this website is referred to as the 'Gallery'. Despite the suggestion your SUN can reveal that it contains no 'artistic' content whatsoever. The 'Gallery' is nothing more than a freak show, depicting wild drunken parties, ugly wimmin and several interesting photographs of a transvestite who calls himself 'Sarah Jane'. We understand that 'Sarah Jane' is a 'highly decorated' Senior Non Commissioned Officer in the elite Adjutant General's Corps (Special Pay Service).

WHY SPOIL A GOOD STORY WITH THE TRUTH?

If you have any information that you think the Sun would be interested in, contact ace reporter Tom Newton-Cunte, who'll make it worth your while. We'd especially be interested in some dirty photos, so that we can get up on that moral highground and get the b*stards sacked.
 
#17
Nosher361 said:
Keep it simple. Talk of coups, blood on the streets, tanks on Whitehall, never sold a single copy.

Tits. Think tits. It's the Scum. It's gonna take tits, and lots of them
.
Think Kira Cochrane - that other top notch journalist. Behind her horsey teeth lay a huge pair of knockers that *almost* poke out further than her flabby belly.

"Urined up squaddie humps womens' section journalist after a day out on the urine with Officer Harry, the CGS, biscuits_ab and jordan at deepcut"

edited to add deepcut reference as no tabloid headline would be complete without one
 
#18
Senior officer fraud would have them salivating:

The Sun Exclusive

"top brass sells military fuel wholesale while soldiers die through lack of helicopter availability

The Sun can today reveal that top brass at ??? depot are flogging military diesel to transport firms at discount prices. A full Colonel was secretly filmed boasting of his profitable sideline at a whorehouse in Aldershot that was being bugged by a police vice squad.

As the depraved Colonel Smith boasted to an audience of two admiring naked hookers before they performed an unnatural act with a donkey for him, it became clear that he has amassed a personal fortune over several years of ripping off our brave lads"

Refine that a little - someone'l bite. Fraud, senior officers, hookers. No sweat.
 
G

Goku

Guest
#19
botfeckid said:
Refine that a little - someone'l bite. Fraud, senior officers, hookers. No sweat.
I’m prepared to dress as a full Colonel and pose for a picture with a room full of hookers if it helps the cause.
I’ll even throw in a donkey :D
 
#20
Doesn't he read Arrse - he's probably looking at this and thinking "I can use that one & that one"
 

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