Remember that dead spy in the bag?

Discussion in 'The Intelligence Cell' started by vvaannmmaann, Mar 30, 2012.

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  1. So he didn't just kark it in a freak wanking accident?
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  2. I'd walk away from the PC as nonchalantly as possible if I were a marked man like you.
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  3. Do I, I broke a nail getting that zip shut.
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  4. probably, but the issue at the inquest appear to hinge on whether he could have locked the bag from the inside - if yes then freak wanking accident, if not, then someone locked it for him.

    is it just me who's a bit concerned by the fact that a GCHQ bloke, on attachment to MI6, goes missing and not one of great minds in those august institutions thinks it might be an idea to find out whats happenned to him?

    yes he probably died in some Tory inspired death orgasm, but he could of been having his fingernails pulled out by a local hairy for two weeks, in which they'd have been well compromised - yet fcuk all happened...
  5. There are clearly a few pastoral issues that the two Agencies involved need to address (quite apart from some vetting concerns) but I suspect that his parents, rightly traumatised by the manner of his death, cannot accept that that their son's behaviour may ahve attributed to his demise.

    It's very easy to assume that there is a conspiracy (fuelled by the METPOL handling of the forensics) but this would imply that there was a motive. The question has not been asked - at least in the public domain - why he was killed. Of course it could have been the work of an HIS...demonstrating that they could get to officers of the security services, almost within shadow of their HQs.
  6. It was Mr Orange wot did it…

    …he choked on it.;P
  7. Psst!

    Don't tell anyone! I reckon it was Mossad, clearly it's part of the global zionist conspiracy.

    Hang on a sec, there's some big bloke at my windo....yfcgdrt%5664$#;&zffzzz
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  8. You can pull a zip through it's zipper when it's padlocked no problems, this idea that he couldn't lock himself in is tits, have they actually asked around on the BDSM scene or looked on "specialist" forums to see if any of them get up to this?

    How do they know that the man or woman seen hanging about was not him in drag and some other bloke?

    This is why gayers used to be verboten as they lived a secretive life that left them open to blackmail, if he had just told his boss he was into wierd shit no one would have given a toss and he would not have had to hide it.

    I think it comes down to him hiding it from mum and dad.
  9. Nah, it was this chap. Apparently he is well into the BDSM scene.

  10. Well of course **** all happened.

    They knew exactly where he was and that he was no longer an item of interest.
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  11. Is there something you wish to share with us? ;P
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  12. Quite frankly if I karked it in a Freak Wanking Accident I would be chuffed to buggery that my works mates came round before the police got there and removed all of the incriminating porn and BDSM kit before my parents got a look round the flat for themself.

    No one wants mum and dad to find their collection of leather bar biker porn or a copy of chicks with dicks episode eleven.

    I see no conspiracy, only the required "porn wingman".
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  13. Actually, I think there is an opportunity for certain select Arrsers to make a valuable contribution to the legal process in this case.

    Supposedly the Coroner has said that she wants someone to demonstrate to her exactly how a sexual deviant contortionist could climb into a holdall and padlock themselves in.

    I can think of no community of public-minded individuals more likely to generate an individual with the necessary skill-set than this one.

    Just think, you'd be helping the family and police achieve closure.

    (See what I did there?)
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  14. He must have been a right little ****** to have fitted into that bag. On the bright side, here's hoping he porked that bint before hand.

    Something isn't quite right here though is it? Maybe he could have locked himself in that bag, but why would he want to? There was no reports of anything sordid being established. Here's my take on it...he phones up a local brass who's into S & M. She tips up with Polish 'protection/car driver' (that photo-fit bloke looks Polish)...short arse gets off on confined spaces. As he's so small, there's nothing but the bag that would be of any good to him, so in he pops. Brass zips him up. Short arse has forgotten to give the 'safe word'. Brass sits on top of him and thinks that his mumblings are just him having a shuffle. After a while things go quiet. Brass begins to panic...opens bag. "**** me, I've killed the little ****!" she thinks. Brass gets Polish guy on the mobile. Once in the flat, the Polish guy realises that there's **** all that they can do and if they hang about, it'll be difficlut to explain this one away when the cops tip up. Polish guy re-zips the bag, robs an iPod and something from the fridge. Off they toodle.

    Anybody got any better ideas?
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