Relationships between officers

#1
Hi there,
I'm new to arrse and have a question regarding relationships between officers within the army. My OH and I met in the OTC and we have always known he was going to Sandhurst after he finishes uni, I was in the OTC more out of curiosity, but have since decided that I would like to join the army. As we graduate this year, he will be going to RMAS in the September intake whereas I will be staying at uni to do my masters. If I go the year after, would it be frowned upon or not allowed for us to be in a relationship?
 
#2
You met before joining up. Are you looking to work in the same area within the army ? If not I see no problems at all.

It is all about chains of command. The leeway for young officers, with other young officers, is quite wide. If you go in as a private then there would be problems !

Good luck with the masters.
 
#5
Yes, I am a woman.
He is sponsored by an infantry regiment so we will be going into different branches of the army. Though I haven't decided 100% which area I would like to go into.
 
#7
Yes, I am a woman.
He is sponsored by an infantry regiment so we will be going into different branches of the army. Though I haven't decided 100% which area I would like to go into.
It's customary to post a pic of yourself for sensible answers.
 
#8
Yes, I am a woman.
He is sponsored by an infantry regiment so we will be going into different branches of the army. Though I haven't decided 100% which area I would like to go into.
Ah well, you're in trouble then. We much prefer chaps who went to a decent school, know their way around a prefect's study, Oxbridge leading on to a life of homos.......... no, hang on, this isn't the NAAFI.

Just arrseing about. There is absolutely no issue with the relationship you describe.
 

Travelgall

LE
Kit Reviewer
#9
Officers shag each other all the time. How do you think the Royal Regiment of Artillery would procreate were that option not available? Crack on...
 
#11
Hi there,
I'm new to arrse and have a question regarding relationships between officers within the army. My OH and I met in the OTC and we have always known he was going to Sandhurst after he finishes uni, I was in the OTC more out of curiosity, but have since decided that I would like to join the army. As we graduate this year, he will be going to RMAS in the September intake whereas I will be staying at uni to do my masters. If I go the year after, would it be frowned upon or not allowed for us to be in a relationship?
Women: Know Your Limits! Harry Enfield - BBC comedy - YouTube

Watch this, it will give you some good guidelines...
 
#12
An aspect to consider, having seen many an inter-officer relationship fail (I've seen some succeed too...), is that you may end up at different ends of the country, if not globe.

This brings a new dimension to long-distance relationship, as you may be 2Lt whatever at wherever you are, getting thrashed by your CO and he will be 2Lt Haven't-got-time-to-talk, I'm on PCDC (or whatever it's called). And that's after he gets through RMAs and then you do (which in itself isn't renowned for being easy on relationships).

not to be the harbinger of doom, but think long and hard about it.

If you go one step further and become betrothed, they are only obliged to post you to the same op Theatre too - so both in Germany or both in the UK etc.

I've known many inter-Officer marriages go tits up when they end up being 300 miles (minimum) apart, on clashing schedules with their respective regiments. OR you beg your MCM, or he his, to be posted nearer and end up with a pointless career of doss jobs, just to be close.

As I said, not wishing to be too negative...but it is Friday! ;-)
 
#13
Just go with it and see how it goes. Don't over evaluate it or try and plan ahead. Effectively you will be a student while he is at Sandhurst - a very normal circumstance. Then you will be at Sandhurst and he will be in employment - a very normal circumstance. Then you will both be officers in the Army - another normal circumstance. I am not saying there will not be strains and pressures that these circumstances put on the relationship but if your relationship is strong it will survive.

uqfegd

pp
 
#14
It's ok , I'm sure you'll meet some socialist fresher next year for the "Gap" period. No doubt he will either get some female at sandhurst or get up to London for a few nights out. Either way you won't be bereft.
 
#15
An aspect to consider, having seen many an inter-officer relationship fail (I've seen some succeed too...), is that you may end up at different ends of the country, if not globe.

This brings a new dimension to long-distance relationship, as you may be 2Lt whatever at wherever you are, getting thrashed by your CO and he will be 2Lt Haven't-got-time-to-talk, I'm on PCDC (or whatever it's called). And that's after he gets through RMAs and then you do (which in itself isn't renowned for being easy on relationships).

not to be the harbinger of doom, but think long and hard about it.

If you go one step further and become betrothed, they are only obliged to post you to the same op Theatre too - so both in Germany or both in the UK etc.

I've known many inter-Officer marriages go tits up when they end up being 300 miles (minimum) apart, on clashing schedules with their respective regiments. OR you beg your MCM, or he his, to be posted nearer and end up with a pointless career of doss jobs, just to be close.

As I said, not wishing to be too negative...but it is Friday! ;-)
That's where her SNCO's will come in. I'm sure a young, thrusting Sgt will be only to happy to spear her behind the vehicle sheds.
 
#16
Django_strikes' comments are very pertinent, especially this one.
OR you beg your MCM, or he his, to be posted nearer and end up with a pointless career of doss jobs, just to be close.
The OH and I were both serving officers when we met, married, and for 15 years had to do a lot of that sort of 'career juggling' to actually be able to live together. In the end, I accepted a life at MoD with much diminished promotion prospects, whilst she did assorted postings in West London/Home Counties and moved onward and upward.

There was one potential glitch, when I was being posted to the top end of Scotland just as she was posted to Bracknell. After a lot of moaning at my desk officer at RAF PMC, including threatening to PVR, I struck lucky as a guy was picked up for acting rank and took the Scottish job - and I moved to yet another MoD job.

Oh - and whilst I was down in the Falklands, she was posted from Lincolnshire to West London. So finish work on Friday, move house and start work at the new job on Monday - basically on her own. Family rallied round to assist, but still not easy.

Good fun, though, and no regrets. It may have helped that we were in our 30s when we met, of course.
 
#17
It is all about chains of command. The leeway for young officers, with other young officers, is quite wide. If you go in as a private then there would be problems !
Why would there be problems as long as they were in different capbadges and not working together?
 
#18
According to Queen's Regs, Volume II, section 5, paragraph 4, Relationships in the Armed Forces.

You have to salute the senior office before and after sex and you also have to shag by numbers by shouting WUN TU THREE WUN when executing each shagging movement, the final WUN being the thrust combined with a loud slapping noise as your hand slaps down on the butt.
 
#19
Why would there be problems as long as they were in different capbadges and not working together?
The OH and I were different Branches, but also different ranks for much of the time. We were not allowed to serve on the same Station: just allowed to share a Married Quarter.

Oh, and here's a good one from later in life. I was rejected for command of an independent Unit, as she (as a serving officer) would be "unable to fulfil her responsibilities as the OC's wife". The fact that I was, by several miles, the best-qualified candidate in the Branch for the appointment took second place to her inability to supervise flower-arranging by the Wives' Club.
 
#20
The OH and I were different Branches, but also different ranks for much of the time. We were not allowed to serve on the same Station: just allowed to share a Married Quarter.

Oh, and here's a good one from later in life. I was rejected for command of an independent Unit, as she (as a serving officer) would be "unable to fulfil her responsibilities as the OC's wife". The fact that I was, by several miles, the best-qualified candidate in the Branch for the appointment took second place to her inability to supervise flower-arranging by the Wives' Club.

No it wasn't. I heard it was due to the incident with the CO's dog, half a pound of spring onions and the resultant damage to the Officers Mess ante room.

Apart from that, you were by far and away the best candidate....
 

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