Retuning faulty goods - a result

#1
At my wifes behest I had to return a faulty hoover to a large well known electrical retailer, it was 5 weeks (35 days) old and was f*cked.

On presenting the f*cked item to a weasel boy who's badge claimed he was a "Customer Service Advisor"

I said, "it's well fucked, refund please"

Weasel Boy said "How long have you had it"

Me: 5 weeks

W/Boy: big intake of breath, big spastic grin and sorry 28 days for refund see it's written on the notice.

Me: manager please

W/Boy: I think he is busy

Me: unbusy him

W/Boy: leaves and retuns with a slack jawed faggot who is indeed a manager, sorry sir can't give refunds after 28 days.

Me: I haven't taken my medication today and I am now having a sense of humour failure, failure on your part to give me a refund will result in that tasty bit of fluff, also a customer service advisor, over there having to ring for an ambulance, because you and Weasel Boy are going to have your teeth kicked down your throat.

Weasel Boy, Slack Jawed Faggot in unison: we'll call the police

Me: they won't be quick enough

Slack Jawed Faggot to Weasel Boy: give him a refund now.

Me: Why thankyou.

A result...I got me money back AND stayed out of klink.
 

Bits

War Hero
#2
Good man! And the worst people for it are the banks.

Nice lady behind glass screen: 'Hello Sir, how can I help.'

Me: 'I have a few discrepancies with my account I'd like to discuss with my account manager.'

Nice lady: 'Certainly Sir, I'll see who's available.'

[wait 15 minutes]

Acct Mgr: 'Hello Mr Bits, sorry to keep you waiting, how can I help.'

Me: 'You seem to have levied certain banking charges which seem to be in error.'

Acct Mgr: 'Right let's have a look.'

[one hour later, after a haggling session that would make a Bedouin's dad proud]

Acct Mgr: 'I'm sorry Mr Bits, I don't have the authority to remove these charges.'

Me: 'Are you or are you not my account manager?'

Acct Mgr: 'Well, yes.'

Me: 'But you don't have the authority to manage my account.'

Acct Mgr: 'Well, in this instance....'

Me: 'Right, I expect a phone call from you by lunchtime tomorrow, or I'm moving my account and my mortgage to another bank.'

Acct Mgr: 'Ah, well......'

Cracking. Works every time.
 
#3
Just state the manager and his monkey that "you will take them to the small claims court and advertise all over with the internet that they are cnuts."

Directive 1999/44/EC on the sale of consumer goods and associated guarantees has been implemented by Austria, Finland, Germany, Greece, Ireland, Italy, Luxembourg and the Netherlands, Portugal, Spain, Sweden, and the UK.

As a result of this legislation, all consumers, who buy goods in one of the above Member States, have the same right to a minimum guarantee of six months on products. Within the first six months of purchase, any lack of conformity or defect shall be presumed to have existed at the time of delivery, unless proved otherwise.

Within this period the consumer is entitled to have the goods brought into conformity free of charge. The consumer is entitled to ask for the goods to be repaired or replaced free of charge.

Moreover, after this initial six-month period consumers are still protected against faulty products. Within two years from delivery of the goods the trader still can be held liable for any lack of conformity. It should be noted, however, that after the first six months, it is up to the consumer to prove that the lack of conformity existed at the time of delivery.

Voluntary guarantees given by a producer do not restrict the statutory rights of consumers.
United Kingdom


Your rights as a consumer

Directive 1999/44/EC on the sale of consumer goods and associated guarantees has been implemented in the United Kingdom.




Money back

Whether you can return faulty goods and have your money back will depend in part on how long you have had the goods. If you return (reject) faulty goods very soon after purchase, you should be entitled to a refund. If, however, you keep the goods for an unreasonable time without rejecting, you would be considered to have accepted them and so may lose this right. If you reject the goods within a reasonable time, you do not have to accept a repair or replacement.




Replacement or repair

If you bought the goods on or after 31 March 2003, you can ask the seller to replace or repair the goods free of charge if they are faulty. If you do this within six months of receiving the goods, it will be assumed that the problem existed when you bought the goods, unless the seller can show otherwise. However, you can still ask for a replacement or a repair for up to six years from the date that you bought the goods, if it is reasonable for them to have lasted that long. In this case it will be up to you to show that the goods were faulty at the time of sale. The longer you have had the goods, the more difficult it is to prove that the fault was there at the time of sale.


If :-

it is impossible to replace or repair the goods; or
replacement or repair would be unreasonably costly for the seller when compared with alternative remedies; or
the seller fails to replace or repair the goods within a reasonable time of having agreed to do so, or causes you significant inconvenience;

then:-

you can ask for a partial or full refund. The amount of money you get back may be reduced to take account of any use that you have had out of the goods.
Within six years from delivery of the goods the trader still can be held liable for any lack of conformity; although after the first six months it is up to the consumer to prove that the lack of conformity existed at the time of delivery. In Scotland the time period is within 5 years of the discovery of the lack of conformity.

Voluntary guarantees given by a producer do not restrict the statutory rights of consumers.
 
#4
Ignore the "28 days" refund bullshit, that's only if you change your mind and don't want the goods anymore, if it's faulty the 28 days policy doesn't apply.
 

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