Remember Everyone - Porn is for Life, Not Just Christmas

#1
As Christmas fades and New Year hove’s into view can you spare a moment for all those lonely porn sites that you promised you would visit but never found the time or someone else’s internet connection to use.

In the spirit of sharing I would like to introduce you to something that means you never have to be without pictures of fat ginger birds, news presenters, women in short kilts, rubber clad skinnies or whatever vile perversion you try and kid yourself your not addicted to, remember its New Years resolution time soon and they are only worth while making if your going to stick to it so no promising your going to stay off the fags/booze/hookers/goats * because we all know that’s not going to happen. Instead, make it a realistic one, to look at pictures of tits every day of the year without fail.

So how do we achieve this?

Like any mission, you will need a set of supporting assets and not just the computer and the internet. Various items of software and the techniques described here are going to turn you in a porn downloading ninja.

As we all know planning an preparation prevent p1ss poor performance and knocking one out over your nice new 17” laptop is no different

Please follow my ‘Slackers Guide to Getting Porn Off the Internwebnet Masterclass’ below

Class 1 – Using a Browser
Class 2 - Using RSS Newsfeeds
Class 3 – Covering Your Tracks
Class 4 – Other Tips



Class 1 - Using a Browser

Forget Internet Explorer, its built by Microsoft who don’t understand what the genuine porn surfer needs. Firefox is the porn surfer’s weapon of choice. If you are using a Mac, cut your pony tail off now and get a proper computer.

If you already have Firefox you are either a proper porn surfer and therefore don’t need these documents, skip Step 1 and move on to Step 2

Google Chrome is another porn ninja tool but I can’t be arrsed to write a guide for this so if you are using Chrome, figure it out for yourself.



Step 1 – Get Firefox


Point your browser to www.mozilla.org/firefox



Click the download button

Follow the 4 steps to getting Firefox, honestly its easy






Step 2 – Getting the Right Extensions


In order to turn Firefox into a porn surfing tool you have to have the right bling and these come in the shape of extensions (no, not that sort)

Click on the Tools menu and select Add-ons



A pop up box will appear looking something like this, don’t worry of it is not exactly the same



Click on the Browse All Addons

It will take you to the extensions page on the Firefox web site. Extensions are add-in programmes that extend the functionality of the programme.

The screen should look something like this



Type into the search area at the top of the page

Linky

and click the search button, you will get this screen



Click the item, scroll down and click the install now button



This will install the extension

When this has finished, search again for

Down Them All



And install

Finally;

Search again for

Browse Images



And install


All ready, bar a bit of fine tuning






Step 3 - Fine Tuning Ones Tools

Linky allows you to launch lists of hyperlinks into individual tabbed browsing sessions

Down them all, automatically downloads all linked video or image files on a page into a single directory, however, if you want to be more selective then you can use Browse Images instead, it’s up to you.

Browse Images allows you to see all the linked images on a page on one screen, just the images so no other stuff.

Linky should be fine as per the default installation as should Browse Images.

Click on the Tools menu and select Down Them All Tools

There are only 2 options to change is on the Main section



Ensure that the option is set to Rename, not Ask, as is the default

And ensure the close source tab when down them all starts is checked.

On the tools menu there should now be an option for Down Them All




Click the first menu option, DownThemAll!...

There are a few options to set



Click the blue folder and set a folder location where you want your filth to be saved, this is for future downloads, hold your rush.

Also, make sure the Images option is clicked, if you want videos as well, click that one or have one or the other, whatever your preference




Step 4 – Diving In

Ensure you are alone or if you have an understanding missus, don’t worry. Lock the doors and dim the lights

The easiest place to find porn is via so called TGP site; TGP stands for Thumbnail Gallery Post and is a site where owners of porn sites use to advertise their wares with free galleries.

Typical sites include

No Porn Links! Mod.

Navigate to any of these sites and there will be long lists of links

This is where we use Linky

Select a list of links by clicking and dragging and then click the selected list with a right click. Go to the Linky option and choose Open Selected Links in Tabs.



