Relationship Advice Requested

You're enjoying this at the moment because it's not anything like being married with kids. Lots of great sex with new skirt and no daycare responsibilities. She keeps tidy now to catch a bloke, but marry her and she'll stop putting on sexy undies and start putting on weight.
I have a good friend who is about 4 years ahead of you in this situation. He married the woman that all the bored dad's gorp at on the school run, wondering what lucky bastard is shagging her. WISE UP. Just keep being the guy who's shagging her. He married her despite the advice of every single person he knows. Gone from being the life and soul to bankrupt and suicidal.
As for the kids.....
I have a teenager of my own flesh blood, and its farkin hard to keep perspective and stay sane.
Imagine being married and living with someone else's children. If you move the kids they'll hate you and so will their Dad. If you don't move you **** your job up.
See what happens when you suggest 'taking things slowly'.......
 
You're enjoying this at the moment because it's not anything like being married with kids. Lots of great sex with new skirt and no daycare responsibilities. She keeps tidy now to catch a bloke, but marry her and she'll stop putting on sexy undies and start putting on weight.
Very true - both my exes - one Italian and one Kiwi put a bit of weight on - the Italian one especially, which was not too surprising because she always cooked - but the Kiwi one who showed up last weekend at my house - I wasn't expecting how much (perceived) weight she gained based on her ass and legs. I wasn't complaining though, she was still slim-ish!
 
OK dudes. A little advice on life, and stuff, if you’d be so kind.

For the last 6 months or so I have been seeing, unusually for me, rather a fox. I’ll call her Louise, that being nowhere near her name. Louise is late 30s, blonde, 5ft6, facially rather pretty and a size 10 (I should know, having bought her enough in the way of underwear etc…..:)) She’s well educated (MSc), financially independent, having a fairly good job in a national estate agents, and owns her own house in the South East, partially due to a rather generous inheritance and partially due to her divorce settlement. Mental on cycling & running, she has entered numerous triathlons and is training for another.

Louise is great company, electric in the hay, down to earth but with a bit of a touch of cut glass when she needs to be. I’ve taken her to a few military black tie functions, she’s perfectly at home with Messes etc, and isn’t phased at all by military life. I trust her implicitly and am pretty confident that I could deploy for a year and she would not be tempted to play away.

The downside (in my mind anyway) – she has 2 kids, a little lad aged 4 and a daughter aged 10. Now they are great kids. Very well behaved, balanced and great fun to be around. Their parents’ separation was some 3 yrs ago, but they’re on great terms with their Dad and he is, from what I can gather, a super Dad to them. He sees them most weekends, and any time he has holidays, and is extremely generous in terms of child maintenance. The cynic in me thinks he can afford to be given as I understand from Louise he earns >£250,000pa in the City of London.

So, why am I asking for advice? Well, Louise is getting rather serious. She’s talking about us moving in together, with a view to eventually becoming permanent. I have numerous concerns with this. I have never been a parent in my life, in fact I inwardly think of myself as rather a 46yr old toddler. Louise and I moving in together would have to be at my place due to my work. It would geographically dislocate the kids from being near their Dad to being 3hrs + apart. From a more selfish point of view, if we were to shack up together, the kids will be around in shapes and sizes until at least 2033 - by which time I will be 60!!!! This drives a coach & horses through my plan of retiring at the age of 50 and spending my days hunting, shooting & fishing in the Highlands.

Have any of the ARRSE team ever taken on an ‘instant family’? If so, what are the pitfalls and the plus-es? Should I run for the hills or take the plunge?
I chose the hunting, shooting & fishing route when faced with a somewhat similar decision a few years back.
Felt it was the right decision then & even more so after selling up & retiring last year.

Good thing I like my own cooking.;-)
 
Should I run for the hills or take the plunge?
Discuss your qualms with Louise, be honest - I'd love to live with you, but I don't want to be a "dad"

Better to amicably chat now rather than ongoing resentment and future furious arguments.

Boarding school and summer camps, then away to Uni/Forces?
 
Very true - both my exes - one Italian and one Kiwi put a bit of weight on - the Italian one especially, which was not too surprising because she always cooked - but the Kiwi one who showed up last weekend at my house - I wasn't expecting how much (perceived) weight she gained based on her ass and legs. I wasn't complaining though, she was still slim-ish!
Before I went to NZ, I was told by an acquaintance who had been that they talk funny, and hot looking women were rare. I'd have to say he was pretty accurate on both counts. I did only visit South Island. The guy was from Hungary, I wonder how it compares?
 
Before I went to NZ, I was told by an acquaintance who had been that they talk funny, and hot looking women were rare. I'd have to say he was pretty accurate on both counts. I did only visit South Island. The guy was from Hungary, I wonder how it compares?
I've only ever dated two Kiwis - one knowing as a flatmate (long story - let's not go there) and other one randomly from Tinder. Both were hot. I don't know what the average is in NZ. But both spoke funny, and hated the fact that I used to make fun of their "accients." Yes, that's how it sounded like when spelt accents.

 

Latest Threads

Top