Relaxed sphincter muscle....

#1
Bloody hell my Doc has added an anti psychotic drug to the various loony tunes drugs I take, worryingly one of the side effects is "a relaxed sphincter muscle" I think that means I may shit myself, farting is now like playing Russian Roulette. Any ideas to get around this problem.......
 
#2
Dont fart - and in particular, refrain from coughing unexpectedly. Good luck!
 

Fang_Farrier

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#3
A cork, probably best one froma port bottle as it has a safety rim!
If necessary then a champagne cork
 
#5
Continue wearing black shorts and a brown shirt - nobody will notice anything.
Hope that helps
 
#9
jarrod248 said:
I'd suggest by tensing yout sphincter around a massive c0ck quite a few times a day it'll be tight as a nut soon enough. A butt plug may also help, but you must still do the tensing.
How massive should it be?
 
#13
jarrod248 said:
longlivethequeen said:
jarrod248 said:
I'd suggest by tensing yout sphincter around a massive c0ck quite a few times a day it'll be tight as a nut soon enough. A butt plug may also help, but you must still do the tensing.
How massive should it be?
Well research has proven c0cks come in four sizes:-
Small
Medium
Large
and oooh is all this for me.
Define large?
 
#14
longlivethequeen said:
jarrod248 said:
longlivethequeen said:
jarrod248 said:
I'd suggest by tensing yout sphincter around a massive c0ck quite a few times a day it'll be tight as a nut soon enough. A butt plug may also help, but you must still do the tensing.
How massive should it be?
Well research has proven c0cks come in four sizes:-
Small
Medium
Large
and oooh is all this for me.
Define large?
All men have large cocks - it would be wrong to admit otherwise.
I mean, 4 inches is large, innit?
 

rampant

LE
Kit Reviewer
Book Reviewer
#17
PrinceAlbert said:
rampant said:
Borrow yer missus' tampons, job done.
Or buy some cottonwool, some toilet roll, and "roll your own" manpons
pmsl :rofl:
 
#18
jarrod248 said:
longlivethequeen said:
jarrod248 said:
longlivethequeen said:
jarrod248 said:
I'd suggest by tensing yout sphincter around a massive c0ck quite a few times a day it'll be tight as a nut soon enough. A butt plug may also help, but you must still do the tensing.
How massive should it be?
Well research has proven c0cks come in four sizes:-
Small
Medium
Large
and oooh is all this for me.
Define large?
I'm afraid that is a personal thing and rangestew will find out by trying various models in his quest to tighten up has sagging slack ring-piece.
I would say 'oooh is all this for me size' could cause rectal bleeding and piles, however that size will also ram any piles back up.



This should do the job then
 
#20
Just found this

1. manpons 44 up, 10 down
Similar to the feminine tampon, the masculine 'manpon' is used for the reduction of sweat between the cheeks of the buttocks, placed firmly between the cheeks in times of high pressure, stress, or sweat-causing situations
These new manpons work great! I never have to be embarrased at the gym again!

Can not find the bloody link though.
 

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