The selected links will then open up in tabs.

The tabs may take a few seconds to open depending on how many you highlighted, how fast your internet connection is etc

The quickest way to close a tab is to use a keyboard shortcut

Press the CTRL key and the F4 key together

This will close the current tab and is much quicker and more efficient than using the mouse.

Keep pressing CTRL F4 until you find a tab with pictures that you like



OPTION 1 – Be a Greedy Pig and Download all the Pictures

Click on the dTaOneClick button as shown here



This will download all images/videos etc into the source folder you set and close that tab ready for you to look at the next one. This will happen in the background leaving you time to ogle at the next tab




OPTION 2 – Be Selective

Once you have found a gallery page with images that can be opened on the page, at the bottom of the browser the Browse Image button will turn red



Simply click this and choose Open All Images in Tab




All the images will be opened in a single tab for you to right click and save as…



Repeat until blind




* delete as applicable


Stay Tuned for the next class, using an RSS Newsreader to avoid even having to bother to go looking

ps
Click on the banner in my signature and have a browse on the new Sgt Slingsby web site
 
#3
I would also recommend Limewire for a vast array of skin flicks. Just make sure that your anti virus software is up to date and always scan the files you down load from there before opening them.
 
#5
Outstanding.

There should be ARRSE new years honours for this type of thing.
 
#6
plant_life said:
I would also recommend Limewire for a vast array of skin flicks. Just make sure that your anti virus software is up to date and always scan the files you down load from there before opening them.
that's what you heard is'nt it P_L. :?: :wink: :?: :wink:
 
#10
Speaking of porn erasing.On my web browser,where it says "arrse co uk" at the moment.Moving to the right,there is a triangle pointing donwards.Clicking on that will list all visited sites.There seems to be a link to a gentleman's entertainment site (I have no idea how it got there) I have tried using the Delete History thing,but the link does not go.How can I get rid of it? Thanks.
 
#11
Too add to my learned friend Meridian's top post,install the extension 'Ant Toolbar' which allows one to download movies fron 'RudeTube' ect.
Plus the are a wide veriety of Blog sites that host movies which one can download.
 
#12
A_Knocker_Till_The_End said:
plant_life said:
I would also recommend Limewire for a vast array of skin flicks. Just make sure that your anti virus software is up to date and always scan the files you down load from there before opening them.
that's what you heard is'nt it P_L. :?: :wink: :?: :wink:
Of course!
 
#13
tiger stacker said:
MAC version please since There a lot of MAC users who enjoy porn.
Safari has this option if you click on "Safari" (along the top):

Private Browsing

"Are you sure you want to turn on private browsing?

When private browsing is turned on, webpages are not added to the history, items are automatically removed from the Downloads window, information isn't saved for AutoFill (including names and passwords), and searches are not added to the pop-up menu in the Google search box. Until you close the window, you can still click the Back and Forward buttons to return to webpages you have opened."

I've never used it and have no idea whether it fulfills your needs.
 
#15
dingerr said:
Outstanding.

There should be ARRSE new years honours for this type of thing.
I agree - this is the best and most relevant IT "how to" article I have seen in years.

Good work that man!

:D :D :D

Rodney2q
 
#16
Excellent work Meridian! I just knew I didn't have Firefox set up right somehow. I've finally got around to setting up a machine with Linux (Intrepid Ibex) as well so surfing should be faster as well as more productive. Luckily my neighbour has a much faster connection so things are looking up for 2009.
 
#17
I insist this thread be stickied, no pun intended of course. :)
 
#18
A small guide to add onto Meridian's excellent work.

Downloading Videos straight off websites

Ever watched a video on Redtube/Xvideos/Youtube, and found yourself wanting to download what you’ve just watched? Download Helper and Fast Video Downloader are two Firefox Add On’s that allow you to do just that. For this tutorial, I shall use Download Helper as its easier to use.

Download helper (Firefox Extension) can be found here https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/3006
Please refer to meridian’s guide on how to install Firefox extensions.



