Discussion in 'Infantry' started by bored_of_the_signals, Dec 11, 2004.
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take them down to PMs question time and tell them to crack on
I didn't think that was allowed any more
Wouldn't a session on "Embracing non wesern intolerant homophobic/misogynist values" be better received.
Best get it in quick before your blokes get cut anyway.
I seem to recall insults about mothers, sister, parntners and what the enemy was going to do to me if I fcuked up and didn't carry out my drills right were one way of getting the "Offensive Spirit" up ...............
Man!!!!!! those were the days. I now know what my Platoon will be doing next month now
Whenever I've had a go the instructors always got us going with a spot of battlefield PT until we were all abosolutly hanging, also any mistakes during the lesson saw the whole group punished (usually 100m sprint/crawl), that worked for getting us angry and wound up
Oops, careful. A godd 'ol bayonet lesson will probably be seen as 'inhumane/bullying' in today's climate. Remember how sensitive everybody will be over training these days, and pretending to kill people might not go down too well.
I got hold of some old NBC suits that the QM was chucking out and packed them with straw and tie the legs up and fill with sand. Got some frames knocked up and weighted them with loads of sandbags and got the butcher and the cookhouse to give me a load of offal/offcuts/blood etc etc to stuff in the main body and some watermelons for the heads
Start the lesson with the explanation of the parts and functions of the bayonet blood channels, rib seperators etc. Then demonstrate the correct technique with the rifle first before you fit bayonets as you can guarantee some arrse will kebab himself or his mate. Explain the circumstances where you might find yourself fixing bayonets eg Mt Tumbledown etc
You can mix it with a tab first or just give them a talk on a real bayonet charge and show them a clip from a good war movie and then do mental the build up. You need to control it very carefully and rope in some other coaches to really get them fired up
When they ripped into the dummies and the meat started flying and the melons gort torn into they loved it and got really pumped
Make sure you warm them down afterwards- mentally and physically
Oz can you come and teach mine
I hope the blokes were given rubber gloves and face masks to protect them from all those nasty bacteria.
They picked most of the stuff up and lobbed it over the fence into the dog section compound. The mutts went mad
Do the training areas not leave convenient (if not convincing) sand-filled NBC suits lying around on the ranges, next to trenches?
I recall nervously inserting a bayonet into such a mannequin at Otterburn many years ago, doubly nervous because it was our first attempt at a live-firing section attack.
It's amazing how self-conscious you suddenly become when your weapon grows a sharp bit and you are worrying about NDs etc.
Mind you, is it not "against the rules" to stick someone lying down, particularly under this administration?
At catterick I was running a Bayonet fighting lesson and it had got to the wild eyed stage.
All the blokes had been ran ragged and had been through the stages to get to the "at the run" phase and there was much shouting.
At that moment the OC turns up with three local councillors (Town hall type not "what's wrong dear") as he is showing them around.
He had probably been giving them the "modern army - very friendly - nice to have on your doorstep" speech moments before Cpl Snodgrass chased a cammed up Tom right passed them telling him to "Stick the Fekkin Argie Bast' you Cnut!
The look on their faces said it all.
As MacDonalds says "i'm loving it"
Warm up : get the lads in a line marking time and shouting "kill" everytime their feet hit the ground. Do a brief inspection. Even the smallest infraction is punished by running down the hill into a large muddly pond (all those who have been near ITC Catterick recently will know exactly where i mean) and crawl through it. Any scottish personnel present are to wear kilts. 'classroom' layout - a pen next to the side of the dummies, where the lads are given the lesson and watch the demonstration. to move between this pen, their place in the starting line or the demonstration area, they must either run 150m up hill and round a tree, or 100m round the field and crawl through the afore mentioned puddle. "grenade" is to be yelled frequently, at which point men must crawl. When not actually bayonneting NBC suit/watermelon enemy, troops are to continue marking time and yelling disturbingly warry stuff. WArm down by explaining controlled agression and bloody well done etc. Smoke and chorley to be thrown liberally throughout.
Add some baseball caps to the dummies, rig up a PA system to belt out Eminem, R Kelly or any other R&B sh*te, and wait for the red mist to descend.
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