Remember Everyone - Porn is for Life, Not Just Christmas

Discussion in 'The NAAFI Bar' started by meridian, Dec 29, 2008.

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  1. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    As Christmas fades and New Year hove’s into view can you spare a moment for all those lonely porn sites that you promised you would visit but never found the time or someone else’s internet connection to use.

    In the spirit of sharing I would like to introduce you to something that means you never have to be without pictures of fat ginger birds, news presenters, women in short kilts, rubber clad skinnies or whatever vile perversion you try and kid yourself your not addicted to, remember its New Years resolution time soon and they are only worth while making if your going to stick to it so no promising your going to stay off the fags/booze/hookers/goats * because we all know that’s not going to happen. Instead, make it a realistic one, to look at pictures of tits every day of the year without fail.

    So how do we achieve this?

    Like any mission, you will need a set of supporting assets and not just the computer and the internet. Various items of software and the techniques described here are going to turn you in a porn downloading ninja.

    As we all know planning an preparation prevent p1ss poor performance and knocking one out over your nice new 17” laptop is no different

    Please follow my ‘Slackers Guide to Getting Porn Off the Internwebnet Masterclass’ below

    Class 1 – Using a Browser
    Class 2 - Using RSS Newsfeeds
    Class 3 – Covering Your Tracks
    Class 4 – Other Tips



    Class 1 - Using a Browser

    Forget Internet Explorer, its built by Microsoft who don’t understand what the genuine porn surfer needs. Firefox is the porn surfer’s weapon of choice. If you are using a Mac, cut your pony tail off now and get a proper computer.

    If you already have Firefox you are either a proper porn surfer and therefore don’t need these documents, skip Step 1 and move on to Step 2

    Google Chrome is another porn ninja tool but I can’t be arrsed to write a guide for this so if you are using Chrome, figure it out for yourself.



    Step 1 – Get Firefox


    Point your browser to www.mozilla.org/firefox

    [​IMG]

    Click the download button

    Follow the 4 steps to getting Firefox, honestly its easy

    [​IMG]




    Step 2 – Getting the Right Extensions


    In order to turn Firefox into a porn surfing tool you have to have the right bling and these come in the shape of extensions (no, not that sort)

    Click on the Tools menu and select Add-ons

    [​IMG]

    A pop up box will appear looking something like this, don’t worry of it is not exactly the same

    [​IMG]

    Click on the Browse All Addons

    It will take you to the extensions page on the Firefox web site. Extensions are add-in programmes that extend the functionality of the programme.

    The screen should look something like this

    [​IMG]

    Type into the search area at the top of the page

    Linky

    and click the search button, you will get this screen

    [​IMG]

    Click the item, scroll down and click the install now button

    [​IMG]

    This will install the extension

    When this has finished, search again for

    Down Them All

    [​IMG]

    And install

    Finally;

    Search again for

    Browse Images

    [​IMG]

    And install


    All ready, bar a bit of fine tuning






    Step 3 - Fine Tuning Ones Tools

    Linky allows you to launch lists of hyperlinks into individual tabbed browsing sessions

    Down them all, automatically downloads all linked video or image files on a page into a single directory, however, if you want to be more selective then you can use Browse Images instead, it’s up to you.

    Browse Images allows you to see all the linked images on a page on one screen, just the images so no other stuff.

    Linky should be fine as per the default installation as should Browse Images.

    Click on the Tools menu and select Down Them All Tools

    There are only 2 options to change is on the Main section

    [​IMG]

    Ensure that the option is set to Rename, not Ask, as is the default

    And ensure the close source tab when down them all starts is checked.

    On the tools menu there should now be an option for Down Them All

    [​IMG]


    Click the first menu option, DownThemAll!...

    There are a few options to set

    [​IMG]

    Click the blue folder and set a folder location where you want your filth to be saved, this is for future downloads, hold your rush.

