Reporting for mascots?!

Picture the scene if you will.

I walked passed the RSM's office this morning and saw him tap tapping away at the key board on his desk - they do that now these days sadly.

"Morning RSM" I said, "How are you?"

"I'm writing a PAR (Aussie CR/OJAR or whatever they're called these days) for a facking dog Sir, how do you think I am!"

I laughed, questioned it, laughed again and walked off to finish my brew. During which time I carried out a little research on the subject and discovered not only is there a Defence Instruction (DI(A) PERS 125–1 if anyone's interested) that covers such affairs, but there is also an SO2 that handles them - if you know what I mean.

I kid you not;

6. Care is to be exercised in the selection of the type of mascot to ensure that it projects the image
required by the unit.
7. Additionally, an animal’s characteristics should be taken into consideration when selecting a mascot, namely:
a. Legality—is the animal or bird protected under Commonwealth or State law or has it been declared to be noxious under any law so as to make it an offence to keep such animal or bird?
b. Disposition—is it of a nature that permits handling on parades?
c. Size—is it large enough to be seen?
d. Feeding—does it require special foods?
e. Climatic tolerance—is it adversely affected by extremes of weather?
f. Aesthetic qualities—does it possess habits that are likely to cause derision or embarrassment in public places?
g. Housing—has it special housing requirements?
h. Movement—does it travel well over distances?

The reason for the PAR I'm told by the RSM is because he, a mange ridden old cattle dog that regularly goes for the kids (the dog not the RSM!) has just been promoted - now that is an entirely different story!

May I ask if there is any such proposterousness in Blighty? I think not, but I always did wonder why the CO was never that keen to let us adopt an elephent when we were in Germany.

This is the Army that often asks myself and other lateral transfer types if we are glad to have got away from all of the bullsh1t that we had to put up with in the British Army - you what?!

I can't even bring my dog into work, and the RSM is spending hours writing reports on a flea bitten mut. Give me strength.


I know of a few mascots who had P-files. But I think they were more of a joke with an ability to store useful info.

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