A British army 'passed over Major' decided to jack it all in and go and live in a remote part of Australia. He went right out into the wilds and found an old derilict which he worked on and was enjoying his solitude, he hadn't seen a soul for weeks. One evening and after some months, the phone rang. He took his new big Aussie hat and beat the red dust of the phone and picked it up. He was quite nervous having not spoken for months. " Er er Hello" he heard himself say. The voice the other end in broad accent said. " I have heard you moved in, I'm yer next door neigbour, seventy miles down the track, I wondered if you'd like to come over for a Barby on Sunday afternoon, there'l be plenty of booze, food, good music, and as much sex as you want." " Oh" Said the Major. "I would really love to come" "Right said the voice, then I will expect you" " How many will be at the do" asked the Major. " Only you and I" replied the voice!