    Also, make sure the Images option is clicked, if you want videos as well, click that one or have one or the other, whatever your preference




    Step 4 – Diving In

    Ensure you are alone or if you have an understanding missus, don’t worry. Lock the doors and dim the lights

    The easiest place to find porn is via so called TGP site; TGP stands for Thumbnail Gallery Post and is a site where owners of porn sites use to advertise their wares with free galleries.

    Typical sites include

    No Porn Links! Mod.

    Navigate to any of these sites and there will be long lists of links

    This is where we use Linky

    Select a list of links by clicking and dragging and then click the selected list with a right click. Go to the Linky option and choose Open Selected Links in Tabs.

    [​IMG]

    The selected links will then open up in tabs.

    The tabs may take a few seconds to open depending on how many you highlighted, how fast your internet connection is etc

    The quickest way to close a tab is to use a keyboard shortcut

    Press the CTRL key and the F4 key together

    This will close the current tab and is much quicker and more efficient than using the mouse.

    Keep pressing CTRL F4 until you find a tab with pictures that you like



    OPTION 1 – Be a Greedy Pig and Download all the Pictures

    Click on the dTaOneClick button as shown here

    [​IMG]

    This will download all images/videos etc into the source folder you set and close that tab ready for you to look at the next one. This will happen in the background leaving you time to ogle at the next tab




    OPTION 2 – Be Selective

    Once you have found a gallery page with images that can be opened on the page, at the bottom of the browser the Browse Image button will turn red

    [​IMG]

    Simply click this and choose Open All Images in Tab

    [​IMG]


    All the images will be opened in a single tab for you to right click and save as…



    Repeat until blind




    * delete as applicable


    Stay Tuned for the next class, using an RSS Newsreader to avoid even having to bother to go looking

    ps
    Click on the banner in my signature and have a browse on the new Sgt Slingsby web site
     
  2. You Sir, are either a genius, or really sad barsteward with far too much free time. Either way, Good drills!
     
  3. I would also recommend Limewire for a vast array of skin flicks. Just make sure that your anti virus software is up to date and always scan the files you down load from there before opening them.
     
  4. MAC version please since There a lot of MAC users who enjoy porn.
     
  5. Outstanding.

    There should be ARRSE new years honours for this type of thing.
     
  6. that's what you heard is'nt it P_L. :?: :wink: :?: :wink:
     
  7. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    Standby for the follow up classes, gentlemen.

    Stay tuned
     
  8. meridian

    meridian LE Good Egg (charities)

    Can I refer my learned friend to Class 3 - Covering Your Tracks
     
  9. Red Tube is brilliant as well!
     
  10. Speaking of porn erasing.On my web browser,where it says "arrse co uk" at the moment.Moving to the right,there is a triangle pointing donwards.Clicking on that will list all visited sites.There seems to be a link to a gentleman's entertainment site (I have no idea how it got there) I have tried using the Delete History thing,but the link does not go.How can I get rid of it? Thanks.
     
  11. spike7451

    spike7451 RIP

    Too add to my learned friend Meridian's top post,install the extension 'Ant Toolbar' which allows one to download movies fron 'RudeTube' ect.
    Plus the are a wide veriety of Blog sites that host movies which one can download.
     
  12. Of course!
     
  13. Safari has this option if you click on "Safari" (along the top):

    Private Browsing

    "Are you sure you want to turn on private browsing?

    When private browsing is turned on, webpages are not added to the history, items are automatically removed from the Downloads window, information isn't saved for AutoFill (including names and passwords), and searches are not added to the pop-up menu in the Google search box. Until you close the window, you can still click the Back and Forward buttons to return to webpages you have opened."

    I've never used it and have no idea whether it fulfills your needs.
     
  14. Thank you ! I await the next lesson Sir


    Osta
     
  15. I agree - this is the best and most relevant IT "how to" article I have seen in years.

    Good work that man!

    :D :D :D

    Rodney2q