When installed, whenever you visit a site that has video available to download, the icon in the highlighted box becomes animated. All you have to do is click on it and it’ll ask you where to save the video. Once the video file has been downloaded, you’ll need to download a video player that can watch flv files. Smplayer and VLC player are two excellent video players that will do this. A simple way to build up a video porn collection.
 
#19
Thanks chap, I was going to include exactly that in the Class 4 and I am going to shamelessly steal your post and integrate it into the lesson if you don't mind
 
#20
Class 2 – Using RSS Newsfeeds


An interesting alternative to browsing for titty pictures is to let them come to you, it is the sensible bone idle alternative but not many people know what RSS is so lets start with the basics.


What is RSS?

RSS (Rich Site Summary, RDF Site Summary or Really Simple Syndication) is a format for delivering regularly changing web content to a news reader. Many news-related sites, weblogs and other online publishers syndicate their content as an RSS Feed to whoever wants it. Imagine a news feed as a conveyor belt loaded with filth that, you configure your news reader to watch for updates on a single or multiple conveyor belts. As they are updated these are simply pushed your way and sit within your news reader waiting for your attention.

Why RSS? Benefits and Reasons for using RSS

RSS solves a problem for people who regularly use the web. It allows you to easily stay informed by retrieving the latest content from the sites you are interested in. You save time by not needing to visit each site individually. You ensure your privacy, by not needing to join each site's email newsletter or visiting unless you want to. The RSS or newsreader aggregates multiple feeds into a single location.


Step 1 – Get Yourself a News Reader

There are many options here but they boil down to three types

1. Standalone
2. Integrated
3. Web


Standalone
A Standalone reader is a normal programme like any other and there are many options so it will often come down to personal choice. Some of the best ones are here

Windows
http://www.newsgator.com/individuals/feeddemon/default.aspx



Mac
http://www.newsgator.com/Individuals/NetNewsWire/default.aspx




iPhone and SmartPhone
Oh yes, for those with a modern Windows or iPhone device you can enoy the benefits of RSS Porn

http://www.newsgator.com/individuals/netnewswireiphone/default.aspx



http://www.newsgator.com/individuals/newsgatorgo/default.aspx






Integrated
If you use Firefox or Microsoft Outlook you can integrate newsreader functionality within the application. And for the professional porn ninja nothing comes close!





Web
Although a little less flexible and slower to use than a desktop type application a web based newsreader does have the benefit of being location independent. The most well known is Google Reader. The most obvious benefit of an online reader like Google Reader is that no matter whose computer you're using, you can access your feeds from the same interface, with the same items read, unread, starred, and tagged, as long as you've got a browser handy

Google Reader
http://www.google.com/reader/view/#directory-welcome-2-page



Newsgator Online
http://www.newsgator.com/individuals/newsGatoronline/default.aspx






The benefit of using a single provider like Newsgator is that you create a single account that can be accessed from any of the clients, standalone, web or integrated.





Step 2 – Subscribe to Your Porn Channels

This is the easy part but finding the relevant feeds can be difficult if you want to get to the real images rather than advertising laden feeds. Any porn blogs are likely to be based on an existing Blogging platform like Blogger, Typepad and Tumbler, these all have integrated RSS feeds so you are likely to get what you want from here.

Simply enter the feed address into the newsreader

Some examples to get you started

http://www.drunkenyeti.com/feed/
http://afuckaday.tumblr.com/rss
http://assgasm.tumblr.com/rss
http://naked.blogs.com/daily/atom.xml
http://www.graffuck.com/?feed=rss2
http://feedproxy.feedburner.com/RandomNude

To get more do a Blog or Google search. Look for this symbol or the words RSS or Feed






Step 3 – Read

This is the easy part because you don’t have to do anything, just go to your reader and access the feeds. They can be accessed from within the reader or there will be a link to open the original article or post within your browser.

You can then use the techniques in Class 1 to download or view the images.

..

Again, please have a look at Slingsby and donate or volunteer to have one of the Bears over if you can
 

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