Representation (general themes required)

Unfortunately and regrettably I have been caught up in a process, were I have wronged, require clemency, need to show remorse via representation etc. Require an Alistair Campbell spin of one liners. Subbies need not apply (Joke)!
Traditional RN style is called 'submitting reasons in writing'. Assuming that the one that you have wronged is a superior, then a Formal letter starting:

Sir, (or Ma'am,)

1. I have the honour to submit my reasons for fcuking up totally at ... on ....

2. I made a gross error of judgement (or whatever)

3. I realise the following (embarrasment; cost; etc)

4. I have learnt the following lessons (even if you haven't)

I have the honour to be,
Your obedient Servant

I B Allsdup

Has always worked well for me in the past!!
Wouldn't waiste your time dear boy.
Report straight to the Officers Mess
Draw the Mess Webley and finish the job - you have just screwed your career anyway!

Other than that try the DWG it might give you a pointer or two if you are really desperate else follow Perisopes advice.
Just make sure it ooses regret, states your obvious appreciation of your stupidity with a hint of begging (well it might work) for mercy other than that you are in the lap of the gods!

Its fun being an Officer is it not.

Good luck I sense you are going to need it!
It's one of those fcuking silly situations that the Army's moral code leads one into. If you are man (or woman) of honour who understands and values integrity (i.e. the sort of person we need more of) then you graciously retire with much apologising. If you're actually a w*nker who couldn't give a sh*t for a code of honour then your arrselick your way out of trouble and soldier on.

When you consider that it's practically impossible to have a full career without seriously fcuking it up at some point, one beings to realize which route most of our senior commanders must have taken and, therefore, what sort of men many of them must be.

Of course, some of them are men of honour who've simply never made a mistake. But statistically they can't escape mistakes forever, so it seems inevitable that their mistake has now been reserved for a moment when they have the most visibility and influence and will therefore do the most damage...


P.S. Failing that, bursting into tears and pleading for your career has always done nicely for me...
seenoff said:
Unfortunately and regrettably I have been caught up in a process, were I have wronged, require clemency, need to show remorse via representation etc. Require an Alistair Campbell spin of one liners. Subbies need not apply (Joke)!
1) Be a man.
2) If it was your fault - take it on the chin, appreciate the mistake and show honest remorse.
3) If it was your soldiers fault - take it on the chin, appreciate their mistake and back them up where required.
4) If it was someone elses fault you can:
a) drop them in the sh!t royally.
b) take it on the chin and batter them later!

Everyone makes mistakes. Those people who haven't are either perfect or aren't doing anything and hence will never have the opportunity to make a mistake. However the outcome depends on whether your boss wants a "yes man" or someone with integrity.
Being an upstanding member of Her Majesty's finest Royal Military Police, you can feel absolutely secure in the knowledge that I have your best interests at tell me allllllllllll about it wee man.......

Jonny you Name dropper! Don't tell him about the drunken brawl SEENOFF oops oh damn! :) (of course just kidding for the RMP's among us!)
I thought it was worth a try Baz........

Anyone else want to hop up onto Dr Jonny's sympathy couch? :twisted:
Letters of apology always benefit from containing the word 'deeply' and veiled threat that it might be better for all concerned if you put the whole matter in the hands of your civilian brief. Works in the Corps.
No problem Jonny took a wild stab in the dark myself with the drunken brawl comment - the usual Mess rugby got out of hand - you know the chance to tw*t someone in the mess legally but in jest for getting under your skin or being a complete prat.
Perfectly acceptable unless its the CO! :)
Still a chat without coffee always good for furthering your career or getting a posting elsewhere!
Would suggest looking at the new Defence Writing guide.

"I have the honour, to be Sir, Your obedient servant" no longer exists in service parlance.

Depending on the shenanigans, you can expect some kind of sanction, however a grovelling apology always goes down well, as it makes the senior officer feel even more important. Whether he/she is disposed to be lenient, apply AGAI 67 action or court martial is really up to them, and there's not a lot you can do about it. I would advise that said grovelling letter contains as little detail about the "nights events" - it could be used in evidence against you later, and lots of "I'm really sorry and it won't happen again".

Made me smile my friend! I have never had the bottle to do that........but Ohhhhhh, the temptation! Besides, how many chaps do you know that have positively prospered since an interview without biccies? Its a pre-requisite for a set of red tabs! LOL



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