Rejoining- But Family Against It

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  1. After announcing to my family a few weeks back that I was thinking of re-joining I got the ultimate what the fcuk for?, off my mother and step father.

    Now, im 25, and I joined the army in 1999 aged 17 and when I did my family were quite keen to be honest. They were proud when I did my training and passed out at Pirbright, then Catterick.

    But that was before all this Iraq and Afghanistan business. When I went to battalion in 99, the army was alot quieter, with only N Ireland and Bosnia as commited Op Tours.

    I did Telic 1 in 2003, and when I told my family I was leaving the army in 2005 they were a bit hesitant asking questions like...well what job are you going to do son? and theres not much out here, but its your choice....

    So I left in 2005 and since then have been working in my current job.

    Now fast forward to Feb 07 and thats when I hit them with' Im thinking of rejoining because I want to do something worthwhile and do something constructive with my life.

    Thats when my mum and stepfather kind of went off the rails a bit. Now with whats happened to troops in Iraq recently, everytime were watching the news and a death is announced in Iraq of a British soldier, the room goes quiet.Then my stepfather or mother will turn and say to me..' do you really want to go back out there again, because thats where youll go'.... and why the heck would anyone want to join the army nowadays with Iraq and Afghanistan???
    It was only yesterday when my mum said to me..son, give me one good reason why on earth you want to back in the army.?

    I tried to explain that the army doesnt reveolve around Iraq/ Afghan though it has large commitments there, and that despit the negative things we see, the army is a worthy career.

    Now my father lives 100 miles away, he served 20 years. He was in N Ireland in the dodgy 70s and 80s when it was dangerous there. Infact he was at Warrenpoint in 1979, when 18 troops were killed by the IRA. Its also worth noting that he was a section commander in the Falklands war.
    Hes a bit more level headed about me wanting to rejoin..he said ' son, I dont really want to see you go back out to Iraq/ Afghan but its up to you, if you want to rejoin, make sure you think carefully.

    I just wish my mum and stepfather realiazed that joining the army, doesnt mean certain death, minfact if you look at the statistics, not many people are killed on Ops compared to the amount serving on them.

    Then again, my mum was deeply distressed when I was on Telic, and my stepfather said to you really want to keep putting your mother through that every time you go away??

    I now feel a bit guilty, I mean is it really worth me re-joining if its going to cause this much stress and worry to family members?..regardless that its something I want to do.

    Anyone else been in this situation?
  2. i know exactly what u mean m 8 my mum felt the same when i was out there im still in the army but at the end of the day its your shout do what you think is right for you
  3. Family and friends will always worry about you, but i live with the philosophy that you could just as likely be run over by a bus tomorrow.

    When it's your time to go, it's time to go.
  4. Its your Life mate, do what you want to do dingerr is right, people will worry about you anyway.

    you will only regret it if you go against your own feelings.

    Good Luck Mate
  5. Cow

    Cow LE

    Never regret the things you've done, only the things you haven't done. I got out to have a career in Civi st, miss the Army something stupid sometimes but thats just like missing being a civi when was in.

    If you want to do it and can do it without too many problems then why not? Go for it, check how much you'd get for re-enlistment... May be happily supprised!
  6. Armies,

    It's your life mate and you need to make your own decisions. Parents will worry-it's only natural but they've got to get over it. You can't be your mum's little boy forever you know (I'm not having a dig at you but you know what I mean).

    Saying that, you'll have to examine the reasons why you left in the first place and realise that they may not have changed at all-you may have been out long enough to forget about them however they may begin to bug you as soon as you rejoin. The last thing you need is to rejoin and go 'fcuk this, it's exactly the same as last time-I want out'.

    Whatever you decide, good luck!
  7. Cow

    Cow LE

    Main reason I'm staying out, it hasn't changed one bit and ain't going to!
  8. Hold that thought! The Army is going rapidly to rat shit, with current our leadership there is no chance of improvement. If you survive to complete 22 years service you will get out with....? A few bob, a small pension some memories not all of which are good. The traditional squaddie broken marriage or two with a child or two, will take care of the money and the pension, try eating memories!

    My advice, open a brothel. It's the only shop where the customer pays and then leaves the goods behind!

  9. Anyone agree with the comment made above?
  10. I don't know what the rate of failed marriages/relationships is in the army compared to civvy street but don't lose sight of the fact that even in civvy street relationships go tits up pretty regularly and divorce is not exactly uncommon. From what I gather you're single anyway so that's not a worry at present.

    Why not go TA? You can keep up your civvy job and home for the present, there's ops tours to go on and you can use it as a springboard back into regular service if it's all as rosy as you remember.

    Hope these opinions are of some help. Best of luck!

    Ex STAB
  11. only you can decide if its right to join back up,make sure your certain yourself and be selfish and disregard other people,s feelings,they,ll get over it.the first 3 years are the hardest when you leave but it gets easier with time,i miss the crack you get between squaddies thats why i chew the cud with these reprebates!do whats best for you and you can,t go wrong.
  12. Think you will find most squaddies joined to get away from their families in the first place - I know what I would do if I was you - join up
  13. Thanks, to be honest though couldnt do TA, as i do shifts and work alot of weekends.

    My stepfather said to me today, ok if you rejoin look at what it offers:

    A very average wage- no bonuses or overtime
    A small pension at the end- if you survive the 22 years.
    A pay out at the end, that isnt all that good- again if you survive the 22 years.
    Lots of tours to the two sandy destinations.

    As I said, my mother and step father told me how worried they would be if i rejoin, and cant see any benefits the army has. They seem to have it inbedded in them that if i go on tour my luck will at some point run out and I will be another statistic. Its a horrible talk to have, but ive been through it many times.

    I tried saying that many of soldiers deaths are not actually work related, and talked of the benefits..but to no aveil.

    To be honest, if I rejoin Im going to be made to feel is it worth falling out with family over?

    Looks like I might lose this one, and not rejoin for my families sake. Thaks for those who advised anyway.
  14. Obviously he's bitter about his life
    ive had a good 19 years so far and been married for 14 of those and still married even with another tour looming. Also up until four years ago when my mum died she had always worried if i was going anywhere. Saying that she also worried when my civvy brothers travelled and moved to other countries with work, its a mums proogertive. As stated above your the only one who knows what best for you and if you do/dont think of how you will feel in 10/20 years time. Your mature enough to know if your making the right decision.
  15. The IRON's really right here. My mother (God Bless her) was really worried when I joined the TA at 17 in 1987. She was really worried when I moved out and lived on my own in 1990. She was really worried when I went to Algeria on Aid convoys in 1997 and 2002 and she was really worried when I went to United Arab Emirates to work for two months in 2005. A week after I came back she died and the worrying stopped.

    It's not a dress rehearsal. The army doesn't pay well but if you want some adventure and some mates you can rely on then just do it.
    Or get a better civvy job and go TA.

    Or sit down the pub of an evening and talk about what you could have done to anyone who wants to listen.

    You know what's right.

    Good luck Matey.